2011-12 Year-End Review: John Carlson


Photo credit: Elise Amendola

The real question is, which is the real John Carlson? Was it the John Carlson who stumbled through the regular season, seemingly unfamiliar with the concept of ice hockey? Or was it the solid young defenseman that showed up in time for the playoffs, once again becoming one of the mainstays of the Capitals’ blueline?

For all our sakes, we are hoping it is the second. Sophomore year is over; it’s time for John Carlson to come out of the slump.

Cap Hit: $845,833. Carlson is RFA on July 1st.

Milestones: Carlson was on ice for 100 goals against in the regular season.

Best Moment: This lovely wrister against the Rangers:

Things We Said About John Carlson: “Could someone please bring back the real John Carlson?” “Oh never mind, we found him.”

Alignment: Chaotic Evil (Regular Season) / Lawful Good (Playoffs)

First Irrelevant Google Images Result:

John Carlson is a pretty common name, we take it.

Media Consensus: “John Carlson is… struggling a bit.”

Alternate Universe Superhero Identity: Captain America ®. (We owe Marvel a nickel.)

Spirit Animal: A frog.

Photo credit: Tim Koch

Team Role: Carlson was expected to face tough competition and tough minutes every night alongside Karl Alzner, and keep opposing top lines contained while occasionally chipping in some offense of his own.

Execution of that Role: John Carlson’s regular season was a horror show. We wanted to trust him with the minutes he held down brilliantly last year, but that got a little unnecessarily exciting. Led all players in YellingAtMyTV/60. It is important to note here, though, that Carlson played a full season of hockey while also starring in two movies this year, “Captain America” and “The Avengers”. We feel that earns him a little slack.

Postseason Performance: Carlson won us back over again in the playoffs, leading the D in hits, shots, blocks, and overall scoring, really seeming to heat up by the Rangers round with two goals in three games. We assume that he hit his head and remembered that he was John Carlson, sterling young defender, and immediately went to work.

Beard Rating: 

Carlson has the bad luck to come alphabetically after Brouwer. Four out of ten.

Likeliness to Return: Nine out of ten. Carlson is RFA, and Alzner helpfully set the bar for his salary by allowing GMGM to charm him into signing for peanuts. We’re hoping Carlson’s agent is just as susceptible. According to Elliotte Friedman, he could be a possible Norris contender someday — we’d like it if he was still in a Caps uniform when that happened.

Usefulness in a Post-Apocalyptic Setting: Could be very helpful, but we’d feel a lot more comfortable if Karl Alzner came along, too.

Overall Year-End Rating: Five Good Sashas

For statistical analysis of Brouwer’s season, see Japer’s Rink or Peerless Prognosticator.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/erik.visted Erik Visted

    the frog is perfect

  • http://twitter.com/VeggieTart Danielle

    That’s the thing about Carlson; he really needs to be paired with Alzner to be truly effective.

  • serpent

    ? What am I missing here?

  • SO_CAL_Brat

    I’m not sure if I YelledAtMyTV more because of Carlson or Wideman. Tough season. I’m pretty sure he scored more goals for the other team than the CAPS. Not what I expected but I definitely don’t think he’s done. In general a few of our players’ games tend to sag because being in DC is a big fat distraction. Some guys shake it off and get back to the game, some don’t. Carlson will be fine. We went through this sort of slump with Green. He’s going to be back stronger than ever and will likely contend for the Norris.

    I absolutely love the Carlzner pairing. It’s like a dream team with those 2 on the ice and their boy Holtby locking up the house.

  • SO_CAL_Brat

    Not quite sure I get the frog thing either. Why the frog?

  • scott

    Still going through with Green.

    He needs to be paired with Alzner because Alzner is a great defensemen but carlson is well not. A better 2 way defensemen would be take a lot of pressure off Alzner. But they are going to resign him anyways to a 1 or 2 year cheap deal hopefully nothing much more than 1.5-2 mill per year.

    I’d still, at the moment, take Orlov over either Green or Carlson just cause it doesn’t take the playoffs for him to realize he needs to play even average.

  • PuckBuddyDoug

    Carlson’s spirit animal is clearly, undeniably, Towlie.