RMNB & Its Readers Wish Alex Ovechkin Happy Birthday

RMNBs Birthday Card for Alex Ovechkin.

We asked you, the noble hordes of the Russian Machine, to congratulate our hero Alex Ovechkin on his 25th year of life.  You had to make a birthday card.  The only rule was that you had to use a cheap graphic editor to make it.

What we didn’t tell you was that we didn’t have to follow the same rules. Above, is our card for Ovi via new RMNB illustrator, Rachel Cohen. Welcome to the team!

Meanwhile, you guys knocked this assignment out of the park.  Like Shakespeare unto the sonnet, you transcended the limitations of the form and blazed new trails of Art with a capital A. Sad we are that only one of you shall win the grand prize.  Cruise on down past the jump to check out the gallery.

Lindsey N's Birthday Card for Ovi

Lindsay N., clearly inspired by this piece of crap drawing, decided to go the sheep route. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. And for that, we thank you @lindsaynotlohan.

Ovi Birthday Card via Lucy Brown

Lucy Brown, writer of one our favorite Caps blogs Hockey is my Boyfriend, created Ovie’s name out of some of his favorite things. I love the creativity here.


Kristen M. shows us that Ovi and the Red Power Ranger have an awful lot in common. Who knew?


Using nothing but logo trickery, I Rock The Red, created a mutant, double-headed Weagle which hints at Ovi’s Russian heritage.


Brandon B., wins the award for brightest colors on a birthday card. That pterodactyl is a nice touch! 😛


Sara Bae’s back, and I have no idea what’s going on here. Why’s Semin in jail?? When did he get red hair?


Great job, Melissa!


Snovechkin, is that you?? Stop melting yourself!!! Well done, Forrest S.


Isabelle P-Taylor gets the award for most pain-staking detail in her card. I love the blush on Ovi’s face. On a side note, Hockey-playing girls from the UK are awesome.


In this illustration, we find Ovi in someone’s backyard after a trip to Medieval Times. Samantha G., be proud, you also win the award for being the most blunt! Love. it.

ovy you

Our comrade, Tuvan Hillbilly of Japers Rink, killed it on this one. OH man.


Jun Arakaki, of the Marine Corps Community Services in Okinawa, sent us this incredible card. Unbelievable. We’re so honored to have a reader out there!! Jun, if spreadshirt ships out to where you are, you get a t-shirt. Send us your address, t-shirt of choice and size.


Mcawful submitted this lovely ditty. And surprisingly, she was the only person to allude to or illustrate ripped jeans. We will admit however that we can’t stop laughing at the sleepover illustration where Nicky looks so incredibly excited and Semin is smoking. What a great touch!

And finally, our grand prize winner, courtesy of Stephanie C:


Look at the unfettered joy on his face, the nachos in tow, and the ensemble that defies description.  Congratulations, Stephanie. And congratulations, Alexander Ovechkin, on reaching your silver year.  I’ve got a feeling there’s a big-ass silver cup in your future.

  • Jessica

    This is pure goodness.

  • Isabelle

    Reading this at 7:30 this morning really made it worth getting out of bed :-D. I’m loving the yellow crocs & all-round ridiculous outfit on the winner!

  • All great submissions! Is party now! 🙂

  • Nancy S

    Excellente! Congrats to all for making my morning special.
    Let training camp begin—go caps!

  • Sara Bae

    AAHAHAH!!!! i loooveee that card with the sleepover of semin and backstrom! ahaha best! Card! EVERRRRR! ahahahaha

    semin is in the “sin bin” because that drunk ass dropped ovi’s bday cake…the pic i made was just an illustration for that retarded song i wrote…i just wanted to clear the confusion haha i am so scatterbrained… 🙁

    p.s. semin is def a ginger.. it’s just subtle because he is a “DAY WALKER” 😉

  • Jenf1

    No, the yellow crocs on his feet. There is the winning detail!

  • Lindsey

    Semy is a ging? I feel like he and I are capable of bonding over our unfortunate hair color then. Daywalkers UNITE.

    The sleepover graphic is my favorite thing ever.

  • Danny

    The contest’s stipulations clearly say: “Using MS Paint or any other primitive graphic program (Photoshop is cheating), make a birthday card for Alex Ovechkin.”

    While the winning entry is indeed great, it CLEARLY violates the criteria. As such, a new winner should be selected.

    My vote is for the one of Ovie wearing a crown and proclaiming his hotness and Russianness.

  • Peter Hassett

    Steph, Danny says you’re a cheater. Is he right?

  • Sara Bae’s is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen; I totally died.

    I also really like Sticks on Fire. But seriously, everything here is hilarious.

  • Danny, I made the ENTIRE thing in MS Paint with the brush tool and the fill tool, and I really don’t see how mine looks any different than the other entries that were drawn in MS Paint…Although I guess I am flattered that you think I cheated? haha

    Everyone did SUCH a good job with this, I got such a kick out of looking at everyone’s!

  • Taz

    Absolutely love the “temple of poetry”, perfect application. But they’re all hysterical, all totally fab. It’s also really amazing to see the great variety of Ovie-ness this collection encompases, all the details that fans have picked up about him. I think these make a great art exhibit of “fan expressionism”.

    Thanks RMNB for being the catalyst for this superb creativity, but especially to the arteests!

  • BobbyG

    No way I could compete with these terrific entries! Congratulations to all who submitted and especially the winner Stephanie C. Everyone did a great job capturing Ovie’s awesome personality.

    “YOU ARE MY TEMPLE OF POETRY” — ROFL! This one is a special favorite of mine. Awesome!

  • CapsFan1975

    Nice drawings! Loved them all. Agree with Sara Bae that Semin is a red head — or at least his hair’s as red as Flash’s but not as red as Squeaks or Kuger.

    I wonder if Semin was in the SIn Bin in Sara’s drawing in reference to the fact that he was in the penalty box when Ovi scored the 50 goal and did the “hot stick” celebration.

    The sleepover graphic was cute. Well, Ovi needs to be with his fellow Muskateers in search of their Holy Grail.

  • GinaRS

    ♥♥♥ IT! GoCapsGo!

  • These are all so awesome. Great job everybody!

  • Brandon B.

    It’s not a pterodactyl! Just a crappy Weagle! haha