EXCLUSIVE: Alan May has an iPhone

So we’re just kicking it, eating some Mallomars, watching CSN’s delightful coverage of the hockey match. There’s Alan May, he of chiseled face and permanently furrowed brow, dispensing hardearned hockey Knowledge as if it were nothing more than Werther’s Original Caramels to undeserving children. He has the wisdom of a veteran and the disapproving glare of a Victorian schoolmaster. But he also has…  well… what is that?


Enhance quadrant 17-Theta.


That’s hard to see, but I think that’s an iPhone, folks (CONFIRMED). Alan May, the ascendant scribe/scryer/sage of Comcast Sportsnet Washington and survivor of nine punishing NHL seasons, has a cute little smartphone in addition to his iPad.  He’s one man straddling the digital divide: one foot in the hardscrabble hockey days of the 80’s and 90’s, the other standing firm on cloudsourced megagigabytes of self-replicating memes and videos of animals that sound like people.

His tweets no longer @mention himself, and he’s adopted a dichotomous wise/fool tone. He’s engaging commentators and spreading his love of tough-as-nails hockey. But he’s also playing Scramble during commercials breaks and placing online orders for Chipotle so he doesn’t have to wait in those ridiculous lines.

The age of digital Alan May is here. Your move, Internet.

Tagged with:
  • Wes

    He’s working on an iPhone app that will allow you to put Dino Ciccarelli in a sleeper hold. Everyone but Dino is excited for it.