Mike Green is Cosmo's Sexiest Hockey Player of 2013

Readers, Mike Green is so awesome, he has won a trophy before the season has even begun. On Tuesday, Cosmopolitan Magazine named the two-time Norris nominee as the sexiest player in all of hockey. Brooks Laich, who recently graced the cover of Shy Magazine, did not make the list. It is possible that Brooks, like Right Said Fred before him, was too sexy for the list.

Green, accepted his figurative award today at Kettler Capitals IcePlex, by looking splendid in his white Capitals jersey, blue snow pants, and…

Mike Green

Photo credit: Ted Starkey

A grizzly lockout beard-thing. No, seriously, you guys, what is that? It’s like the Geico caveman version of Mike Green.

The last time we featured MG52 on RMNB was last month, when he bought drinks for Caps fans at Front Page Arlington. There, to quote my girlfriend, he looked like a “beautiful and clean-shaven man who has perfected the smolder.” Since then: no clue. It’s like all grooming habits have ceased and he’s angling  for a walk-on role on Duck Dynasty.

Oh yeah, the award. Cosmo is a big deal I guess, and they clearly put a lot of energy into this not-at-all-random list of NHL players that inexplicably excludes Henrik Lundqvist. But I wanna know what you guys think: Is Mike Green the hottest man in hockey? Is he even the hottest man on his own team?

  • green52fan

    duh… of course he’s the hottest guy in hockey….

  • http://twitter.com/thesports007 D’Ann Faught

    Not the hottest man in hockey. Not the hottest man on the Caps even…LAICH!!!

  • http://twitter.com/CAPLDY Sheena Dunn

    Brooksy or Holtby are hotter!

  • http://twitter.com/_Starlet_ Starlet Smith

    The entire list looks like it was one of the Cosmo magazine’s intern’s jobs to draw a bunch of names out of a hat. What a mess!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jacob.combs.94 Jacob Combs

    with the beard i thought he looked kinda like drew doughty of the kings

  • Aggie

    They must not have seen Brooks Laich before. Mike is hot but Brooks is SO handsome.

  • http://twitter.com/VeggieTart Danielle

    Unfortunately way down the list is Sidney Crosby–ewwww.

  • http://twitter.com/VeggieTart Danielle

    And Brooksie can change a tire in a pinch.

  • capschick21

    I love Greenie, but Brooksy is the finest of all Caps!

  • Bryant Thomas

    i’d say green or holtby.

  • http://twitter.com/Camcoco10 Camilla A.

    I really don’t give a damn about a hockey players look, honestly.

  • http://twitter.com/annielockyer Annie Lockyer

    Ugh, Cosmo. They need to stick to giving laughable sex advice to barely literate virgins and leave the hockey to literally anybody else.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Dammit these are the jokes WE shoulda made

  • K

    For me is the hottes Ovi!

  • serpent

    He made it on a totally different list..begins with S….Even THN reader’s are tired of seeing his mug on the cover.(Letters 2/11/13 issue)

  • Lena

    Brooks!!!

  • Sarah

    My favorite thing about that list is Scott Hartnell.

    SCOTT. HARTNELL.

  • CDizz

    These are the same people who added Scott Hartnell to that list…yeah, their credibility is about as low as Gary Bettman’s.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sara.betancurt.3 Sara Betancurt

    Brooks is WAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY hotter

  • freckleface81

    What? No Martin Brodeur?!

  • Rhino40

    Oh…so that’s what “Duck Dynasty” is…I thought maybe Disney had made a movie about the Mighty Ducks as old men….hahahaha

  • Dawn

    I still think Ovi is the hottest on the team. :) No trolling, promise.

    And Cosmo is ridiculous. Especially when they mentioned Jordan Staal. Apparently, they couldn’t understand why the Pens let his ‘cuteness’ go. wtf. lol

  • http://twitter.com/_Starlet_ Starlet Smith

    Don’t forget about Jaromir Jagr, WHAT?

  • Bama

    It will be nice to have actual hockey to talk about once again, as opposed to goofy lists published by serial training manuals for vapid sluts. If Green were a knuckle-dragging, slobbery scrub, I wouldn’t care — so long as he gets his ass on the ice and gets back to making me happy. Laich, too.