Unleash the Futility:* Panthers beat Caps 3-0

Florida Scores. Ugh.

Slumber party. (Photo credit: Jacquelyn Martin)

There’s no way the Capitals can lose four in a row, especially if three of the four are held in the friendly climes of Chinatown. Against the Florida Panthers– improbable. With eight powerplay opportunities– inconceivable. Shut out– should be impossible.

Prepare to have your minds blown.

We were scoreless until one second remained in the second period. Michael Frolik plopped a loose puck into a wide-open net. Halfway into the third period, Steve Bernier shoved in another loose puck after two failed attempts. Mike Santorelli converted on a late-game powerplay in a similar breakdown. That’s it. That’s the whole dang scoring recap. You didn’t even see a Capitals player in this paragraph, did you? Panthers beat Caps 3-0.

Bleh bullets

  • omnomnomnomSweater (Thanks, @squints!)

    omnomnomnomSweater (Thanks, @squints!)

    The Caps are slumping hard. Haaaaaaard.
  • Semyon Varlamov deserves precisely none of the blame for tonight’s loss, and we will gladly enter Thunderdome with anyone who suggests otherwise. Both goals came from exhausted and frustrated defenders. Semyon was his typical hyper-kinetic self, and I can’t wait for him to play a game with his REAL hockey team.
  • The Capitals had five powerplay chances in the first period. They put 18 pucks on net. Eric Fehr alone had five.
  • Tomas Vokoun, who might have been a Caps goalie in an alternate universe, earned the shut out I suppose.
  • CSN’s Al Koken reported that he did not hear the details of Bruce Boudreau’s second intermission speech, only the volume. BBBB (Bench Boss Bruce Boudreau) looked extraordinarily peeved tonight. Darth Boudreau.
  • Does anyone want to keep reading about this game? If you stopped right here, I’d totally understand. Watching this game was a chore. Writing about it feels like punishment.
  • BBBB’s displeasure was evident in some of the adjustments he made. For a while, Alex Ovechkin switched from playing point on the powerplay to playing low. I couldn’t keep track of the lines, but it felt like powerball– any combination will do.
  • No more bullets for you.
Joe B's suit of the night

Joe B's suit of the night

The Capitals are slumping something fierce. This season they have lost to some of the worst teams in the league (Leafs, Devils, Panthers). They have sabotaged their powerplay, and they show no signs of fixing it anytime soon. But we shall not boo! Booing helps no one.

Stick to the sarcastic clap

What have we learned? Don’t scratch Matt Bradley.

* NOTE: Thanks to Sam Wolk, The Horn Guy, for “Unleash the futility.”

  • http://crzyjewishotaku.deviantart.com Rachel Cohen

    Before folks start naming names and calling for heads, I’m just gonna say that no matter what happens, win or lose, I’m gonna keep rootin’ for these guys. They’re my Caps, and I’ll be there. No matter what.

  • http://www.sweetesthockeyonearth.com/ Kyle M

    Can we please get a .gif of that video?

  • Dominic K

    Even after a miserable loss when we are slumping something miserable, this article cracked me up. I just don’t know what we have to do to pick ourselves back up. I can’t help but feel as though Boudreau shouldn’t bear the brunt of the blame- its our players.

  • BobbyG

    I’m not going to kick the Caps while they’re down. No booing, no jumping off the bandwagon, no crying out for someone’s head.

    But can we agree this team can try the patience and test the will of even their most dedicated and loyal fans? Sometime, hopefully soon, that dedication and loyalty will be rewarded. I’m waiting. Patiently.

  • http://www.calacirian.org sonja

    I think the players are bored. They are bored with doing the same thing over and over and over again.

  • Kathryn

    The slow clap video just made me feel all better.

  • J.P.

    I say we send everybody but Varly down to Hershey and bring up all the Bears. They certainly couldn’t do any worse. All this losing has everyone in the NHL thinking they can waltz into DC and beat up on the Caps. The sad thing is, they’re right. The aura is vanquished and the bottom feeders are now openly salivating at the prospect of taking on the Caps.
    I keep wondering if the Caps are trying too hard to score the showy/nifty/highlight goals instead of the goals of the gritty variety simply because the HBO cameras are watching. These guys are gonna get absolutely torn up by the Pens in a week or so if the top 2 lines don’t start focusing on getting in front of the net and doing some work.

  • Pat

    I wasn’t worried at all until tonight………. I figured: “Hey, the panthers! That’ll be a pretty easy game for us to build some confidence!” I was wrong. Bobby Holik said it best: It’s all in their heads. We have the talent, the depth, the goaltending, but everybody is either too complacent to lacks the confidence. I have all the faith in the world that we will come out of this slump by the winter classic! We’ll end crosby’s point streak, and ovi will start one of his own that will last until june!

  • DarkStranger44

    Rachel and Bobby,

    Glad you’re showing more patience with the guys than I feel.

    JP,

    I agree 100% with your suggestion. Send the whole team down to Hershey, except Varly. We’ll keep Perreault up as well. I actually suggested that very thing. Our guys are too nervous to shoot properly. The Hershey guys have nothing to lose and will at least work harder.

    Okay, the logistics wouldn’t work out at all. But, here’s a thought. Do we have any forwards who are “dinged up”, healthwise? If we have any, I would say put them on injured reserve, give then the week off to heal, and call up a Hershey guy in his place. Granted the “ding” would normally cause a one game scratch at most but at this point we need new energy and I’m sure a Hershey callup at forward would do better than any of the current forwards on our roster.

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  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian

    Clearly, Bruce must not play a lot of video games. Because my philosophy in the third when you’re down a few goals would be to go to the hero line every other shift. Not once was Backstrom, Ovechkin or Semin together in that final frame at even strength. I don’t get it.

  • Peter Hassett

    @Ian,

    You ignorant slut.

    BBBB switched up the lines because 8-19-22 has been careless and unmotivated, because they seem to care only about the post-season. The bottom two lines were the ones with lots of zone time and pucks on or near net. I imagine BBBB wanted the typical goal scorers to combine their talent with the checking lines’ energy.

  • GIF Making Person

    @Kyle:

    A gif? You mean like this? :)

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  • FedFed
  • Em

    OMFG. LMBO! Whatever anger I felt was totally erased by the sarcastic clap video (and the fact that I’m rooting for Phoenix and whoever plays the Caps from now on). See?? That is why I read RMNB. You guys make everything aaalllll better. :)

  • Lania

    Didn’t the BBBB say that players get spots on merit from now on? If they won’t work, sit them down. Maybe watching a game will give them some new motivation

  • http://www.irockthered.net/ IRockTheRed

    BBBB – I like that nickname. Kinda sounds like what I’ve been feeling like lately.

    This slump, too, shall pass.

  • CapsFan

    Concur that the loss does not reflect badly on Varly just on every other Cap on the ice last night. I saw Ovi standing around on the ice so often I wondered if he was looking for the X2 bus. The Panthers turned the Phone Booth into the Litter Box. (And with three cats at home, I know from cat poop.)

  • mona

    I know that I am a recent caps fan, but being a fan in Cleveland says something for hanging on. I really wish that the team would treat every game like the playoffs and win. Good job to Varly! And shouldn’t everyone else atleast look like they were playing on the same ice. With a team that appears to enjoy one player games this one seemed to have bitten them.

  • Em

    After reading all the news clips and whatnot, I have feelings for the Caps right now that are not negative. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but…I am feeling something weird inside about the boys right now. I’ve only heard about this kind of feeling, never experienced it, especially in hockey…I think it’s called something like…compassion or something. I feel bad for them–I know they make a lot of $$, they need to get their asses in gear, and they need to deliver the results that are expected of them by their coaches, their fans, and themselves. But…I am feeling all gross this morning with all this compassion inside me bubbling over for these boys.

    Anyway, I don’t think the slump or the losing streak is over, and it could be a long time before they snap out of it, and there’s NO excuse for the way they’re playing, but…something is wrong with them. Something is wrong with this team. Time for a heart-checking, gut-wrenching, tear-spilling, captian-changing, bitch-slapping team meeting. Somebody call in Mike Green’s sports psychologist for a consultation.

  • CapsFan

    A Caps spokesperson just said the flu has hit the team inc Semin, Carlson, Backs and Laich. Ummm, guys, anyone ever heard of a FLU SHOT? Not 100% protection, but still a good idea.

    I was at the game last night an did not see an announcement that it was the latest consecutive sold out game. From the hundreds of empty seats in every section, this was not a surprise.

  • http://make-lemons.com michelle

    yep… VC was very empty last night. I was talking to a guy after the 1st period and he said that before the game he saw the cops take away a bunch of scalpers in handcuffs…….

  • Peter Hassett

    The Capitals organization confirms that last night’s game was indeed a sell-out. 77th straight.

  • CapsFan

    Scalpers arrested, really? Wow. That’s new. I do think the scalper situation was on Ted L’s list of 100 things to address.

    Srlsly, last night was the 77th consecutive sell-out? Using the new math? Counting in base 8? I know that plenty, probably most, of the empty seats were paid for just not used. But a sell-out? I am very suspicious of this claim.

  • BobbyG

    @DarkStranger44: I might have patience with the Caps, it’s being tested and pushed to the limit. I have no answers to what’s wrong with the Caps, only my opinion, but I decided not to get carried away with speculation and to stay the course instead, at least for the time being. I hope they don’t break my heart…AGAIN.

    @Peter Hassett and/or IRockTheRed: maybe I’m missing something, but what does BBBB mean as a nickname? I tried to figure it out from the posted SNL video link, and no luck. I assume it has to do with Coach Boudreau, but that’s it. Please help me out here.

  • Peter Hassett

    @BobbyG,

    Bench Boss Bruce Boudreau. It’s dumb, but it’s like a pair with GMGM. Sorry.

  • BobbyG

    Thanks for clearing this up Peter. The BBBB nickname isn’t dumb at all, I like it. It correlates very well with GMGM.