One of my favorite conspiracy theories is that the Jagr Debacle was a diabolically clever ruse by Craig Patrick to inflict even more suffering on Caps fans.

For those who don’t already know this: I grew up in Northern California at a time when the Sharks didn’t exist, the Ducks didn’t exist, and the Kings were still regarded—by people who “knew about hockey” as arrivistes. All that I knew about hockey (at the time) was the occasional reports I’d heard on TV: reports of some red-hot rookie up in a place called Edmonton who was making an unstoppable frontal assault on the NHL record books.

Fast-forward to 1986: I move from San Diego to DC with my parents. I was a working man–not the “generous, successful professional” (translation: “Sugar Daddy”) that every D.C. woman–or at least those who put personal ads in Washingtonian magazine– seemed to want. So, I had to find some way to occupy myself on my (many) open-calendar Saturday nights. It was at this time I truly discovered hockey and the Caps (in no particular order) and quickly came to embrace the latter as My Team.

It was also at this time that I learned the true difference between a Rival and an Enemy: A Rival is someone you want very much to defeat, but there is a measure of respect as well. A Enemy, on the other hand, is someone you want to crush, disgrace, and annihilate by any means necessary, because you hate ‘em, Hate ‘Em, HATE ‘EM!!!.

Hence it is also the Penguins who taught me that, although there are several rivals, there is only one Enemy…and that Enemy is Pittsburgh!!

That said, I think I hate The Bettman even more than the Penguins, and that’s not easy!

http://peerlessprognosticator.blogspot.com/