2011-12 Year-End Review: Mike Green

Photo credit: Greg Fiume

The Caps had to manage without some of their stars, who were sidelined with suspensions and injuries at times throughout the season. Among them, there is one star they’ve already learned to make do without. We have seen Mike Green at his best, we’ve seen him put together a dazzling 82-game season. But unfortunately, since he’s been playing in the NHL full-time, we’ve only seen that once.

Cap Hit: $5.25 M. Green is RFA on July 1st.

Milestones: Mike Green played a career-low 32 games this season.

Best Moment: His return to the ice (we went overboard), and his Game Four GWG against the New York Rangers in the second round.

Things We Said About Mike Green: “We feel confident that Mike Green is going to start scoring again any minute now!”

Alignment: Neutral Good

First Irrelevant Google Images Result:

Credit: speedforce.org

Media Consensus: “Let’s discuss Mike Green’s groin!”

Spirit Animal: The cast of Jersey Shore.

Alternate Universe Superhero Identity: Game Over Green

Team Role: At his best and in one piece, Mike Green can be a game-changing offensive defenseman, contributing to puck possession and overall scoring.

Execution of that Role: Unfortunately, we didn’t get to see Mike Green at his best and in one piece very often. With Green in the lineup, the Caps jumped out to a blazing 7-0 start, but he was quickly sidelined with an ankle injury, and then a groin injury, and a subsequent abdominal injury. After surgery, Green was able to return to the ice and stay there, but he never seemed to regain his scoring touch. Regardless, this season was less about Mike Green versus NHL than it was about Mike Green versus his body, and we were glad he was able to get back into playing shape near the end of the year.

Postseason Performance: Green played every game of the playoffs for the Caps, scored twice, and was defensively responsible as well. It wasn’t quite the incarnation of Green that we are used to seeing, but we’ll take it.

Beard Rating:

Photo credit: Cheryl Nichols

Six out of ten. As always, an extra point for the hair.

Likeliness to Return: Since Green is RFA, it will largely be up to the Caps’ front office to decide if Green still fits into their plans going forward. Green should probably take a pay cut based on performance, but if the Caps don’t make him a qualifying offer equal to his 2011-12 salary, they will lose his rights. Six out of ten.

Usefulness in a Post-Apocalyptic Setting: Mike Green would be Patient Zero, the epicenter of the zombie apocalypse.

Other: During his time off-ice, Mike Green was a bottomless well of twitter non sequiturs.

Credit: glitterazzi.com

He may have a future in sportscasting.

Overall Year-End Rating: Seven Bad Sashas

For statistical analysis of Mike Green’s season, see Japers’ Rink or Peerless Prognosticator.

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  • John Erskine

    Did you guys forget Erskine?

  • Ana

    Erskine is coming later, along with a few other players!

  • They probably wanted to get to Holtby as soon as possible, lol
    Also, i totally agree on his spirit animal, hahahahahahahaha

  • allie

    Best tweets ever(: definitely going to use the applesauce one! and my brother and I have a handshake that ends with break the pickle, tickle tickle! coincidence…i think not.

  • Livia

    Ana’s covering all the important questions about each of our Caps. The segment “Things we said about …” is especially pithy and satisfying. Please keep these year-end reviews coming!

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