Charmin Soft, Sabres beat Caps 4-2

Alex Ovechkin appeals to the ref. (Photo credit: Bill Wippert)

The Washington Capitals might have had too much figgy pudding, as their post-Christmas match-up with the Buffalo Sabres was one of their ugliest of the season. Maybe the worst.

Exactly how bad was it? So bad that we’re exercising The Option. The option is an obscure RMNB bylaw that allows us to not really write about a game because it was so wretched our primitive language cannot adequately describe it.

Roman Hamrlik wasted 9 seconds before sending the puck over the glass. Michal Neuvirth got pulled in the first because he was being a sieve. Unless being a sieve is a good thing, in which case he was NOT being a sieve. Mathieu Perreault impaled himself on his own stick, but he came back in time to leave his skates on a hit. Karl Alzner had a good view of three Buffalo goals. Brooks Laich won 7 of 19 faceoffs. Alex Ovechkin fired 5 shots. Dmitry Orlov won Palm player of the game for some reason.

The situation with the Capitals is dire. This team will not make the playoffs unless they make a significant course correction. Installing Dale Hunter hasn’t been enough. What do you think?

Our opinion: these guys are SOFT. Prove us wrong on Wednesday.

"Soft" by Ian Oland

“Soft” by Ian Oland, who is a grown-up.

Michal Nuevirth gave up 3 goals on 6 shots (Photo credit: Rick Stewart)

Alex Semin got high sticked by Brayden McNabb (Screen cap: @Valtard)

Joe B suit of the night

  • scrooge

    bah humbug.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Russian Machine Never Breaks

    P.S. that’s SNORLAX from PokeMon in net

  • http://www.facebook.com/bryantpthomas Bryant Thomas

    At least Snorlax knows when to wake up.

  • http://twitter.com/VeggieTart Danielle

    and the idiots calling the game for Buffalo (I was stuck with their feed, as I’m visiting the boyfriend’s mom in Albany, NY) were calling him PAIR-o instead of per-OH.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bryantpthomas Bryant Thomas

    I think there were some interesting calls throughout the night, and some unwarranted payback whistles, though the blame rests squarely on the team and not the officiating. Clearly, and despite any positive moves in the off-season and the hiring of Mr. Hunter, the caps are finding ways to fail. The fault now lies on the GM to answer the call to change the lineup. The best that can be hoped for is that Mr. McPhee didn’t overpay so much that under-performing players can still be moved. Let’s just say some people have been discovered to suck.

  • http://twitter.com/kat326 Rachel Cohen

    Snorlax is huge and blocks things from getting through paths. AND in the Pokémon comic, is one of Red’s best fighters. He stops a full-speed TRAIN.

    Ian, you’d have been better off using Bidoof. Or Magikarp. :|

  • http://twitter.com/dmatties Doug Matties

    For 40 minutes, this was a bunch of soft individuals.  For 20, it was a team that actually gave a crap.  Until these guys realize that playing 60 is the only way to get it done, they’ll be golfing in April. 

  • J.P.

    Last week I told my wife that these guys weren’t gonna make the playoffs. When she remarked that it’s still early, I replied that nothing I’ve seen so far this season leads me to believe that they can turn it around. To wit; they routinely get outworked, out-hustled, and out-skated. Despite the glaring obviousness of this malaise, it continues unabated. Occasionally you’re gonna get out-everythinged by another team. Shit happens. But. Not. Every. Freakin’. Game. Not making the playoffs might be a blessing in disguise for these puffballs. I’d expect them to get blown the fuck up, and with good reason. Oh, and lets stop calling these guys “talented” – you are what your record and your work ethic say you are. Their record and work ethic indicate that they’re mediocre at best, and unwilling and unable at worst. If they had half the work ethic as they supposedly have talent, they might just be a pretty decent hockey team. These jokers are a loooong way from anything resembling decent.
     
    All that said, I’d love to eat my words. Show me up, Caps. Prove me wrong, Caps. Make me eat crow, Caps. Show up for more than 1 period every game. Put together some back-to-back-to-back instances of testicular fortitude. Show me that you FUCKING CARE and show me that you aren’t a bunch of marshmallows on skates. Marshmallows end up roasted and eaten. Please don’t end up roasted and eaten.

  • Pattyo

    WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

  • http://twitter.com/thelastgoodnite greta arnold

    hear, hear.

  • Bobby Gee

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!  The old hockey cliche “Will trumps skill” is so appropriate here.  I’m been waiting for the Caps to show up for a full 60 minutes on a consistent basis, and continue to be disappointed.  This group, for all its so-called talent, goes long stretches showing little heart, little will, little giving a crap.  I’m beyond wondering how far they will get in the playoffs because, to be honest, they don’t look anything like a playoff team.

    Like you, I want them to SHOW ME I’m wrong.  I want them to wake up and smell the coffee.  They are getting too used to being mediocre, too used to being satisfied with just showing up.  On most nights their work ethic is atrocious, as in non-existent.  Where is the leadership, the pride in playing for one another?  They look like a collection of self-satisfied individuals with little if any resemblance to a  real TEAM.

  • rickvb

    We need to realize that this is a much, much bigger problem than one person, or we’ll never get anywhere. Chalking it all up to Boudreau was bullshit, because Dale’s struggling too. Calling it all on Semin is ridiculous, because we were shit when he wasn’t on the ice. And Ovechkin can’t be everything all the time. This is a broader problem and the sooner we step away from the scapegoat train and accept that, the sooner we can actually stop sucking.

  • serpent

    Put the whole damn team on waivers and call up the Bears. Bter yet, let’s just watch the Juniors where teams play as if they care,

  • serpent

    Bter should be” better”. Don’t want the Spelling Police on my butt.

  • Michael01a

    BB’s system is still somewhere in their guts.
    and is outbursting painfully in the most freaking way.

    Hope, that Dale will excorcise this soon with some fire and magical asskicks

  • Spelling Police

    Too late, citizen.
    You will get your grammar test via email. :)

  • http://twitter.com/SO_CAL_Brat Jenn Maxwell

    The only thing I could think of…..

  • Mark

    If Dale is the man for the job, then his system needs to be run. His system needs mobile, defensive-minded players with grit (mentioned in a tweet by @ngreenberg). When I think of the lineup, I can’t name many players that fit that description. Fact is, those players win you Cups and thus, are hard to come by. If Dale is our man, our lineup needs to change accordingly. Yes, we bicker all of the time about what we could get in a Semin trade, etc. At this point, I’d like to see ANYTHING happen. If we let a player go and they have a career year with someone else, fine. They weren’t going to do it as a Cap anyway. No regrets. Game after game of embarrassments needs to end.

  • Pingback: Mike Green Finally Returns to Practice

  • Pingback: Ovechkin Scores, Chimera Gestures in Caps 3-1 Win Over Sabres