Evgeny Kuznetsov’s 2013 KHL All-Star Game Commercial

Nice hat.

Coming into the season, Evgeny Kuznetsov was persona non grata to Caps fans. The talented 20-year-old winger shunned the NHL for a second time, deciding to stay with Traktor Cheylabinsk for another two years. But with time comes perspective. That decision has proven to be wise, as the NHL lockout has already wiped out half of this season with no signs of ending.

By staying in Russia, Kuznetsov gets to enjoy the KHL All-Star game being held in his hometown of Chelyabinsk. Last week, Kuznetsov was voted in as a starter for the second straight year by fans. And the KHL this weekend debuted a commercial promoting the game featuring Chelyabinsk’s favorite son.

With KHL TV host Maria Titova as a teacher, we observe a classroom full of students, made up of fake sons and fake daughters of current Russian all-stars. Kuznetsov’s child, apparently an F student, is called to the board and gets quizzed by the teacher. How does he do? When does Papa Kuznetsov show up?

Below, RMNB’s Fedor Fedin provides a translated transcript.

Teacher: “Going to the blackboard is…”
[Looks at the list of kids, some of whom have surnames like Kovalchuk, Datsyuk, Malkin, Ovechkin, Kuznetsov]

Teacher: “Kuznetsov! To the blackboard!”

Kid Kuznetsov: “Why Kuznetsov?”

Teacher: “Kuznetsov: grade two. (Russian for F)”

[As Kid Kuznetsov goes up to the blackboard, he clips the back of Kid Malkin’s head. Chelyabinsk and Magnotogorsk are rivals.]

Teacher: “Malkin, you’re up next.”
“Show me where’s West.”

[The young Kuznetsov points with his hand.]

Teacher: “Take a pointer. Now show me where’s East.”

[Kid Kuznetsov points again.]

Teacher: “Show where the border is between West and East. ”

[Kid Kuznetsov points to Chelyabinsk]

Teacher: “Why here?”

Kid Kuznetsov: “Because here the best of the KHL will play in an All-Star Game.”

Teacher: “Take a seat, Kuznetsov. Five (Russian for A).”
[Teacher turns the page of the class register, sees All-Star Game tickets].

[Evgeny Kuznetsov looks into the classroom]

Evgeny Kuznetsov: “Maria Ivanovna, hello! Can I take my kid?”

[Written on the blackboard: Lesson topic: 2013 KHL All-Star Game, January 12-13, watch on KHL TV.]

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