Russian Machine Never Breaks: The Party

Front Page Arlington

Front Page Arlington

What makes a good party? Drink specials, good food, and great friends.  If you throw in a sashed pageant-winner, signed Caps gear, and the lovely facilities of Front Page Arlington, you’re entering Great Party territory.  That’s RMNB’s First Year Party for you.

Here are the deets. At 6PM, the doors of our party will open to the huddled masses.  Hopefully, we’ll keep everyone properly entertained until 12:30am – or whenever Michael Jenkins shows up and saves us after SportsNite. This party is an all-ages affair, but attendees under the age of 21 will have their hands X’ed in classic D.C. tradition.

There will be no underage drinking at the party. Front Page is doing us a solid by letting us hang out, so we’re going to follow their rules.  Besides, we can’t have people thinking our readers are a bunch of loudmouthed buffons.  That’s our reputation, and we’ve worked too hard to let you usurp it.

Front Page is gracious enough to let us occupy the Back Bar and the Atrium as well. Let’s show them the proper respect for allowing us to run our victory lap in their fine establishment.  Would have been a lot more fun if we had a Stanley Cup with us…

How about the food? The Front Page has created a special burger just for the party. For $9.99, you will be able to eat the Ovie Burger, which I can only assume will include Russian Dressing, 8 pickles & a spicy dipping sauce made from the tears of Max Talbot. If you’re saving your hard-earned money for the raffle, the Front Page will also be offering Happy Hour specials until 8pm. Check it out:

Happy Hour Specials

Rail Drinks – $2.75, All Draft Specials – $3
House Wine – $3.25


Fried Ravioli – $3.49
Chicken Tenders – $3.49
Mozzarella Sticks – $3.49
Hummus Platter – $3.49
Quesadilla – $3.99 With Chicken: $5.49
Nachos – $3.49 With chicken or chili: $5
Hamburger Sliders With Fries $4.50
Chicken Sliders With Fries $4.50
Crab & Artichoke Dip – $4.49
Fried Calamari – $4.49
Front Page Buffalo Wings – $4.49
Mini Pesto Pizza – $4.99
Front Page Sampler – $5.49

Yeah. Go ahead and sign me up for like 10 orders of the Chicken Tenders.

Charity Raffle

The other big part of the night is going to be our raffle benefiting Sam’s charity Love146. Love146 is an organization that helps prevent child sex trafficking and exploitation around the world.  RMNB too has taken up the brave stance against human slavery, so we’re honored that Samantha gave us this opportunity to contribute. Our goal is to raise $1,000 Saturday night. Some of the items being raffled off include:

  • Mike Knuble-signed hockey stick
  • Alex Ovechkin-signed puck
  • Mike Green-signed puck
  • Nicklas Backstrom-signed puck
  • Mathieu Perreault-signed puck
  • John Carlson-signed bobblehead
  • John Carlson not-really-signed-at-all bobblehead
  • Signed cards from Boyd Gordon
  • John Carlson-signed jersey t-shirt
  • Two John Carlson-signed pucks
  • Group-signed puck from the Russian prospects: Stanislav Galiev, Evgeny Kuznetsov & Dmitri Orlov
  • Stanislav Galiev-signed puck
  • Evgeny Kuznetsov-signed puck
  • Dmitri Orlov-signed puck
  • GMGM-signed puck
  • Cody Eakin-signed puck
  • Anton Gustafsson-signed puck
  • Bruce Boudreau-signed puck
  • Marcus Johansson-signed puck
  • Braden Holtby-signed puck
  • Zach Miskovic-signed puck
  • 15+ RMNB shirts
  • Framed Colored-Pencil masterpiece from Michael Jenkins
  • 5 Hershey Bears Game 6 Calder Cup Finals DVD’s w/bonus footage from the ice. (Same as what the players got from the team.)
  • Framed Photography from Neil Greenberg

How did we get all this stuff?  Mostly blackmail, but also the generosity of our friends and readers.

What To Wear?

The dress code is pretty simple: Either wear a RMNB t-shirt or whatever you think is appropriate hanging-out-with-a-model attire. Keep in mind that if you wear an RMNB t-shirt, Ian and Neil will definitely hug you (Peter will eyeball you suspiciously), and you’ll get a discount on your raffle ticket.  Personally, I’ll be wearing my recently acquired Dmitri Orlov KHL jersey.

Also, there will be a paid photographer at this event. So look pretty and  mug at the camera.

What To Bring

Your mobile device so you can tweet (hashtag: #rmnbparty), a camera, and money.


You can get to Front Page Arlington by car or on the Metro (Orange Line, one block walk from the Ballston Station). Since it’s not a weekday, we have spared you the terrible, capitol Beltway traffic. You’re welcome.

We will also be trying to set up a “Like” station where people can follow us on Facebook and talk to Fedor Live From Moscow. That’s all subject to technical issues in the bar, but we’re going to try like the dickens to make it work.

Caps superfan supreme, The Horn Guy, will be in attendance.  If we’re lucky, he’ll bring the horn.

Remember: our party is in no way affiliated with the Washington Capitals, the greatest team to ever play the sport of hockey.

Well, that’s pretty much it. We think it’s gonna be a fun night. But if you’ve got “other plans“, we’ll totally understand.

See you Saturday night. If any of you have questions, please leave us a comment below and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible.  IS PARTY NOW!

And oh yeah, someone please convince Peter to bring his guitar. [not gonna happen – pmh]

  • Sounds awesome, really looking forward to it!

  • JDP

    Will there be punch and pie?

  • How does the Ovie Burger not have nacho cheese on it?


  • WashCapsRock

    Peter – bring the guitar or I hold all of your merchandise hostage!

  • Manda

    What time are the raffle winners announced?

  • I think we’re going to do the raffle around 8 or 9.

  • I thought the “X’ed” link was going to be a Minor Threat video, but alas, it was not. *sigh* haha

  • Peter Hassett


    If it helps, we discussed linking to Minor Threat.

  • Oh nice, I feel better knowing that it was considered haha

  • holly golightly

    Ha! just scrolled down here to leave a link to a minor threat video but it appears others beat me to mention it. does this mean there will be punk rock hockey fans there?! looking forward to the party tomorrow!

  • Jon

    @Stephy, I too, was hoping for the ‘X’ed’ link to go to this:

  • Elyssa

    Definitely looking forward to it! Lol and my dad definitely told me to wear my knit hat regardless of how hot it is…he claims that I can’t possibly go to the party if I’m not in my “crazy knit hat lady” persona ;o)

  • I initially linked ‘X’ed’ to this, but Peter changed it during editing. IT WAS WAY COOLER.

  • Peter Hassett

    Now I really regret leaving out the punk stuff. For the record, Neil and I are big hardcore fans. Ian took HISTORY OF ROCK and got a C.

    Fedor probably likes weird European stuff.

  • Peter Hassett

    Ian, the video still goes to that stupid Xzibit video. Everyone is angry with you cause that song sucks and punk rock rules.

  • Yeah, I got a C. How am I supposed to know who was considered the 5th Beatle? To this day, I still can’t remember for the life of me who the 4th guy was (George Harrison). And for your information, Fedor doesn’t like weird European stuff. He loves The Rasmus and Muse. Err… wait, that proved your point.

  • holly golightly

    i knew you guys had to be cool. i’ll have to hunt you down tomorrow night for a good HC chat!

  • Quick, e-mail Ian MacKaye and get him to donate sweet Dischord stuff for the raffle.

  • Peter Hassett

    We asked Ian MacKaye. He said Ballston was too suburban.

  • hahaha. I would say ask Brian Baker to come but I think he hates hockey. LAME.

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  • FedFed

    Peter – if you need American – it’s OK:
    I like Bayside, Jupiter One, Evanescence, Treble Charger, etc.

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  • Taylor

    the ovie burger shouldve been $8.88.. just saying.

  • The Horn Guy

    I had a lot of fun and met a lot of really nice people. Congrats go out to all the RMNB crew for a successful gathering and a terrific first year!

  • BobbyG

    @Taylor: I agree!

    @RMNB: you deserve a C for not knowing the 5th Beatle LOL!

    Congratulations again on an awesome first year, and may you have many more to come.

  • Ian, et. al. – FANTASTIC party! Thank you so much for hosting. I had a total blast! 🙂

  • Great fun — you all pulled together quite the gig. Thanks!

    Some observations & photos: