After the first two games of the quarterfinal round, Bruins goalie Tim Thomas is sporting a .964 save percentage, having stopped 54 of the 56 shots he has faced. Last season’s Vezina and Conn Smythe winner, Thomas has already had a successful follow-up campaign, earning a 35-19-1 record during the regular season. He is the calm core of Boston’s defense and a reliable presence to backstop the league’s third best offense.

But Thomas’s composure came somewhat unspooled on Saturday night. After a whistle, he punched the previously concussed Nick Backstrom, who ended up scoring the game-winner in double overtime. While Thomas escaped without the match penalty recommended in rule 51.3 for goalies who use a blocker pad to punch a skater, he has not escaped the attention and ire of the Washington Capitals and their fans.

Games Three and Four of the series will be played in DC, and we just figured out precisely how we will troll.

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Boston and the Bruins: Wicked Awful

This is what Swedish revenge looks like. (Photo credit: Mark Baer, US Presswire)

The playoff series gives Caps fans a chance to learn all about our rivals and the exotic places they come from. For the first of their Stanley Cup travelogue series, the PuckBuddys offer “How To Spot A Bruins Fan” and helpfully explain why living in Boston is worse than gargling with cat litter.  

The Geography of Bad: Let’s just put a few things on the table. Some cities are horrible because of where they are. Tampa comes to mind. Not quite poor enough to be swamp trash, not quite rich enough to be coastal, it’s the worst of Florida compressed into one atomically fetid spot. Or take Winnipeg. God help anyone who has to go to Winnipeg.

Other places aren’t so much insufferable because of where they are, but because of who lives there. Philadelphia, for example, where entire generations have refined the art of being over-privileged and grating. Dallas, which is just about all we need to say about that hole. Or pretty much the entire state of Arizona.

That said, there’s a whole special category of wretched for cities that, were the Lord truly merciful, He would just dump into the ocean and pretend it never happened. Can you guess which blighted dung pile is featured in this week’s list of awful?

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Dmitry Orlov Tries to Grow Playoff Beard, Fails

Click to enlarge. You know you want to.

I headed up to Arlington today to check out Caps practice. There wasn’t much news out of Kettler but that won’t keep us from trying way too hard to make some.

Twenty-year-old Dmitry Orlov does a lot of things well. He’s plays solid defense, can provide some huge blasts from the point, and is having an all-around fantastic rookie year. One thing, however, is not Dima’s forte: the playoff beard. Karl Alzner’s day job is safe, it appears. 

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In the second period of Game 1, Braden Holtby was whistled for roughing when he shoved Bruins’ forward Chris Kelly out of his crease. It seemed like a pretty tame play for the postseason, but the men in stripes intervened nonetheless.

Well, in the Caps’ Game 2 win against the Bruins, Tim Thomas decided to go medieval on several Capitals. Let’s review, shall we?

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