Few jobs in the NHL suck more than Brendan Shanahan‘s. As the guy in charge of player safety, Shanahan has presided over 26 suspensions so far this season. Shanahan began publishing videos to document each infraction and provide transparency to a process that had been considered arbitrary in previous years.

I didn’t pay too much attention to supplemental discipline until this week, when Alex Ovechkin earned a three-game suspension for charging Zbynek Michalek. Ovechkin’s was the 10th three-game suspension of the year. With a big enough sample for comparison and Shanahan’s explanation for each, we’re finally able to peer into the underlying logic– and fairness– behind these rulings.

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RMNB Week in Review; Three is a Magic Number

Pic by Clyde.

This week, the Caps went 1-1-1 in 3 games with a loss against the Hurricanes, a win against the Boston Bruins, and a wild overtime loss against the Penguins that had a bit of fallout, to say the least. They were outscored 8-10 but managed to come away with 3 of 6 available points. The week also saw Alex Ovechkin suspended for 3 games, Mathieu Perreault scoring 3 goals for his first career hat trick, and hopefully saw the last strike of the 3-0 shutout boomerang for awhile. It was a crazy week to be a Caps fan, but when the dust settled, the Caps are sitting at 3rd place in the conference, and will stay there for the duration of the All-Star break. You knew you should have paid more attention to those lessons about foreshadowing in high school English class.

Elsewhere in the NHL, Tim Thomas snubbed the President, Antero Niittymaki wasn’t informed he was on waivers, Semyon Varlamov may have lost the Avalanche starting job for now, NHL should just rename it the Backup All-Star Game, and Evander Kane was accused of dining and dashing.

In case you were wondering the most important question–how does everything in the world apply to the Washington Capitals?–here’s a helpful guide to what’s terrible this week.

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