Doubting Thomas

Craig Brownstein of the Puck Buddys gets you primed for Holtby vs Thomas. Follow @PuckBuddys …unless you hate smiles. You don’t hate smiles, do you?

So. Here we are. The Caps’ long, strange trip to the playoffs wasn’t easy, not by any stretch, and their first round opponent doesn’t look so easy either. We know what’s behind us – a roller coaster season of consistent inconsistency, and we know what’s ahead of us – the defending Stanley Cup Champions are big, physical, and chock full of talent. So this probably explains why hockey’s literati almost to the person predicts a Boston win for the series. We don’t put much stock in that, of course. We don’t because we’re homers. Homo homers to be precise.

We look at the Boston match up as a series of If – Then statements: If Ovi, Sasha, and Nicky fire, then we’ll be OK. If we can match them physically, then we don’t get pushed around. If our special teams perform, then we’ll have a real shot. If we put rubber on that creep, Timmy Thomas, get in his head and face, then we’ll score moar goals. If we crash the net, you know the rest. And it’s Timmy and his counterpart at the opposite end of the rink that we think this series revolves around.

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The Boston Bruins Are Absolutely Terrifying

Photo credit: Getty Images

By now, you’ve probably heard that the Caps should be afraid of the Boston Bruins. If you haven’t, the Bruins will tell you so themselves! Every once in awhile, there comes along a team that’s completely convinced that they are the Broad Street Bullies reincarnated, and who’s to say they aren’t? As we know, tough-guy posturing is an actual hockey skill, and the Bruins have been beating the Caps cold in this category all year, if not beating the Caps in many actual hockey games.

We’ve already profiled Milan Lucic, the power forward who is a known threat to players wearing twenty extra pounds of pads, but let’s take a look at the team as a whole, the schoolyard bullies of the NHL, the Cobra Kai to our Karate Kid.

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Might as well just give it to ’em now, right?

The good people on the Hockey sub-reddit did the legwork on this one. They tracked down all the articles from the last few days predicting which teams will win each season. The results are… unkind to our Capitals.

58 hockey journalists hazarded a guess about the Boston Bruins-Washington Capitals match-up. You can view the original data here, but check out our visualizations (cheesy pie charts) behind the jump.

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Watch Out For: Zombie Nation

For a while, earlier in the season, the Boston Bruins were amazing. Scoring was frequent and widely spread among the team (six of whom ended up with 20+ goals). And after every one of the team’s 131 goals at TD Garden this season, the song above played.

It is a remix of “Kernkraft 400” by Zombie Nation, although everyone just calls the song “Zombie Nation” because people are idiots. It’s from a genre of music known as “awful”, but folks who are nuts for categorization can file it under “techno music for people who positively demand a hangover tomorrow.”

And it’s an awful choice for a city that actually has decent music. Follow me past the jump and let’s peruse.

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