Winnipeg Jets Pregame: Now Boarding, ReSet Airlines

Doug Johnson, weaver of words, Puck Buddy. Connect with @PuckBuddys via a series of tubes.

The Puck Drop: Lesson – don’t waste all your good rival city bile in your first pregame post. You may get the hahas, but it doesn’t leave you much room for new jokes. Lesson: as we continue to repeat until GMGM hears us, there are two Caps teams. One team is Ninja Master, the other is Donkey Kong. There is no telling which will show up, and this must be fixed.

Lesson: do NOT write mouthy, taunting blog posts your team (or butt) cannot cash.

Lesson: if a team is going to win, it will win as a team. The Caps seem to have a hot-shot mentality of late; namely they play really well, until something unexpected happens. Not a first goal, as we seem to play better if we’re just one down, but a second, surprise goal. At that point you can almost see the shoulders schlump, the feet get leaden and the team lose heart, players scrambling to pump the sinking ship (almost like how and fans Verizon last night). Panic does not become a great team. Keep calm and carry on.

All of this is to say: we must be humble if we are to be great.

The Naughty and Nice List, Numero Tres

  • Naughty: Ho Ho Hughgh. We’re not piling on. We hate to say this. We have huge respect for him. But Tomáš Vokoun (SV .906%) said it best when he said Tuesday, “…I didn’t help my team.” Paging Dr. Sherlock, ‘No Sh-t Telephone, Please.’ Ugh, some of those – and it’s not just last night – easy squeakers just sailed through Vokoun’s grasp, 5 and 7 holes. Got to fix dat. And while we <3 him at least as much, Michal Neuvirth (SV .875%) hasn’t been behaving much better of late. Hey, it’s not like the Varlmonster is doing much better with the Avs…but. But GMGM, have you checked in with Braden “Hotby” Holtby of late? Criminy, what does he have to do? Pose with cute puppies??

  • Nice: We have had a man-crush on Jeff “Mayor of Awesome Town” Halpern (3G, 6A, +1) for, oh, I dunno….evah? He proved his worth once before with the Caps, and now is back, perhaps on his victory lap on his home turf. We suspect he’s got years of ice-time in his skates, but obviously we can’t know. We do know we wish we could be Halpy. He’s toasty on the ice, he’s camera-ready,seems like a great guy and he’s a Ginger. (Or, as the Spanish say, Cinnamon.) And he saved us from an ignominious (he went to Princeton, so he’ll know what that means) shut-out Tuesday. This cat is sugar and spice all wrapped up in a tasty rugelach. He gets extra gelt from us this Hanukkah.

Hot? Not? Discuss

This is our third flirtation with the Jets this season; once as they gobbled us up in the Black Hole of Winnipeg, and once when we jolted them here at home. We’re back in Winnipeg tonight.

Everything we’ve said before holds. There is, and I mean this literally, no place I’d rather spend the night than in Winnipeg. And I’ve spent nights in some of the world’s sh-t-holes. At 14-12 with 32 points, Winnipeg is beating us in the (soon to be extinct) Southeast division. That’s less a measure of their skill (sorry, Eric Fehr!) and more of our ineptitude.

There. We said it. Ineptitude.

Alex Burmistrov

We’re not posting hot or not tonight. At this point, our team is not deserving it, although perhaps the Jets are.

Winnipeg, at 10-4-0, does nearly as well as the Caps on home ice, and that for years has been a Caps strength. With players like Evander Kane, Kyle Wellwood, Dustin Byfugly and a passel of talented comers-on, and a recent 4-1 win record over some of the best teams in the NHL, they are a team that, frankly, deserves to win.

So Caps. Prove us wrong. Show your stuff and step up on your toes tonight. Or you will have to endure another taunting from a gay hockey blog riding shirttail on a site conceived in the idea of the invincibility of Our Russian Machine.

Meme of the Night:

  • Bobby Gee

    The Caps will play in Canada, and the Hunter-coached Caps are undefeated in Canada.  That has to count for something, right?  Or is it just the province of Ontario where Hunter’s mojo weaves its magic?  Let’s hope it translates all the way to Manitoba.

  • serpent

    Golly, Doug, you’re just about down to a whisper. I hope the tiptoe mojo works and we have something to scream about after tonight.

  • This is my face on humble.  We’ll soon be ready to unleash the scream.