Sad Caps (Photos)

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Photo was touched up to remove the NHL executive handshake-passing the ref a 100-dollar bill. (Photo credit: Greg Fiume)

With their 5-0 loss to the New York Rangers in game seven, the Washington Capitals have been ungently booted from the postseason again. A period of healing and reconciliation now begins (also probably some suntans), but first we need to take a look at the sadness. The infinite, infinite sadness.

Let’s just take it all in, mope around for the next day or two like red-rocking Eeyores, and wallow in the wah wah wah (that’s what a sad trombone sounds like). It’s not fun; no, but we need to give the grieving process time to do its thing.

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A rare moment in which Ribeiro stank both literally and figuratively? (Photo credit: Greg Fiume)

NHL: Stanley Cup Playoffs-New York Rangers at Washington Capitals

Clockwise, starting from Ovi: Stunned, annoyed, yawning, guffawing, free agent-y, and totally over this crap. (Photo credit: USA Today)

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Oh great, next time you wanna be super-depressed, you don’t have to watch Requiem For a Dream. You can just pop open this GIF and save yourself two hours. (GIF by SBNation.com)

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“Boredom is the root of all evil, the despairing refusal to be oneself”. – Kierkegaard (Photo credit: @dcsportsbog)

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Sad dad. Sad dad. Sad dad. (Photo credit: @recordsANDradio)

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Oh criminy, now we are zooming in on sad dad? Have you no decency, cameraman? (Photo credit: @dcsportsbog)

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“I know it was you, Henrik. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!” (Photo credit: Patrick McDermott)

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“Well son, since you haven’t learned to respect your elders, it’s time you learn to respect your betters.” (Photo credit: Alex Brandon)

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This handshake nearly caused a goals-versus-threshold singularity that would have swallowed Marc-Andre Fleury whole. (Photo credit: Patrick McDermott)

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The Building of America’s Hockey Capital is running a bit late and over-budget. (Photo credit: Alex Brandon)

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ARE YOU KIDDING. DUDE, THIS IS THE SADDEST THING EVER. CANNOT EVEN CAPTION THIS. WOW. WOW. (Photo credit: Alex Brandon)

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Someone in the press corps just told Oates that Sun-In Hair Lightener is no longer in fashion. And that punk is dead. (Photo credit: Nick Wass)

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How this guy got no points in seven games is a puzzle for the ages. (Screengrab via Monumental Network)

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Karl Alzner forced to stand by silently while his beard conducts a lengthy interview. (Screengrab via Monumental Network)

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Green looks like a tougher and only slightly sadder version of the singer from Brand New. Who sucks by the way. (Screengrab via Monumental Network)

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Mama Backstrom is disappointed in her son’s play, sure. But his facial hair is an outright disgrace to the family name. (Screengrab via Monumental Network)

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No snarky caption. This guy is boss. Plus: hands-down best neckbeard on the team. (Screengrab via Monumental Network)

The sadness will pass soon. Try to put a smile on your face. And keep your head up. <3 RMNB.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    You’re mean when you’re drunk, Ian.

  • http://twitter.com/priscillamay1 Priscilla Villanueva

    West Coast represent! awesome.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Haha. And now you have been changed to the author of the story since you wrote everything. :D All I did was screengrab sad faces. SIGH.

  • http://twitter.com/annielockyer Annie Lockyer

    Sun-In is for natural blondes, and it works like a dream if you are… ALREADY BLONDE. It’s not for you, brown-haired people. Stop using Sun-In and complaining when your hair turns orange. You’re giving this wonderful product a bad name.

    Sorry, I just really need to put my anger somewhere else right now. And that place is on the heads of people who tarnish the good name of Sun-In.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Take it back. Be my human shield.

  • http://twitter.com/priscillamay1 Priscilla Villanueva

    I wonder who that guy is in front of Sad Dad. He looks positively shell-shocked.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    I used to do sun-in when I was a lifeguard. It was the worst look possible. Also, I was like running sound for ska bands at the time. I was an awful human being.

  • http://twitter.com/annielockyer Annie Lockyer

    Whoa.

  • http://twitter.com/annielockyer Annie Lockyer

    Also I was digging that cancer metaphor in your game recap which was spectacular as always, I just don’t want to comment over there. It’s too sad right now.

  • Akay15

    I have to say these pictures made me cry. I’m a relatively new hockey fan, but when my friend introduced me to the Caps, I immediately fell in love. A lot of the teams in the NHL have guys who bond together, obviously because they spend year after year together going through the same pain and living in the same town, but something about the Caps drew me in. Maybe because all of these guys are genuinely likeable. Maybe because Ovi works so hard and you wish you could just will the Stanley Cup in front of him. Whatever it is, I think it made me more upset than the round 2 loss from last year. Next year, boys.

  • Joben

    We should administer the Ludovico technique to Marc Joanette and the rest of the officials from games 3, 4 and 6, but instead of pictures of violence show them Sad Caps.

  • http://www.facebook.com/djlotus James Murphy

    This teams lack of success is a constant reminder of how terribly our GM tries to scrap together a South Least title. The end of the South East should spell the end of Mc”one contract away”, but Ted has shown that no matter how incompetent his GMs are, they may rest easy knowing that he only understands dollars and cents. It’s our own damn fault for believing this year was any different. We should have seen it coming the moment Erskine was paired with Carlson. The only thing that could have made this series easier for the Rags than Erskines pathetic attempt attempt at defense, would have been a soccer sized goal for Aaron Asham to shoot at. Aaron fucking Asham. Thanks Caps. Dicks.

  • 5bells

    I fear we are turning into Charlie Brown. But thank you for making me laugh. Godfather + singularity + beard interviews best ahah:)) Although it kind of looks like he might cry.

  • Bill S.

    This game absolutely sucked, but honestly it shouldn’t have happened. The refereeing at MSG sunk this series. I know it sounds like an easy scapegoat, but the atrocious call on the chimera “cross check” that lead to the Rangers goal just about summed it up. Even tonight, the refs “let the boys play” and ignored Callahan grabbing MoJo’s stick. But towards the end of the game started calling slashes and other weak stuff against the Caps. Lundquist gets credit where credit is due. But the crap penalty calls and lack of calls on obvious penalties against the Caps was ridiculous. I hate Marchand and Lucic, but I hope they knock out the stupid Rangers out of the play offs.

  • liquid8d

    Erskine was atrocious through this whole series. Alzner is really awesome. I had quite a few jager shots.That is all I have to report.

  • yv

    This is sixth time in a row such devastating moments falling upon Ovi, Nicky, MG52 and less for others. If you care about your job, you need really big, strong heart to recover from this so many times. But this time around they can only blame themselves, like in Habs series. In all other series the opponents and luck were to blame. They and GMGM, whom, as I mentioned in previous blog, I had an opportunity to see very closely after early exit today, know that this was the last opportunity to relatively easy get into SC train before realignment. And they blew it big time.

  • JenniferH

    Sigh. I’m kinda glad there’s no pic of Ovi/Holtby heading off ice because they both just looked so… not quite shellshocked, but a neighbor to it. That broke my heart.

  • http://twitter.com/ChrisAltice Chris Altice

    I came home to a “Sleep on the couch” sign posted on my own bedroom door. These mother fuckers still banged dimes. Thanks a lot Caps.

  • Sage Confucius

    At least this year Backstrom’s facial hair is meeting in the middle. Last year it was two tufts of fuzz on each side of his chin.

  • Pedro

    NBC guys on MoJo’s dive: “I didn’t know that you could…fall down from someone grabbing your stick. Really trying to sell it there.”

    Towards eng of game: Caps know it’s over and start taking bad penalties

  • http://www.facebook.com/caitlin.radek Caitlin Radek

    This clip has been in my head since last night. Love the guys and hope next year will be better, but in regards to last night this is true…

    http://youtu.be/ARITnC80VhE

  • PleaseKillMe

    Posting a song by a convicted rapist certainly doesn’t make me feel better.

  • JessHughes

    Thank you for the half-hearted dig againsf Fleury and the Penguins. That makes me slightly less sad. Slightly.

  • http://twitter.com/sirstanley11 bskillet

    Heads up, thank you Caps. It was a bs yr. anyway, we will get there with an 82 game schedule next yr. Now we just watch Boston kick the s–t out of NY. and hope we don’t get anymore bonehead moves from GMGM. can’t believe we don’t have Forsberg as the #2 center next yr. that was unbelievable???

  • trapy

    i like brand new : (

  • Manda

    The worst part for me was seeing the mass Exodus of “fans” leaving after the 5th goal (Wow, even as I type it I can’t believe there were FIVE!). Yes it stunk, but I believe you stand, sit or cry by your team until the final buzzer, especially at a season-ender. I just feel like the team was so awesome at so many points and it wouldn’t have been right to abandon them at their lowest. I’m just super Sad Panda today.

  • http://twitter.com/JasonRoseEh Jason Rose

    Green, even moreso than Ovi, showed he is deserving of all the accolades given to him of years past. He played extremely well in this series against one of, if not the best forechecking team in the league, with little help on the blue line.

    If the Caps don’t do something to strengthen the blue line, they’re in trouble. From game 4 on, they all looked like they were skating in mud aside from Green.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    He wasn’t going to be a center, but I am bummed he’s gone too. This team needed to get younger, not older.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    And with the salary cap going down big time next season, cheaper!

  • ChaseBH

    I still don’t understand the trade at all. It’s worse that the playoff results, cause it’s going to have lasting consequences. Next year, much harder division, with a weaker squad. Right now I pick Caps to finish last.