Photo credit: Suzanne Kang

Our friend Suzanne went to the Hershey Bears game this weekend, and this happened. I’m not sure we have the vocabulary to describe it, but here goes: It’s a Sidney Crosby-Alex Ovechkin mash-up shirsey, the holy grail of what Greg Wyshysnki would call a “jersey foul.”

In one way, it makes sense. This is a fan at a Bears game in Pennsylvania. The Bears are the farm team for Ovechkin’s Capitals, and Hershey is only a few hours away from Crosby’s Penguins. These are the two stars of the two big teams that matter to this person. It’s almost defensible.

But no.

This is wrong in so many ways, we had to bust out the bullets:

  • Canadian vs Russian
  • Center vs Winger
  • “Diver” vs “Dirty”
  • Internecine Patrick Division/Mason-Dixon connection
  • “Crochkin” not a very pleasant portmanteau
  • They haven’t even played one another in like 400 days
  • Numerous stitching concerns

All that aside, it’s also kind of admirable. It’s like shooting the moon in hearts or buying every Good Charlotte album. It’s so completely and unfathomably wrong that it approaches perfection. It is zen-like in its degree of chaos. It’s like a pretty little snowflake, unlike anything else in the word, and also someone peed on it.

Keep reachin’ for that rainbow, Crochkin. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

P.S. go to our brother blog, Sweetest Hockey on Earth, to learn exactly how much arse the Hersey Bears are kicking right now. 

  • http://twitter.com/PeaceCorps Peace Corps

    Numerous Stitching Concerns. *snoooort*

  • http://www.facebook.com/ambersmigiel Amber Smigiel

    Oh jeez, that’s what I get for reading hockey blogs at work. Ummmm. 

  • GovtMinion

    …My mind rejects it! Damn you, Crochkin!!!

  • Pattyo

     I was sitting a row above whoever was wearing that shirt……. WTF is all i could say, as i pointed it out to everyone around us!

  • Steven Kern

    I’d honestly like to know what happened to the other halves the original shirts.

  • Sam Wolk

    I had heard tales of this shirt when I was at the Hershey/Charlotte game on Saturday, but the photographic evidence makes the horror so, so real. May whatever higher power you believe in have mercy on your soul if you wear something like this.  It’s the unholiest of unholies.

  • http://twitter.com/CapitalsCenter Capitals Center

    Might be searching for something wrong here, but did they not play each other in the second game of Dale’s tenure? Not 400 days ago..

  • bailamos?

    This is quite unrelated to the thing that is gracing this post, but re: Sasha staring off  into the distance, lost in his thoughts, there’s some more of that in the Caps’ team photo video, on their website.

    Also featured: Troy Brouwer laughing a lot. Alex Ovechkin being creepily intense. Brooks Laich headbutting Mike Knuble’s shoulder…and more :-)

  • Anonymous

    This is like seeing a train hit a car.  I know it’s terrible, and yet I can’t look away.

  • http://twitter.com/kat326 Rachel Cohen

    Saw this on the Twitter at the Bears game, and all I could think is,

    No.

    Just… no.

    Because no. 

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

     Well said, Rachel! haha

  • RRR

    the “OVESBY” jersey anyone???

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

     That sounds waaaaaaaaaaaaay beter than Crochkin.

  • Hook

    This is the stupidest shirt I have ever seen!!!!! That guy should get in a fight with himself. 

  • Zack

    I totally saw this at the Bears game last Saturday and it made me want to vomit.

  • darkmeathook

    woman

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UC2NRTAM4UOKJ7OFVD44WQ4NYU Ethan S

    the fact that this point as well seems to be in question makes the photo that much more alarming.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Russian Machine Never Breaks

    WARNING: approaching upper limit of acceptable dickishness

  • http://twitter.com/kyle_mace Kyle Mace

    I’ve seen a few of theses at Bears games before. Not uncommon around South Central PA…

  • Savanna

     Sooo, does the front say Capiguins?  LOL Sounds like a pokemon.

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  • Sbae122

    HAHAHA!!!!! god this shirt is awful!

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