The Washington Capitals Are Dead Last in the NHL

Sigh

Photo credit: @CapsBN92

This morning, I woke up, checked the NHL standings, and looked thirstily at a bottle of rubbing alcohol. The Washington Capitals are in last place. That’s 30th out of 30. They have fewer points than the Carolina Hurricanes, whose general manager recently said Alex Semin’s “been a very good player for us.” [gutpunch] They have fewer points than the Calgary Flames, despite playing three more games. [sigh] They even have fewer points than the Columbus Blue Jackets, who were the worst team in the league last year by nine points and they don’t have Rick Nash anymore. [tears]

This might explain why #OatesFace returned last night.

#OatesFace Version 2.0

Photo credit: Greg Fiume

Someone please say something to cheer me up.

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  • http://twitter.com/thatwilcoxguy JW

    Seth Jones.

  • Bender McDuster

    I like turtles

  • http://twitter.com/pthread Jim Kelly

    Well look at it from this perspective, while a bit oversimplistic (and ignoring that the Isles have played one fewer game), the Caps are 2 Ws out of a tie for a playoff spot right now.

    Here’s my fear: they put a Boudreau/Ducks style run together at the end and look good but just fall short. Then we lose a good draft pick and sit out the post-season. That said, look at the Ducks this year so far.

  • http://www.facebook.com/samuelcmiller Samuel Miller

    Nathan MacKinnon.

  • Yv

    The good thing in this is that the only way for Caps are Up and they still only 4 points from 8th in EC, yet. You can imagine how beautiful the graph will look at the end of the season, like in the best business growth presentations). Unless Caps see someone in draft who would be their new franchise player.

  • JH

    Everyone chill. It’s a new coach/system. I think it was Vokoun who recently said it took 20 games last year for the Caps fully to embrace Hunter’s system (which was boring hockey, regardless of effectiveness). Oates is going to figure out how to uncork Ovie. If we don’t make the playoffs in a strike shortened season with a new coach, I’m not going to kill myself. The path to the Cup is not a straight line. We have a second-line Center. We have Kuzya and Fedin in the pipeline. Let’s not mortgage our future just to have a chance at making the playoffs. Stay the course! No summer soliders or sunshine patriots!!!

  • Stacy Harrison

    gut punch. . .and we haven’t even played Carolina yet. What kind of punch will that be??? I’m not pessimistic, but this really is pathetic hockey.

  • Sarah

    #suckforSeth!

  • Mike

    build around streaky players and you get streaks. Great to hear that Semin has been good in Carolina. Will they still be as happy when he goes into a cold streak. Caps still (even without Semin) have a lot of streaky players who don’t contribute much when they are cold….OV, Carlson, Green (although he’s getting better at eliminating the lows) even Holtby.

    The problem is illustrated by the Kessel/Seguin comparison. Kessel contributes nothing when he’s on a cold streak, Seguin is learning to be useful between his hot streaks of scoring. This is why the Bruins will win more cups and the Maple Leafs won’t.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland
  • Andrew Merewitz

    What, a voice of reason! Get outta here with that!!

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    BURN THE WITCH

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett
  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    “Unless they win ten in a row, this team’s cooked” – Neil Sunshine Greenberg http://washington.cbslocal.com/2013/02/06/neil-greenberg-unless-caps-win-10-straight-theyre-cooked/

  • 20IS(still)GREAT

    Silly math. How dare you contradict the irrational disdain all those Caps fans had (and still seem to have) for Sasha Minor!

  • http://twitter.com/Isaac_Jacob1 Mordy

    Valeri Nichushkin.

  • http://twitter.com/Isaac_Jacob1 Mordy

    they have to become a .500 team to at least make the playoffs. Right now they are .250.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    If they become a 500 team now, they’ll have 21 wins on a 48 game season.

    To become a 500 team by game 48, they’ll have to win 58% of games from here on out– and that probably still won’t be enough in a conference-only season with 3-point games.

  • http://twitter.com/Isaac_Jacob1 Mordy

    true, I meant as a whole season :P It’s better to stink the bed in a 48 game season for the fans and everyone compared to an 82 game season

  • http://twitter.com/Isaac_Jacob1 Mordy

    Sasha is a traitor, or is Mcphee the traitor >.<

  • Rhino40

    If she floats, then she is made of wood, and therefore….

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    We’ve got Fedor Fedin in the pipeline. He will save the Caps.

  • mucha563

    I decided this year to cheer on two teams because I live in California and will not have the opportunity to see the Capitals this year, so I decided to cheer on the Ducks because I moved to Orange county and I like their coach ;) Luckily, I chose to do this before I looked at the standings last night and saw the Capitals in last place. I wanted to cry. I guess I will be wearing my new Ducks shirt a little more than rocking the red this season. Very sad!

  • http://twitter.com/tinyXmatryoshka Freyja Carmine

    A WITCH BURN HER BURN HER!!! she turned me into a newt