Biostatistician and devoutly “warped” Caps fan, Stevie K, is gifted with numbers in a way that I am not.  Whereas my girlfriend does not permit me to keep score at Scrabble, K has performed a statistical analysis to ascertain how soon, in a perfect situation, the Washington Capitals can secure the Presidents’ Trophy (hereafter “The Prez”) for the first time in the team’s history.

What follows is a peek into a disturbed mind, wherein the machinations of p-values and standard deviations are comprehended with ease.  Abandon all hope, ye who read on, of understanding what Stevie K now lays at your feet; let the numbers wash over you and ease you into a narcotic stupor.  Trip the light fantastic amidst a really big spreadsheet.   I promise to bold the important stuff that makes sense to normal human beings.

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