Pittsburgh Penguins Preview: Pittsburgh Sadz

Doug Johnson of the Puck Buddys: he’s a sick puppy, but he soldiered through to give you this pregame. @PuckBuddys

The Puck Drop: So. This is what life drips down to. Tapping away at keys, like a pelican diving for shrimp, aiming at something but not knowing what it is. Of course, harhar, we’re so much more advanced than that mere animal; we shape existence and knowledge, don’t we, yes? And by doing so, we begin to understand our universe in its smallest parts, right? click click click goes the clock; tap tap tap drips the faucet; next next next go the hockey games.

It’s all just clockwork, no? Tick tick tick, lose lose; debate about the lines bliz blaz the numbers yub yub it all ebbs slowly away.

Oh brother, I can’t, I can’t get through. I’ve been trying hard to reach you ’cause I don’t know what to do. Oh brother, I can’t believe it’s true. I’m so scared about the future and I want to talk to you…

Pittsburgh Whirlpool End

We’re dispensing with the Hot and Not parade this day; in part because it’s played and in part because our CMS is acting like a gassy 6-month-old; constantly demanding things it doesn’t really want but still fussing at every moment along the way. We disappoint our RMNB overlords… and expect to be tilling the tundra soon enough. But reality is what it is, and the Caps are where there are [Ed note: more this Wednesday morning!]. As are, it seems, the Penguins.

Rarely have we seen a team so burdened by injury. Mike Green? Tom Poti?  Meh, you ain’t seen nothing. Feast your eyes on the ruins of Pittsburgh:

The Penguins have lost 5 games in a row. They’re missing their offense. Their fans are punching pregnant women. We sympathize with most of that.

Here’s Truth, If Y’all Ready To Hear It

Jordan Staal

We’re tired. The Capitals are tired. California is a place to play, not vanquish your opponent. We get that.

Truth? The Caps never fail to rise to the worst of opponents; especially the Penguins. We’ve had our larfs at the fat birds before, and will again in the future. Here’s what it is:

CAPS: Win
PENGUINS: Lose.

There’s nothing more we want or can say. Perhaps it’s the West coast/East coast time shift. Maybe it’s our idiot bosses (as in, those that pay us, not our boyfriends at RMNB.) Blame it not tonight’s full moon.

We’re done for the moment. Exactly the same position any team worth its gravy might be in. We understand. Not every night can be a Joe B suit of the night moment; you can’t always produce brilliant play. We just ask that you, as we have here, just get our there on your toes whether you feel like it or not and do your damndest.

Meme of the Night

  • Pattyo

    Hopefully Nicky plays. If he does, we can handle these guys and get the 2 much needed standings points!

  • Peter

    Not me. I hope he stays out as long as he’s unhealthy and then another couple of games. The guys that return from concussion early seem to have wretched outcomes.

  • Recinosej

    Wait…there’s two #15’s on pittsburgh? Ya got Paul Martin and Dustin Jeffrey listed as 15……

  • Peter

    IANNNNNNNNN

  • keamy

    Whaaat I thought Neal had a broken foot? I want some of whatever that guy’s drinking.

  • @adamkno

    Paul Martin is 7, kind sir. Your Pens correspondent shouldn’t have to point it out, especially the day after he posts a picture wearing a Paul Martin shirt. Ahem. ;-)

    Also, Craig Adams played last night. Not sure how, not that it mattered, but you can probably anticipate him taking up space on the penalty kill and the 4th line, likely with Arron Asham on one side.

    Brent Johnson got the start last night and was yanked. Simon Despres, called up for the sick-ass Paul Martin, left with an injury and didn’t return. 

    This is a delightful time to be a Penguins fan, when each game is like an Agatha Christie novel where you end up with one less than you started. Or like that story “The Lottery,” choose whichever is more familiar to you. The effort is there from a select few (see: Malkin, Evgeni), but we were frankly running around last night and doing a lot of watching rather than playing. I understand Ottawa has made some vast improvements, but the lethargy and palpable lack of urgency on display at times last night was just head-shaking material. And as depleted as we are, I wish Tyler Kennedy would just get hurt or leave town, ’cause I will never be a fan of that livestock-looking mess, no matter how hard he ‘tries’.

    And tonight, perhaps in a blessing, I’ll only watch some of tonight’s tilt because I have to take the ice around 10:15. Good luck to you asshats, and if you should somehow lose to us tonight (and, like, have Steve Sullivan notch the game-winner), you deserve all the trolling you may get.

    -AK

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Whoops! Copy and paste error. My bad.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Okay. It’s fixed now!

  • @CapsFans1921

    FCUK it all! The Pens are hurt, the Caps are hurt. And tonights game is for 8th in the East. No matter the state of this club we always seem to get up for them. With that there is something at stake. And both teams (or lack thereof) will show up tongiht! And wehen we awake tomorrow we shall be the victors!

    Go Caps!

  • Fitlanbox

    Really not trying to be part of the Doom and Gloom crew, but given that its a concussion, I think GMGM needs to start seriously thinking about making a move for a top 6 C.  Without 19, we literally don’t have one on the roster.  90 can do it, but at this point I think hes a season or 2 away from being a legit playmaker night in and night out and has looked better playing wing.  

    I hope to god Nick is back soon because this team is incredibly thin at C without him, but he needs to stay out until he is 100%, concussions are no joke.  Caps need to start thinking long term(as in remainder of season) without him, even if he does end up coming back.