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Stars Beat Caps 4-3 in SO. Hockey is Stupid.

FLUSTERCLUCK

[Ed. note- Our apologies.  Peter takes losses hard and then gets grumpy.]

Inconsolable.

Bah grumble grumble gah shucks snizzelfritz. Humbug dang meh ugg noooooo crap.

After the Caps’ shootout loss to the Dallas Stars, we’re just not interested in writing a recap tonight, so instead you’re going to get a list of stupid things.

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Versus Doesn’t Think Alex Ovechkin Is Captain.

Versus Doesn't Think Alex Ovechkin Is Captain

Um, no. Thanks @ngreenberg!

Is Alex Ovechkin The Russian Destroyer?

After seeing this video today by Loffen, we think yes. This incredibly awesome clip includes almost every hit Alex Ovechkin has given out in his entire career AND a Metallica song. What’s not to love? NOTHING. WE’LL ANSWER THAT FOR YOU. Anyways, please watch Loffen’s Masterpiece entitled: Alexander Ovechkin “THE RUSSIAN DESTROYER” above.

Caps Shut Out Rangers 2-0! But Where’s Ovie?

(Awesome) Photo credit: Heather Mabb

Uh, right here? Photo credit: Heather Mabb

Sorry for the delays, everyone. Busy night.

The Capitals are now 40% through their longest home stint of the season, and it’s not gone too bad so far. In tonight’s game with the New York Rangers, Washington showed defensive rigor that’s been missing all year, but something was missing. Even though Eric Fehr and Eric Belanger’s goals lifted the Caps over the Rags, the “Is Party Now!” dynamics of Washington’s offense simply did not show up. At least Jose Theodore was perfect.

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Jose Theodore: #1 With A Bullet

Jose Theodore Makes A Save Against The New York Rangers

I touched briefly on why I thought the Caps goaltending could get them through a Cup run, and with Jose Theodore’s third shutout of the year I wanted to make his case why he should be the #1 goalie going into the playoffs.

My case is a simple one and is based on two points:

  1. Hockey is a skill sport, and once a player shows a particular skill it is his for the life of his career. Injuries and/or aging can dampen the skill, but the skill is still there.
  2. Jose Theodore has found a real life Hot Tub Time Machine.

Jose Theodore won the Hart and Vezina Trophy in 2001-02, was named to the 2nd NHL All Star team in that same year. He was an NHL All Star in 2002 and 2004 and won 10 in a row this year during the Caps 14 game win streak. Clearly, Jose has the skill to play goalie at a high level.

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Theodore and Caps Shut Out Rangers 2-0.

Even Rangers Fans heckle John Tortorella

Because we’re all getting laid tonight, our gamer is gonna be up very late. So while we’re gone, let us know what you thought about the Caps 2-0 victory. And oh yeah, Jose Theodore’s third shutout of the year. WOOOOO!! Special Thanks to BoycottSnyder for the photo.

Alex Ovechkin On The Olympics: I Still Have Pains

Alex Ovechkin Getting Back Into NHL Playing Shape. Photo by Mitchell Layton.

Alex Ovechkin Getting Back Into NHL Playing Shape. Photo by Mitchell Layton.

Fedor Fedin has finally returned, from his own self-imposed “Olympic Break,” and checks in with a new translation. This interview was conducted Thursday Night after the Capitals defeated the Tampa Bay Lightning 5-4.

Dmitri Chesnokov asked Alex Ovechkin about getting his timing back, if the Olympics are still getting him down, and what the Capitals need to do down the stretch to get ready for the playoffs. His answers are revealing. Check out the translation and Fedor’s take on it below the jump:

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Puck Drops 3/6: RMNB Gets You Ready For Caps vs. Rangers

Will Sean Avery be a prick tonight?

Will Sean Avery be a prick tonight?

The Capitals, who are 24-3-3 at home this year, currently have a club-record 12 straight wins and look for (unlucky?) number 13 tonight against the New York Rangers at 7:05pm. Unfortunately for the Capitals, against them tonight is the dreaded reverse-lock. For those who don’t know what that is, that’s when a scenario presents itself where conditions seem so perfect for a win – that it’s fair to assume the other team will do so because of unforeseen happenings. Why do we feel that way? Well, John Tortoralla has decided to rest Henrik Lundqvist tonight (Matt Bradley’s Best Friend), and is instead giving the keys to backup goaltender Alex Auld. Auld’s numbers on the year are: W/L: 9-6, GA: 3.00, SV%: .894 and his career numbers against the Capitals are W/L: 3-4, GA: 2.73, SV%: .896. Um, weak. Bruce Boudreau will counter with our time-traveling buddy Jose Theodore.

Anyways, since the reverse lock may be in effect – look for a 5 goal game from a gentlemanly Sean Avery who’ll concentrate more on forechecking than being a complete prick, and zero points from Marian Gaborik, who’ll be in the lineup for the first time since February 12th. And oh yeah, a 45 save shutout from Alex Auld.

Back in reality land, Tarik El Bashir has the Capitals Forward Lines for Tonight’s Game:

1st Line: Ovechkin-Backstrom-Knuble
2nd Line: Laich-Belanger-Semin (Belanger promoted)
3rd Line: Chimera-Fleischmann-Fehr (Flash back to center)
4th Line: Bradley-Steckel-Walker (Bradley returns!!)

Also, our partner Michael Hoffman, who will be supplying us quotes for the rest of the year, asked Bruce Boudreau about Alex Ovechkin’s slump since returning from the Olympics. Here’s what he had to say:

“Every year I’ve been here, Alex has had a little bit of a stretch where he just can’t find the net and then the next thing you know once he gets one in, he gets ten in four games. That’s the way’s he’s been and this is his little funk. I expect him to come out of it very soon.” – An Ovechkin goal scoring slump? Coach Boudreau isn’t concerned

Will Ovi come out of the slump tonight? Will Sean Avery be an a-hole? Make sure to watch the game on CSN and follow the Russian Machine on Twitter for all your updates.

Also, below the jump are your must reads before tonight’s game. We will be referring to them as Puck Drops for now on!

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Do The Caps Have The Goaltending To Win The Cup?

Is Jose Theodore and Semyon Varlamov enough to win a cup?

The Washington Capitals added depth on NHL Deadline Day, acquiring forwards Scott Walker and Eric Belanger, and blueliners Joe Corvo and Milan Jurcina, who returns to Washington after being traded, along with then team captain Chris Clark, to the Columbus Blue Jackets.

Despite these moves paying off immediate dividends, questions remain about the Caps goaltending: specifically, is it enough to keep pucks out of the net in the playoffs?

“No matter how fearsome their attack, they’re just OK at keeping pucks out of their net. They’ll enter the playoffs, likely as the top seed in the East, entrusting the most critical position on the ice to the likes of Jose Theodore, Semyon Varlamov and/or Michal Neuvirth.” – NBCSports.com

So what type of goaltending does it take to win the Cup, and do the Caps have it?

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