Though we often take shots at NBC coverage of Caps games, it’s playful ribbing of a shared suffering that all hockey fans endure sometimes. We are fully aware that there are worse fates, like being stuck watching on NESN with Jack Edwards commenting.

While Bruins fans seem to like him well enough, that’s not as much the case among fans of other teams, or those who value commentating that reflects what is actually happening on the ice. Case in point: Edwards’ radio appearance with WEEI after Game 3, wherein he describes a game and a series clearly occupying a reality separate from our own.

Edwards on Braden Holtby:

[The Bruins] did get more physical and they showed some creativity in getting puck to the front. They got guys there when they needed to, and they exposed Braden Holtby as a pretty good AHL goalie, which is what he is right now. He’s certainly not a top-flight NHL goalie.

On Dennis Seidenberg and his physical match-up with Alex Ovechkin:

What a stud this guy is. He actually relishes these incredible collisions with Ovechkin. They’re like the executive desk toy, the ones with the balls that you bang together, and they bang off in opposite directions. There have been at least half a dozen world-class collisions between those guys in the first three games, and Seidenberg comes away smiling saying yeah, this is really fun.

Edwards’ token “Dale Hunter was dirty” comment, plus suspicions that Dale may be spirit-walking in his players’ bodies:

Inevitably, teams reflect the personality of their head coach. There’s really no way around it in professional sports. You’re living together, in essence, every single day for six, eight, nine months at the time, someone’s tendencies tend to to wear off on you. Nicklas Backstrom has never done what he did, but he cross-checked Peverley right across the face, and you gotta suspend that, everyone is expecting him to get suspended for it. Hunter was one of the dirtiest players in NHL history. He was also one of those rare guys who was a very skilled, very dirty player, so that kind of masked his dirtiness. That’s like saying he was an assassin, but he was a really good shot.

The Shea Weber-Ovechkin connection:

The more difficult [disciplinary decisions] are for instance, the Shea Weber thing, because what a lot of people overlook was that Zetterberg ran Weber! We made mention of that last night, that Ovechkin at the end of the game ran Rich Peverley. There’s one second to go in the game, the puck is 200 feet away from where Washington needs it to be, and Ovechkin, instead of going in and trying to find the puck in his skates — he didn’t clobber him, but he hit him pretty hard above the waist, totally unnecessary to do that kind of thing. So Shanahan is in a tough spot.

On Brad Marchand and his diving:

I didn’t like the way he exaggerated the last time he went down, I can’t remember the exact instance of it, but I remember saying that it looked exaggerated. Marchand is tough player, and he is a guy who’s not afraid to go into any situation, but the referees know that as well, and he doesn’t need to embellish anything. He earns the number of power plays that he puts the Bruins on with his toughness, his aggression, and his willingness to get his nose dirty and/or broken. I don’t like the embellishment even a little bit, I think it detracts from the way the Bruins play. I don’t know if anyone spoke to him about it today, they didn’t skate, or if they’re going to talk to him about it tomorrow, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.

On the Caps’ discipline:

I think perhaps the most compelling dynamic of last night’s game, is that if you look at all three games, the Bruins have been getting better, and Washington has not been getting better. Washington came out locked down, loaded in Game One, and the Bruins really didn’t know how to bust into that hardened bunker, if you will. But the Bruins have been figuring that out, and they have been getting more and more physical, and I’m pleased at the lack of discipline shown by Washington.

The lack of discipline shown by Washington may be an indication that they are beginning to crack under the pressure the Bruins are bringing to bear.

Thanks to CSN Washington, let’s take a look at all the times the Capitals have cracked under the Bruins’ intense pressure.

Sigh. We like “New Jack” Edwards much more.

Part 2

Additional reporting by Ian Oland.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-Murphy/669060651 Ryan Murphy

    that dude really should try using a toothbrush once in awhile

  • Bestpilotonearth

    Edwards is an incredible Douche. Unlistenable. Watched game three in Boston (after going to 1 and 2) couldn’t believe that he gets paid for spouting BS like a drunk moron at a Boston sports bar. Or maybe I’m wrong and Lucic is a saint and the best player in the world.

  • Joel W

    there is pretty much absolutely nothing right in this

  • http://twitter.com/BenScarbrough Ben Scarbrough

    This man’s teeth are yellow

  • ItsAnEthos

    The real debate now is whether Jack Edwards is worse at his job than Larry Michael is at his. Either way, the two might be the worst the sports play-by-play world has to offer.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    If you haven’t already, you guys should listen to the “New Jack” video at the bottom of the post. It’s truly hilarious.

  • http://www.facebook.com/iamthemole Dario Moran

    My understanding of Fenwick and Corsi is very weak, and I’ve yet to read an article on it that doesn’t confuse me with it’s wording. Am I to understand from those charts and the context in which they were linked that a higher +Fenwick and +Corsi is a bad thing?

    Can somebody clarify this?
     

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    you guys are mean

  • KareeLyn

    Free that puppy.  

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    The higher your team’s Fenwick/Corsi, the better.

    They’re both possession stats, expressed as positive or negative numbers.

    You calculate Fenwick for a single player, you add up all his team’s shots, misses, and goals while that player is on the ice– and then you subtract the sum of the other team’s shots, misses, and goals while he’s on the ice.

    If you want Corsi, you add blocks into the equation.

    If the number is high, that player is “driving possession” or “tilting the ice.” If  it’s a negative number, the other team is dominating.

    Hope that helps!

  • http://www.calacirian.org sonja n a

    Well … alrighty then … he has an interesting perspective … for someone who lives on Uranus. ;-)

  • JustinC71

    I’d hate to see what he’d say about Fluery or Ilya…

  • http://twitter.com/3GBcanada 3GBcanada

    Here’s a few more to add to the list. 

    http://youtu.be/wbShxQyu1gM?t=7m3s

  • Jeremiah

    holy hell that is what jack edwards looks like. he should be the new spokesperson for abstinence, i have seen burn victims that are more pleasant to look at. when i hear him call a game i’m not sure i’m watching hockey or wwe

  • http://twitter.com/VeggieTart Danielle

    What a prize ass.  I hope Holtby goddamn stones the Bruins tomorrow.

  • Goosegoose35

    Honestly, do not take anything Jack Edwards takes seriously. He is the worst homer in all sports. I have to listen to him every game. I find him funny but he is just plain restarted. Andy Brickley is the man however. I give Jack credit, he will make you laugh, even if it is at his stupidity. 

  • Aquafresh

    How about some teeth whitener…

  • serpent

    A lot of idiotic spouting by a hockey player wanna be. Kind of fits in with his team, though.
    What in the h*** does Dale’s record have to do with today’s games? Does he have a wayback machine to project his earlier self into our guys? I’m glad Boston got stuck with this jerk.

  • rain falls

    LOL 

  • rain falls

     LOL

  • capsfan4life

    What series, exactly, is he watching?

  • Colin

    There is only one antidote for guys like Edwards. Beat the Bruins silly and he’ll climb back into his hole. Whatever he says will be meaningless if we win. 

  • CapsFan

    He has an AHL-quality dentist, yikes.