Photo credit: Patrick McDermott
Woohoo! Final game of the season. A month and a half ago, I thought this would be the last one I’d cover before the summer, but then Ovechkin happened. Now, the Boston Bruins at Washington Capitals game was just a meaningless little preamble to the real dance, which starts next week.
Let’s do a loose recap. Looch got a lucky one off Alzner’s skates, then he screened Holtby on Ference’s goal. Then, Mike Green 2009 warged into Mike Green 2013 and scored back-to-back power play goals. The Caps killed some late-game penalties and forced overtime, where Eric Fehr finished off the regular season with a little goal so greasy you could lubricate your engine with it if that’s a thing you knew how to do.
Caps beat Bruins 3-2 (Overtime).
Mike Green leads defensemen in goals. The current date is April 27, 2013. If that’s not proof that Adam Oates’ power play is magic, I don’t know what is. I don’t know if we’ve ever seen a healthy Mike Green in the playoffs. Heads up.
Out of town: Montreal looks like they’ll beat the Leafs tonight. So if Ottawa wins tonight (Philly) and tomorrow (Boston), the Caps will play the Leafs. That’d be a) awesome given all the media attention, and b) ideal for maximum scoar moar goals. Saturday’s Sens-Flyers game might be the last of Mike Knuble’s career– 1077 games long. It has been a privilege to watch his big ass play hockey.
If Ottawa loses tonight (they’re currently trailing), it’ll be Caps-Rangers for the millionth time in a million years. That’s okay as the Rangers are way weaker than some of the other teams the Caps coulda pulled (namely the Sens or the Isles), but still. Jeez. Sick of those guys. Remember: it was Caps at NYR when Mike whatshisface went on that tirade on Ovi. Get ready for 4-7 more games of that mess.
UPDATE: Yup. It’s the Rangers.
Alex Ovechkin got two apples, but no guavas. No matter– as Stamkos didn’t score before press time, soooo… congrats to Alex Ovechkin for winning the Rocket Richard. Just three months after everyone called him washed up. I went through all my old game recaps and changed them to make it seem like I knew this would happen all along. All joking aside, I have been deflecting criticism off Ovechkin all season while also mourning what looked like a mostly predictable decline in performance– until Jack Adams-deserving Adam Oates fed Ovi some acorn paste with red streaks in it and turned him into an all-seeing, goal-scoring, skinchanging ubermensch. Kneel before Ovi.
The Caps are apparently trying to get all the late-game penalties out of their system now. Cool.
OKAY. THAT’S IT. RAZOR’S DOWN. Here’s the part of the year where we all go insane. I can’t wait.
Playoffs, baby! Who’s excited?
Illustration by Rachel Cohen, y’all.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
All original content on russianmachineneverbreaks.com is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0)– unless otherwise stated or superseded by another license. You are free to share, copy, and remix this content so long as it is attributed, done for noncommercial purposes, and done so under a license similar to this one.