2011-12 Year-End Review: Dennis Wideman

Photo credit: Clydeorama

If we were reviewing Dennis Wideman‘s season before the All-Star Break, or even in March, this would be an entirely different story. We’d talk about his almost-hat-trick, his stellar offense, his first All-Star Game. We still talk about all of those things, but there is a lot more yelling — because unfortunately for Dennis Wideman, the playoffs happened.

Cap Hit: $3,937,500. Nice round number. Wideman is UFA on July 1st.

Milestones: Wideman was elected to the NHL All-Star Team for the first time in his career, which mostly went on to serve as a source of puzzlement and punchline later.

Best Moment: The almost-hat-trick. In a game in December, Wideman appeared to score three goals, but later insisted he had not and asked for one goal to be reviewed. It was indeed not his goal, but Brooks Laich’s. This display of honesty led me to photoshop my second creepiest image of the season.

Things We Said About Dennis Wideman: “Hey Dennis Wideman, what are you doing?” “Dennis, you may want to rethink that thing that you’re doing.” “DENNIS EARL WIDEMAN GET OFF THE ICE RIGHT NOW AND GO SIT IN A CORNER TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE.”

Alignment: Neutral Evil

First Irrelevant Google Images Result:

Media Consensus: “Dennis Wideman, what are you doing?”

Spirit Animal: Deer in headlights.

Team Role: Wideman was expected to be a puck-carrying player and to provide offense from the blueline, while being as little of a defensive liability as possible.

Execution of that Role: Everything went reasonably well except for the “not being a defensive liability” part. Wideman set new personal bests in goals and assists, and his 46 points were good for third on the team, providing a team-high 35 assists and  outscoring several forwards. Unfortunately he was a nightmare in his own zone, which might have been more acceptable if “defense” wasn’t right in his job title.

Postseason Performance: Dennis Wideman appears to be allergic to the playoffs.

Beard Rating:

Photo credit: Cheryl Nichols

Respectable, and slightly ginger. Seven out of ten.

Likeliness to Return: Please go away.

Usefulness in a Post-Apocalyptic Setting: You could probably count on him to be of superficial value until a critical moment when he would accidentally drop all of your supplies into the bottom of a lake. Two out of ten.

Other: Overall Year-End Rating: Six Bad Sashas.

For statistical analysis of Wideman’s season, see Japers’ Rink or Peerless Prognosticator. 

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  • http://twitter.com/VeggieTart Danielle

    Seven bad Sashas. I swear, with his playoff performance, he made Jeff Schultz look good.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett
  • http://www.facebook.com/john.wilson.129357 John Wilson

    I love you guys….

  • meowmix

    My thoughts exactly on this article.

    “Likeliness to Return: Please go away. ” Seriously?

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    He’s gonna get overpaid like a mug this season. I’m glad to see him do well… elsewhere.

  • Liongirl92

    Oh, laughing so hard…it’s funny because it’s true.

  • DoxinCalvert

    Awesome – Deer in Headlights… AMEN!

  • breaklance

    Dale Hunter really didn’t help Wides in the post season playing him and Shultz far far far….far too much. Zero reason he should of had more toi than Carlson, Green, or Alzner.

  • Yv

    Funny description. I watch every Caps game in VC and I don’t know how many times I said/shout the same phrase “Wideman, what are you doing?!? get out of there.” Unfortunately, he was Hunter’s favorite going back to London, so, he was there too long and too much.

  • Rhino40

    I agree with much of what was said about Wides’ downside. That said, I think it might be a bit hasty to let him walk just yet. The less than stellar second half & playoffs balance the All-Star first half, IMO, which should make the overpayment (if any) less-than-ridiculous.

    OTOH, I think everyone wants to see Dima get moar TOI–how else to accomplish this than to let Wideman walk?

  • Elchadeo

    umm. DITTO.

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