Some questions plague our summer months. We already addressed “who the heck is Alex Semin?” and eventually we’ll get around to “Dear God, what is Ovechkin wearing now?” Today, however, is when we ponder, “What’s going to happen to Brooks Laich?”
An unrestricted free agent as of July 1, Brooks Laich looks as good to GMs across the league as he does to pretty much every girl I meet it seems like. Second (perhaps) only to fellow UFA Brad Richards, BL21 will be a tasty morsel on the open market. He’s a player who makes everyone around him better, he’s a competent two-way forward, he works on both special teams units, he can take face-offs and he might be the most eloquent hockey player you’ll ever hear. Everybody wants him.
We’re worried. Every day we scour the feeds and tweets for an update on Brooksy. Has he signed a contract yet? Are other teams talking about him? We’re spazzing out over here.
So we created a website to track the matter…
Inspired by abevigoda.com, which dutifully reminds us that the beloved actor is not dead (as of press time); and hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com, which reminds us that science is cool and has not yet collapsed the space-time continuum, our site lets you know if Brooks Laich is still a Washington Capital player.
We’ll keep the site up to date as best we can — up to and beyond July 1.
When you wake up in the morning, you check there. When you’re playing with your iPhone in the bathroom, you check there. When you’re in the movie theater watching Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer, you check there covertly. Bookmark it on your iPad. Bookmark it on your friend’s iPad. Go the Apple Store and bookmark it on EVERY iPad.
As long as you see Brooksy’s smiling face, you’ll know everything is okay.
(And hey, how about a round of applause for Ian, who crafted this lovely and incredibly dorky website? He added the meta tag “heartthrob” without anyone telling him, I swear.)
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
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