Photo credit: John Russell

Doug Johnson of Puck Buddys sells his sword to Russian Machine. @PuckBuddys wants your tweet.

The Pre Game: “And here’s my theory of punctuation. At the end of every sentence there should be a tiny clock that shows you how long it took you to write that sentence.” – Laurie Anderson.

Watching Capitals games is becoming an existential exercise, based on the obscene, neutered device we call the clock. As in: Caps score first by the clock: we lose. Caps trail in the second by the clock: we win. Watch the game, watch the clock; we score first, we lose last.

Call me crazy. Call me late for dinner, but consarnit, the Caps are just not behaving by the clock. Headline from Saturday: Caps Lose, Broadside of Barn Safe! What went wrong? Coach Juggles’ shoot-out changes? The Caps total lacking D?  #BadSasha? #EvilSasha? #HailSatanSasha?

Here’s the thing: Caps, every time you take a lead and blow it, you smoke a tiny bit of our time. Think about that: every game you go forward at the first, only to surrender… you surrender a few minutes of our lives.  The clock is ticking. What will you do with it?

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Video: John Carlson’s New Hadeed Carpet Commercials

John Carlson Commercial

John Carlson ponders the next call-up for the Caps.

With Brooks Laich cornering local advertisements for windows and Alex Ovechkin being a spokesman for nearly everything else, rarely does another player on the Capitals get a chance to show off his acting chops.

Lucky for us, John Carlson — clearly a hot commodity after his incredible acting debut with Force 3 — recently inked a deal with Hadeed Carpet. Their two new spots debuted over the weekend on both Hadeed Carpet’s Facebook page and Comcast SportsNet.

Follow me past the jump as Captain America sells us on the finest wall-to-wall carpet cleaners in the area. SPOILER ALERT: Carlson doesn’t give anyone a pound this time. Sigh.

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