Stars Beat Caps 4-3 in SO. Hockey is Stupid.


[Ed. note- Our apologies.  Peter takes losses hard and then gets grumpy.]


Bah grumble grumble gah shucks snizzelfritz. Humbug dang meh ugg noooooo crap.

After the Caps’ shootout loss to the Dallas Stars, we’re just not interested in writing a recap tonight, so instead you’re going to get a list of stupid things.

  • Grumpy writer, grumpy bulldog, formerly lucky t-shirt.

    Grumpy writer, grumpy bulldog, not-lucky t-shirt.

    Semyon Varlamov. A year ago he was the talk of the league, but it’s not a stretch to say he’s a shadow of his former self.
  • People criticizing Varlamov. How bout some loyalty, folks?
  • Hypocrites.
  • Brad Richards. What a butt– going horizontal on Varly and then backhanding the puck high on the glove side? Where’d he learn that? Reading hockey blogs??? LOSER.
  • Third period. That’s when the Caps are supposed to be awesome. The SECOND period is when two bad penalties and worser penalty kills are supposed to happen.
  • Alex Ovechkin. Score two goals in a loss? What’s the point? And why does he play the shootout like his 2-car garage is on fire? It’s just him, the goalie, and 40-some feet of ice.  Patience, young padawan.
  • Marty Turco. If 50-plus pucks get thrown at you, you’re supposed to let at least 5 past. Read the rulebook, old man.
  • Semin's recent play epitomized in photo. (Photo: Susan Walsh. Above: Jim McIsaac)

    Semin's recent play epitomized in photo. (Photo: Susan Walsh. Above: Jim McIsaac)

    We call Alex Semin‘s new shootout strategy “the divine wind.” Being better than everyone else doesn’t mean anything if you can’t score when scoring is needed.
  • The Capstronaut. You’re fun when the Caps are winning, but the toy lights in your helmet might spur me to epileptic rage black-outs when they lose.
  • Streaks. They’re not streaks if they aren’t achieved.  Now, it’s just a bunch of home wins in a row– but nothing that your boy Danny Steinberg is gonna write about.
  • Lucky t-shirts. Yeah, I’m wearing my lucky “Ovie gives the stink eye to a plate of nachos” shirt. Well it’s just a normal t-shirt now. It’s pretty and it keeps my manly chest covered up, but it no longer guarantees winning hockey games. Buy yours today, ladies and gentlemen.

Grrrr fudge balls. Mekalekahi meka hiney hiney ho. Great Caesar’s ghost blah whatever mmmf.

Have a good night. See you on Wednesday, folks.

  • matty N

    hmmm. well, they dominated for two, and gave up the game inside of 5 minutes in the 3rd. and…Varly? he gets 5 years to prove he can play in this league/organization. free pass. he in his 2nd of 5. unfortunately for him, its going very poorly since his injury return this year. Lets all be clear, we dont know his healthy condition, but we’ll all admit he’s not the stopper at this point. rest up. heard it here, no chance – zero – he will recover for the stretch run this year. too late to try and rebuild lost teammate confidence. Time to step up Jose! (btw – you looked so awesome the other night)….

    bring us home Ovie. Rid us of the slient pain Semin brings. Nicky and Mike silence the critics. Its our time. but we will need 5 a night to get past our GT weakness.

    BTW – that stick fake was sublime tonight OV.

  • Sara Bae

    awww! PECHAL”NIY DEN”! that pic of you and your dog is too cute and soooo depressing at the same time! cheer up,guys!
    “u wanna sooooooo-da?” —> hehe
    i hope this vid at least cheers you up!

  • Mary K

    “Mekalekahi meka hiney hiney ho.”

    Love it! Flash back to childhood tv shows!

  • Bagel


  • Peter

    @Matty, great points.

    Do you think Theo should return to the net on Wednesday, or should BB just stick with Varly until he gets the kinks out? This, after all, is the part of the season when stakes are low. The goal for the next 18 or so games is to hammer the team into playoff shape.


    Stop defacing this site with your bulldog comments.

  • MoniMaz

    Dude you nailed it.

    If I may add: Refs who don’t call penalties until 3rd. And who cares if they weren’t any until on or about then, they should have been calling them anyway. Why was last night any different?? #justsayin

    I console myself by watching replay of Ovechkin hit on Jagr.

  • Peter

    @MoniMaz, I hate you for using the #justsayin hashtag.

  • MoniMaz

    Umm.. don’t h8 🙁 I’m such a Twitter noob. Please explain. If I send pix from better parts of last night’s game will that make amends?

  • MoniMaz

    it has been explained. sorry man. 🙁 delete my post if you want….

  • Peter


    I was just kidding! I’m sorry if hurt your feelings! Thanks for commenting.


  • I see lots of people ragging on Varly, but you don’t go almost 3 whole months without playing and come back as sharp as he was before the injuries. I think he should keep getting starts, 1) for the game action and 2) for his confidence level. I think Theo deserves the #1 position right now given the way he’s been playing, but repairing Varly’s psyche and confidence should be given priority, as well. I thought Varly showed flashes of his old self last night – it was so good to see! Honestly, the game never should have been that close, but Turco was standing on his head and doing his best Ryan Miller impersonation.

  • Jean-Marie

    Reading the ” Hockey is stupid” rant made me feel better about last night’s ummmmm…..let’s call it ” get the scew-ups out of our system now, before the playoffs start” episode. Not hugely better, but a bit better.

    P.S.- Peter,you’re rather cute when you’r grumpy lol

  • Peter

    @Courtney, I think you nailed it. Theodore had the same psychological issue earlier this season when he said, “I just work here.” Theo finally got played, and was a superstar (41 saves against the Wings IIRC). Varly needs to get continue to get ice time now, so he can be in prime condition– mentally and physically– by the end of the regular season.

  • Elyssa

    Ummm, yea…being there in person last night was pretty sad. And there was a woman in a Modano jersey just a few seats in front of me and it took all I had to not judo kick her down the stairs as we left…but hopefully tomorrow night they’ll come out ready to go! And that picture of you and the bulldog is beyond cute, while also summing up how every Caps fan felt leaving the arena last night 🙂