Rachel Cohen's Valentine's Day Card for Matt Bradley

RMNB’s own Rachel Cohen created this Valentine for Matt Bradley

In honor of Valentine’s Day and to drown your sorrows after the latest Caps loss, we asked our readers to submit their very own cards addressed to a Capitals player. And oh, boy, did you listen. We’ve included many of your submissions but have narrowed it down to five finalists. From there, you guys will vote to pick the winner, who will receive one of our lovely — no pun intended — t-shirts. Voting will last until Wednesday night at midnight. And FYI, some of these cards may be NSFW. Proceed with caution!


Vote For Your Favorite


The Top 5

Semyon Varlamov "Click On Me" Valentine

Stephanie C., clearly impressed by Semyon Varlamov’s rapidly expanding acting portfolio, brings out the hand love cursors with this Valentine for Varly.

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Sasha Minor

Reader John A. plays the role of a disappointed, yet encouraging lover in this personalized ditty for Sasha Minor. Our favorite line: “A Caps winning-streak you could start, but mostly, I wish you’d toe-drag into my heart.” Awwwwww.

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Bruce Boudreau Valentine

Our dear friends at Knuble’s Knights assure us that they didn’t make this card. They found it outside of the locker room at Verizon Center. Who could this mysterious B.B. character be?

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Matt Hendricks Valentine

Twilightxqueen7, brilliantly shows her appreciation for Matt Hendricks’s blind-folded antics in this Valentine’s Day Card. Steve Downie never stood a chance, right? Though we have to deduct some serious points for inappropriate language here, we felt this was definitely worthy of being a finalist. What do you think? Is this the one?

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Braden Holtby's Valentine Card

Jennifer B. actually hand-made this card for noted Holtby fan @WashCapsRock. Stunning.

Now that you’ve seen the Top 5, head on up to the top of the page and vote for your favorite!


The Best of the Rest

Bob M. totally copped-out and didn’t make us an original card. For shame! But what his submission lacked in effort, was made up for with its humor. His email entitled “The Count loves OV” aptly describes this youtube, and it… just… works.

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Brooks Laich Valentine

Lady Bug Ashley created this sweet card for Brooks Laich. Let’s be honest, the puffy paint typeface is impressively appropriate here.

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Caps Bromances

Brittney M.‘s Valentine pays homage to some of the stronger male bonds on the team. While the Ovechkin/Semin bromance is well-documented, Brit also shows her appreciation for Carlzner, the Swedes, and… Brookseen?

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Matt Bradley Valentine

Some dude named Peter H. thinks bulldogs love Matt Bradley. While that may be true, we think it’s Peter who #needsmorebradley.

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Valentine's Day Card for Jason Chimera

This card was submitted to us by an Anonymous reader. Who is Niel Breengerg and why would he ever want to apologize to Jason Chimera? Hmmmmmm.

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Abram Fox’s Valentine’s Day poem to the entire Capitals organization
In the style of Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s Sonnet 43 (“How do I love thee?”)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love you on Comast and Versus and on ice
Where my cheers can reach, when feeling out of sight
Stuck in the 400 level and thee in open space.
I love thee though masks obscure thy face
Covered in scars, missing several teeth.
I love thee freely, as McPhee looks for a decent
Right wing to complement two stars who need one badly.
Thanks to Facebook and Twitter put to good use
I love thee now that I know that I #needmorebradley.
I love thee with a love I started to lose
With Hanlon’s reign, when you sucked so badly.
I love thee in January when the Penguins you abuse
I shall but love thee better in June when you win Lord Stanley.

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Sasha Minor

Olga sent this from an .ru email address and swears she spent all day working on card. We’re sorry, but we’ve got to ask: why does Alex Semin look like the Statue of Liberty? Is that symbolism for something?

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Alex Semin Valentine

Long-time reader Paula also made a Valentine for the Great 28. Someone please put a shirt on him, ASAP.

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John Carlson Valentine

Danielle‘s Valentine seems to indicate she really, really loves our blog. ::high five::

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Nick Backstrom Valentine

Zachary P. gets a lil’ weird with this card for Nick Backstrom. Zach, there are filters in Photoshop other than just Inner Glow. Like Fresco. Get on that. :)

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DJ King Valentine

Greg G.‘s Valentine for DJ King focuses on the enforcer’s stunning good looks.

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Matt Bradley Valentine

Tari C., please don’t strike your child. She is really cute. Don’t make us call Child Services on you. (We’re kidding! Great photoshopping!)

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Neuvy Valentine

Katie A. submitted this card for Neuvy. Cuz’ he’s a boss.

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DJ King card

Jennifer B. also hand-made this card for the world’s biggest DJ King fan, @mildbestwishes. She should sell these at a craft fair. Wow.

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John Carlson Valentine

Danielle‘s Valentine for John Carlson was too adorable not to put up!

Monte Carlo Machine Valentine

And finally we saved our personal favorite for last. Knuble’s Knights decided to create a second Valentine, this time for Neil’s Monte Carlo Machine. We couldn’t stop laughing when we saw this.

Brilliant work, guys! A huge thanks to everyone else who submitted. Make sure to leave a comment below on whose your favorites were!

Additional reporting by Chris Gordon.

  • http://twitter.com/chris_gordon Chris Gordon

    You guys are awesome! Thanks so much to everyone who submitted!

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian

    I hate to say it, but my favorite Valentine was Bob’s youtube. I can’t stop laughing at it. EIGHT. EIGHT. EIGHT IS GREAT. IT MAKES ME SHOUT HOORAY!

  • Lindsey

    I wish I could vote for Bob’s, that was some admirable youtube research. Also, Olga is pretty talented with paint!

  • http://capslove.wordpress.com Dazey2

    I agree with Ian. The Count Youtube is kind of the best thing ever.
    Also, kind of sad I didn’t submit for this contest. I have mailed the Caps Valentines for the past few years, and they were awesome all the time. I wrote poems, sent in personal photos of myself and my hockey lovers, to remind them who I was, and more fantastic fan art. But no matter, I don’t need Valentine’s Day to show the Caps how much I adore them!

  • sgirls3

    I have to admit, I think Peter’s card should have been a finalist.

  • http://crzyjewishotaku.deviantart.com Rachel Cohen

    Not gonna lie, I love all these cards. C:

    I’m gonna have that Count song stuck in my head all day. And I’m okay with this.

  • Natasha

    Great work, everyone! I personally love Varly’s, Ovi’s Valentines and Bradley’s bulldogs :)

  • greta

    i really love the matt hendricks card, but i can’t, in good conscience, vote for it, based on the use of the comic sans knock-off, chalkboard… so the varly card it is. this was an awesome contest though! MOAR PHOTOSHOP CONTESTS PLZ.

  • zac

    i gotta say sasha minors is the best what craftsmanship!

  • arakakij

    Usually come in here felling depressed reading about what’s been going on with the Capitals… but today after reading this post I got a good chuckle out of all your creativity and art skills. Nice jobs y’all.

    @RMNB – thanks for this fun event – keep up the good work!

    p.s. I haven’t got my RMNB *free* t-shirt yet… I thought about wearing it when I go to the Caps home game next month.. oh well. :-(

  • deann

    Was mine too dirty? Matt Hendricks brings it out in me! Harrumph!

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  • http://make-lemons.com Michelle

    Hooray for such talented Caps fans!! :)

    Clicking on Varly cracks me up…. and Ice Cream for BB was pretty dang funny too…

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  • Knuble’s Knights

    Please tell me “Bob M.” is World-Renowned and Locally-Beloved Anthem Singer Bob McDonald (his official title; WRLBASBM for short). That would be too perfect.

  • http://capsnewnetwork.blogspot.com cnichols14

    Great job Caps fans! Guess I should be flattered that Lady Bug Ashley and Katie A. uses my photos.

  • http://singingfromthecrease.wordpress.com Mia

    Okay, so who do I sue for the busted gut and mental anguish caused by the pee in my pants because of your total disregard for the consequences to your visitors who still need ice packs to ease the swelling of the rib-bruising laughter brought about by these CAPS fans’ entries to a contest you decided would be a good idea?

    Matt Hendricks can do it “blind” (hee, hee, hee…OW…must stop laughing)
    CLASSIC – thanks for sharing everyone.

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