How much did last night suck? True story: Peter and Ian had a big fight about writing the game recap. Peter was too grumpy to write it, and Ian was too grumpy to put up with Peter’s hissy fit. Today, they exchanged LOLcats and everything seems fine again. For now.
Is the change of mood due to the Caps’ pathetic overtime loss, or is something more sinister behind it? Could it be that our nascent facial hair is turning us into hyper-masculine, moody bastards? The intention of #beardpact was to create levity and togetherness among Caps fans, but it may have gone awry. Let’s take this time to redouble our efforts. No change from yesterday: sixteen wins stand between our team and glory. Within that increment there must be a lot of dudes with itchy necks and annoyed girlfriends/wives/platonic opposite-sex companions.
Let’s check in with the RMNB staff, all of whom could use a hug today.
Imperator Ian Oland has a long way to go.
Wordsmith Peter “Neckbeard” Hassett‘s anger is 50% last night’s loss and 50% wanting to shave.
Vegas oddsmakers have math-man Neil Greenberg‘s odds of bailing on #beardpact before Monday at 80%.
Please share words of encouragement below. Neil is clearly way ahead, but unhappy about it. Ian is in dead last place, and Peter is going to two weddings in the next week. Help is needed!
Brother blogger RockTheRed is sideways, but looking manly.
If you’re growing a playoff beard, get thee to Beard-A-Thon with the quickness. Then post your pictures on Twitter with the hashtag #beardpact, so that we may congratulate/mock you. Other playoff desiderata include fingernails, dyed hair, piercings, jewelry, and anything else you can think of.
Take one for the team, guys. Tomorrow is another day. It may be itchy, but we don’t have to lose!
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
All original content on russianmachineneverbreaks.com is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0)– unless otherwise stated or superseded by another license. You are free to share, copy, and remix this content so long as it is attributed, done for noncommercial purposes, and done so under a license similar to this one.