Feed The Machine: Blockage and Stoppage

Feed The Machine

Another week has passed and amazingly people still have questions for us. Judging by our readers’ letters, it seems like most of you have lost hope that this year is the year. Don’t worry, we deleted those emails and focused all our attention on questions regarding groins.

Like always, if you’ve got a question, a comment, or need ideas on how to get out of jury duty, feel free to shoot us a message and we’ll answer you back next Friday!

Now follow us past the jump, where our grandiose hero Neil weights in on the topics of officiating and trades.

Missy V. seems a bit preoccupied with our Twitter bio:

I noticed on Twitter that it says you have been “blocked by Mike Green”. What is the story behind that?

I know the RMNB lawyer does not want us talking about it, but since you are a new reader I am going to hope she isn’t reading and tell you the whole story.

Wait, we have no idea why.

# # #

Janet W. wants to understand NHL officiating better (don’t we all):

How do Linesmen decide when to wave off an icing call?

I don’t see them carrying around their own Monte Carlo Machine (which can be seen at Verizon Center on Saturday where I will be in attendance) to do simulated coin flips so they probably follow NHL Rule 81.5, which states:

The Linesman shall have discretion to wave off apparent icing infractions on attempted passes if those passes are deemed receivable (attainable). In order for the Linesman to wash out the icing for this reason, the receiving player’s stick must be on the attacking side of the center red line and he must be eligible to receive the pass (e.g., he cannot be in an off-side position and cannot be involved in a player change that would result in a too many men on the ice penalty if he were to play the puck).

# # #

Jon J. inquires if the time is right to trade one of the Caps young goalies:

I just thought I’d bring up some trade discussion. I was wondering if a deal involving the New Jersey Devils for a center would be worth it. Most noticeably, for either Travis Zajac or Zach Parise. The Devils are going to have salary cap problems when Parise returns from injury, and I was thinking that given Marty’s decline, a package involving Neuvirth would be attractive.

It’s an interesting proposal. I am sure you are not the only fan that wants a bona-fide second line center and would be open to trading one of the young goaltenders to get one. I am not one of them. It’s not because I don’t think Parise or Zajac would be good additions, it is because the cost of losing one of the three goalies is too much.

The Hockey News ran a quick blurb in their print magazine last month that since goaltending was “so important”, it was strange the teams that spend the most on their ‘keepers make up the majority of basement dwellers in the NHL. They’re looking at it wrong; those teams are in the cellar because they spent so much on goaltending. Here’s why:

The real measure of goaltending talent is save percentage, so if we look at the Top 15 goalies in the NHL we see they have a Sv% of .925. If we look at the next 30, they have a Sv% of .906. So, roughly a ten goal difference over the course of a season. Is that worth spending an extra couple million for per year? Of course not. If the Caps traded one of the young ‘tenders they would have to replace him with a veteran who might cost that much, and it’s not worth it. And no, I don’t feel Holtby is ready for the NHL. Yet.

# # #

Nicole asks what has been on all our minds ever since the #brittlegroin epidemic first reared it’s ugly head:

“Does a groin injury mean no sex?”

Not if you follow some of these simple, safety tips from WebMD:

  1. Use a step stool when reaching for high objects.
  2. Do not stand on chairs or other objects.
  3. Wear jockey shorts, not boxers.

Introduction by Ian Oland; editing by Chris Gordon.


    I’ve suffered groin injuries before and could [redacted] just fine.

  • CDizz

    So did you guys just choose to skip the Sharks game recap? ‘Cause if so, I totally understand.

  • Ian


    Unfortunately, it was not intentional. That was actually the first gamer we’ve failed to do! Peter was unavailable that night and I came down with the flu. We’ll try to never have that happen again. Thanks for noticing. You’re truly awesome for catching that.