The biggest jinx since the Oil Painting. (Photo credit: Ted Starkey)

On Monday– many, many hours before the Capitals and Rangers took the ice for Game Five– the New York Rangers sent out an email encouraging its fans to buy tickets for the Eastern Conference Finals. But they left out one tiny little detail: they haven’t made the finals yet.

While we understand the need to sell tickets, this overdone graphic — which shows half the team doing a stick salute in Narnia or something, is pompous and ludicrous. The New York Rangers have lost their last two playoff series against the Capitals. You’d think they’d know better.

Someone in the Capitals organization should print this out, pin it on the team’s bulletin board. Put it in the filing cabinet under eggs, counted, not yet hatched. This is taunting the hockey gods of the highest order.

Monday, after the Rangers won in overtime, streamers fell from the ceiling of Madison Square Garden, which has been their customary celebration after victories. The exploding fireworks were so loud that Pierre McGuire and Marc Staal’s post-game interview was marginally more incoherent than it would have been anyway.

It reminds us. Schoolyard bullies are the loud kids. They gloat because they are insecure. They are insecure because they are weak.

I’m going out on a limb, but I’m gonna do without Photoshop or special effects. Caps in Seven.

Rangers fans should buy their tickets for Saturday’s game now. They should get to say goodbye to their team in person.

Photo via @thenyrangers.

  • Eugene Krabbs
  • breed16

    Caps in 7.

  • Priscilla

    My god…that oil painting. My favorite is Knuble.

  • Jessica

    Those oil paintings are making me laugh out loud. Like, chuckle, chuckle, actually out-loud laughing. Hilarious.

  • mike

    “Someone in the Capitals organization should print this out, pin it on the team’s bulletin board. ”

    I think a sign saying, “Keep your sticks down with less than a minute to go.” or “Don’t be afraid to win a face-off.” might be more effective.

  • MKH

    I sure hope you’re right. I went to bed feeling a little sick last night. I do believe in my Caps… No more stupid penalties, please. It is do or die time boys.

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  • Yv

    I usually enjoying reading RMNB but then I read recently the title that included phrase about whether Ovi would be suspended??? Why you put this very questionable call, that league even didn’t take for consideration, as a title? It sounded like you are belong and support NY teams and their whining, which surely is not true?
    And, secondly, I thought that you are more or less technically proficient site, so I’m surprise to see for almost a week that by some reasons it is now impossible to see, read and post comments while using Chrome browser. Is it your preference that people should use Firefox or IE to read all your content or you simply are not aware about this problem with Chrome browser?

  • Cranford93

    Stop crying, it’s a business, BTW Russianmachineisbroken! LET’S GO RANGERS!!!!!!

  • http://twitter.com/CapsBN92 ßяøõкэ Иэłšøи

    Ahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahaha. I’m done now.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5X4P2K7AJ4JPPL5PGFIJ6HEMUU Andrew

    I’m sorry, does it hurt you deep in your soul to have lost so suddenly when it looked like you were about to win? Have Brad Richards and Marc Staal taken all your sweet, sweet grapes and turned them sour overnight? I’m so sorry for you. Maybe you should cry about it. Because it’s so bizarre and uncommon for teams to sell playoff tickets in advance. Hell, when the Mets actually were playoff-bound, you could buy World Series tickets before they played a single game.

  • http://twitter.com/jbarrett020 Jeff Barrett

    Calm down, its not like the rangers players put this together or the coaching staff. We all know the owner dolan is basically only concerned about money. As a ranger fan, we know this series isn’t over.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Yv,

    What extensions are you using on Chrome? There are some that disable javascript or force https and can lead to trouble with comments.

  • http://niceproduce.com/ karl

    Truth. It’s a great series. Don’t take it out on the fans or the team. We’re all battling for the same prize, ignore the hype!

  • Marc Staal

    This is the worst article I have ever seen. Are you really that pathetic? Rangers in 6…Glad I bought my ECF tickets yesterday :)

  • Garts2point2

    Proof that anybody can write a blog. Even when he knows absolutely nothing about the subject.

  • Mike Francesser

    Yeah it’s definitely frustrating to have your heart broken like that but show a little ability for logical thought. Teams put playoff tickets for the next round up for advanced sale all of the time. It doesn’t mean the Rangers think they’ve won the series, it’s business. If you think the stick salute (something plenty of other teams around the league have adopted) is stupid how do you think the rest of the NHL feels about that ridiculous air horn?

  • Manny

    Have the Washington Capitals not started pushing their (L)Eastern
    Conference Finals tickets yet? That’s a shame. A real loss in a huge
    chance for marketing for your small market team. It is odd to me that
    the Caps would not be pushing their tickets already, especially to their
    season ticket holders, given the excessive amount of Blackberries and
    “Hockey-sweaters-over-business-shirts” I see in that
    “New-Jersey-Devils-Red-Sound-Enhanced” arena that the Capitals play in.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    (jokes)

  • Carl Hagelin

    I love that the article criticizes the Garden for having fireworks and
    being loud. This from an arena that pipes in music to make their crowd
    seem larger, louder and generally more interested in (not confused by)
    the game than they are.

  • Ovechkinlefthisfeet

    This is a fairly standard practice for all teams in the league and in sports. I don’t understand how this is going to motivate the Caps.

  • Keith Hernandez

    Oh man. The Mets. Thanks Tom Glavine!

  • rhino40

    a stick salute in Narnia or something

    ROTFLMAO, Ian…but–arrogant New Yorkers that they are–they left the ham-handed main Evangelical subtext of the whole series: The Lion Is Jesus. Not Lundqvist.

    Well, we have our lion, Rangers. And he is…

    The Red Jesus

    GO CAPS!!!!

  • Tissue4yourissues

    Cause the Rangers haven’t used that stick salute pic for seemingly everything they’ve done this year. Way to let some young moron write a blog and let his emotions spill over into it. Guess the Capitals won’t be aligning themselves with this well run blog anytime soon

  • Ethan77

    Come on, guy. This is a business tactic, nothing more, nothing less. I’ve seen a lot of these attempts to villainize the Rangers, by bloggers, posts that go to reddit/hockey and even Leonsis’ blog entry about his trip to MSG, where a Ranger fan came up and swore at him. Which if he truly wanted to take the real high road on, he never would have mentioned it. Does there always have to be a villain and a good guy? Can’t two good teams just battle it out and we’re all the richer for being able to watch such compelling games? I guess that’s me just being naive huh? Oh well. But if Caps nation really wants something to be concerned about after yesterday’s game, they should probably look to this: http://imgur.com/a/9PWPG

  • The Kettle

    Not sure what the excitement is all about. Caps fans have been selling ECF and Stanley Cup Finals tickets on Stub Hub for some time now. Is that arrogant?

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland
  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    There’s a difference between Capitals season ticket holders selling their own tickets privately on Stubhub and a franchise promoting and encouraging their fanbase to buy individual tickets to a series that hasn’t started yet. The Capitals have not put up any individual tickets up for the next round at any point during the playoffs. So your characterization of the situation is wrong. http://www.ticketmaster.com/search?tm_link=tm_homeA_header_search&user_input=&q=Washington+Capitals&search.x=0&search.y=0

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Funny. You do realize you root for a franchise that has a diver as a captain, once employed Sean Avery, and is paying Brad Richards more than any other NHL player this year. Right?

  • drdiabetezx66x

    Maybe the Capitals don’t have the fan base the Rangers have…this gives fans (real fans) an opportunity to get a hold of a potential eastern conference playoff game before they go on sale to the general public. Teams have done this for ages. Semifinal tickets were on sale before the Ottowa series concluded. Tickets are always sold a series a head of time!
    As for the streamers and fireworks, MSG is partnered with Party City, so they have a hand in…oh yea streamers! Although a bit over the top, this is Broadway, not D.C.! Maybe gunshots behind the Verizon Center are a bit more in-line with your city, but not ours!
    It’s funny how this is the thing that Caps fans are focusing on instead of a way to beat Henrik Lundqvist for more than 2 goals and how to get more than 20 shots in a game…
    The proof will be in who wins the series, not whose owners and management decide what to post on the internet in the form of ticket sales and what falls from the ceiling.
    So suck it up Caps fans! You had game 5 won, but dumb penalty, amateur goaltending, lost faceoffs, and the will of a NY Rangers team which has done this all season beat you in the last 2 minutes of the game. Move on!
    But I do guess that is kind of tough when the Caps have choked the last handful of years in the playoffs…

  • drdiabetezx66x

    While the lower seats that are shown on TV boast movie stars and businessmen and women, the general crowd is much more knowledgeable than most. How does music make the crowd seem larger? There is 18,000 plus there every night for the past 20 years, always sold out. Talk about the play on the ice instead of what’s going on around it.

  • Mark Messier

    The capitals also are advertising tickets for the conference finals because you don’t start selling tickets after you move on. You plan ahead. It’s called business but nice attempt at a blog midget dick

  • Matt

    Diver as a captain? Man you must have never watched a Rangers game before this series. No one considers Cally a diver. Continue with your ignorant, uneducated blog posts.

  • http://twitter.com/Bavoo Joe Bavuso

    Over react much? Um…they are selling tickets. It’s a business. Maybe they should go on sale…um…the night they MAY clinch. Oh, and I didn’t know Dolan coached and GM’s the Rangers. **SIGH**

  • http://twitter.com/Bavoo Joe Bavuso

    *GM’d

  • Caps fan in Queens

    Must have touched a nerve, Ian! There’s an old saying – “If you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, the one who gets hit yelps.” Or in this case, instead of a pack of dogs, it’s a bunch of loudmouthed, newly-minted Rangers “fans” who came sliming out of the woodwork as soon as the Rangers started winning (in the playoffs, that is – the majority of these folks are nowhere to be seen during the regular season. Oh, and they also go dead silent – or boo their own team! – when they’re not winning, so we have that to look forward to also!)

  • http://twitter.com/Bavoo Joe Bavuso

    Rrright…cuz fair weather fans find obscure opponent blogs on which to post comments. Yet another, **SIGH**

  • Up3to2andThatsWhatMatters

    And it’s funny that they bring up their prior success against the Rangers….considering that Washington has been the most underachieving team in hockey for the past 5 years.

  • drdiabetezx66x

    Why would WE, the fans, be on this blog during the season? I didn’t know this trough even existed before this blog was written. It takes real talent to write about a team’s promotional tactics instead of the play on the ice. It’s funny how Caps fans, which only became fans once Ovechkin was drafted, talk about fair weather fans. If we weren’t real fans, than why would we be on this shitty blog? Get a clue.

  • Caps fan in Queens

    I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt, because the idea of actual long-time Rangers fans STILL posting such butthurt comments on “obscure opponent blogs” the day after a win is just… hilarious and sad beyond belief.

  • The Kettle

    I see…
    Corporations do it = ARROGANT
    Individuals do it = OK
    Don’t get caught up in semantics. Niether reflect the attitudes of the teams. If you think the Caps need to use this as motiviation, guess what? They already lost.

  • The Kettle

    Actually, it’s more like mild amusement that this is worth posting on a fan blog site..
    And for being a Caps fan in Queens, I’m surprised you don’t know Rangers fans better.

  • Mike Francesser

    Funnier. Your “captain” can’t even play the system that the coach wants to use and as such isn’t on the ice for the most important minutes of the game. It’s hard to win without leadership, and this has been sorely lacking in this “Russian machine” for some time now.

    Yeah. Brad Richards…totally not worth it. I mean what has he done lately?

    Seriously, you’re embarrassing yourself.

  • KarlHungus

    U mad bro?

  • Chris

    This article is disgraceful

  • Max

    Oh for the love of…BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE, TROLLS!

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  • The Kettle

    Yes, because no long-time Caps fans would ever do such a thing.
    The only reason I know about this article is a Caps fan posted it on a Rangers blog…get over yourselves. Hockey fans are hockey fans…that’s what makes the playoffs that much more fun. In the past we could only argue with Devils or Islanders or Flyers fans in the playoffs because of proximity. Now there is no proximity limit…this will happen on both sides no matter what 2 teams are playing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/anthony.torres.3705 Anthony Torres

    I love how you say that “bullies are the loud kids” and that “they gloat because they are insecure” when your team plays in the self-proclaimed ‘Loudest Building in the NHL’ and prominently features one of the flashiest and boastful players to play the game. Not that he doesn’t earn the right to be, but I don’t recall Brad Richards pretending his stick was on fire, even though he is a Conn Smythe winner. You should check your article for hypocrisy sir.

  • http://capitalspirit.wordpress.com/ Capital Spirit

    Oh, really? The Capitals aren’t advertising tickets to the Eastern Conference Finals. last I heard.

    In all fairness, the Rangers, as the 1 seed, would have very little turn-around time once this series is over; the 7-seeded Caps, if they advance, would have all of Games 1 and 2 to move ducats for Games 3 and 4. So the Rangers do have some justification in trying to move ECF tickets a few games too early.

    It’s still presumptuous to a fault. I think I still have a Carolina Hurricanes playoff ticket presale graphic from 2008 saved up somewhere.

    Karma’s a female canine…

  • http://twitter.com/Dara_Laine Dara Goldberg

    Made me LOL IRL

  • Theresa

    Did you forget we beat your NYR team the last two times we have faced you in the playoffs and we will do it again this year!! It ain’t over till the fat lady sings and she will be singing at your funeral on Saturday!! By the way our amateur goalie is out playing your all-star, hall of fame, vezina trophy nominated goalie!! And not all teams sell individual tickets to the next series or even within a series until the games are guranteed, hence the Capitals who didn’t put Game 6 tickets on sale until they won Game 4!! Hope ;you team enjoys their tee times next week and their extended summer while the Caps will be in the ECF!!! CAPS IN SEVEN!!

  • Zack

    What’s all this “we” business? None of you people are on either team!

  • Shawn

    Wait, so you’ve just recently become a Capitals fan?

  • Mike Francesser

    The capitals weren’t up 3-2 in a series last I heard.

    #hockeynovicefail

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5X4P2K7AJ4JPPL5PGFIJ6HEMUU Andrew

    I’m pretty sure that I don’t root for the Penguins, Sean Avery was the man, and Brad Richards just tied the game on you with six seconds left when you thought you were about to win. But do go on. You’re making yourself sound oh, so intelligent.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5X4P2K7AJ4JPPL5PGFIJ6HEMUU Andrew

    By the way, Ovechkin dives with the best of ‘em.

  • Road worrier

    Believe me, no one is happier than NBC and even the NHL itself about the Rangers edge in the series. I am sure the officials are being told to go easy on NYR. NBC can’t afford a Wahington-Phoenix Coyotes Cup Final

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  • Scott C

    Hope the Caps shove this in their face, the Rangers organization is run by a bunch of dickheads, the streamers and fireworks are beyond tacky. If they do win, I promise you guys that the Devils will destroy them for you

  • Scott C

    the Devils didn’t advertise tickets for the finals until they finished off the flyers

  • Da Boss

    That’s the way the NYR run their business. None of the other playoff teams did the same. It had nothing to do with the quick turnaround. Of course info is sent to season ticket holders but the rest of the remaining tickets were on Ticketmaster prior to Game 5. Isn’t the typical NYR fan’s biggest argument, “we have such great & plentiful fans?” Why are they so worried about selling the remaining seats? Their ownership already took heat for pushing Knicks Linsanity playoff tickets & then admitting Jeremy Lin was injured. If you believe this won’t turn up as bulletinboard material, you’re fooling yourself. And if you DON’T admit Callahan is a diver, you are either blind or lacking a viable brain.

  • http://www.facebook.com/adammmichelinjr Adam Michelin Jr

    Gee, your not too biased are you. I am quite sure the caps are selling tickets to the conf finals as well. Just smart business.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    you’re

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland
  • Alex

    Hey Ian:

    Oops.