Montreal Canadiens Pregame: The Comebackstrom?

Photo credit: Patrick McDermott

Somehow, inexplicably, the Caps won on Thursday. It was a manic mess of a game, like something the Flaming Lips would do if they played hockey. In case your blood pressure is returning to normal and bowels are solidifying, here comes another cataclysmic hockey game to freak you out all over again.

While it’s unlikely Matt Hendricks will get another chance to paralyze another Sovereign Citizen in the skills competition, we’ve got a look to look forward to. How will Marcus Johansson follow up his two-point game? Will Alex Ovechkin tummy receive much-needed patting? How many shifts will it take before Jason Chimera does the Shawshank move at center ice?

And oh, is Nick freaking Backstrom backingstrom? All signs point to yesssss. The cosmic symmetry continues to manifest itself in hockey, as NB19’s big return might be against a team that contains the player who injured him. We’re talking about Rene Bourque, who looks like he has a little schmutz on his nose. Here, Rene, let Hendricks get that for you.

Not at Saturday’s game will be superfans Sam and Jenny. Their pal Ashley wrote to tell us how bummed they’ll be to miss the big game. Usually they’d be at Iron Horse or Rocket Bar rocking the red with a billion other people, but they goofed big time and accidentally schedule their wedding for Saturday. Whoops, guys. Best wishes from us at RMNB, and don’t screw up again.

Meanwhile…. The Canadiens, if you even care, are still a disaster. They’re waaaaay outside the playoff race, they just fired their general manager, and they can’t even spell Canadians right. How’s that for analysis?

How important is this game? Going by the current naming convention, it is Game Nine. A win keeps the team alive, a loss makes our party next Saturday at Front Page much less exciting. Buffalo and Ottawa are sitting just above the Caps  in the standings, like a bunch of bluenoses with their cocky strides and musky odors. It ain’t over yet.

Crash the net.

P.S. I’ll be at the game. 100-level because that’s how I roll. If you see me, say hi or just punch me in the face.

  • http://twitter.com/SageConfucius Kelli L. Greene

    Schultz should say ‘hello’ to Bourque. Too bad the Caps can’t sign Shawn Thornton away from Boston for a game.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bryantpthomas Bryant Thomas

    Well hopefully they’ll only get married once, so this won’t happen again.

  • Guestz

    Buffalo LOST to Pittsburgh MOFO!  Please update the pre-game accordingly, as we are now in 8th place. Thank the lawd JEBUS!

  • Tojohnson12

    LET’S GO PENGUINS *barfs*

  • Guestz

    gotta look at it objectively. i’d rather pittsburgh win and our season keep going than pittsburgh lose and our terrible showing on Tuesday haunt us until October. and forevermore.

  • serpent

    Ah, I doubt Sarge could fight his way out of a paper bag,hon. Where is DJ when we need him?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=692356341 Matt Mendelsohn

    >>Meanwhile…. The Canadiens, if you even care, are still a disaster. They’re waaaaay outside the playoff race, they just fired their general manager, and they can’t even spell Canadians right. How’s that for analysis?<<

    It's pitch perfect analysis. Thanks for making me laugh. The whole post was amusing. Wish the Post guys had this kind of freedom on the blog!

  • KareeLyn

    I tried coining “comebackstrom” a few days ago with friends and it didn’t take…  I feel vindicated now.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1262029985 Alison Latimer

    Well if you’re in section 109 (which is where I sat during the buffalo game) please wake those people up!  buy them drinks!  get them to yell!  Worst section I have ever sat in!  LETS GO CAPS!