RMNB’s Favorite Jeff Schultz Moments

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Late last week, The Washington Examiner’s Brian McNally reported that veteran Capitals defenseman Jeff Schultz wants out of DC. “My agent and I thought there has got to be somewhere else where a team needs a player like myself and I can be utilized a lot more than I was here,” Schultz told Katie Carrera on Thursday afternoon. “It was like I was a young first year player again with them. They didn’t have that trust in me that they could put me out there in tough situations or even in the third period.”

Schultz, whose role with the team was reduced after Bruce Boudreau was fired, has one year remaining on his four-year, $11 million contract, which carries a $2.75 million salary cap hit next season. Over the weekend, George McPhee revealed to CSN Washington that he’d try to accommodate him. “As we’ve told every player, if you ever want to be traded or you’re not happy then let us know and we’ll trade you. So we started working on it and we’ll see what develops.”

During his time in Washington, Sarge was a polarizing figure among fans, not unlike departed bro Alex Semin. His style of hockey could never be described as tough (maybe gangly is the best word for it). Hockey purists took offense at that. At six-foot, six-inches and 230 pounds, Schultz could have been a physical player on the order of a Diet Chara, but instead Schultz’s long reach was his trademark.

That’s not to say Schultz hasn’t had success with his defensive philosophy. He led the league in (garbage stat) plus-minus in 2009–10 and set a postseason record in 2011 when he went 119 minutes without a goal against.

The summer after Schultz led the league in the worst stat ever devised, George McPhee signed him to a four-year, $11 million contract. So…

If he leaves the team this offseason, either by trade or buyout, Jeff Schultz definitely deserves a proper RMNB send-off.

Mister Nasty’s Full-Rink Goal

Jeff Schultz’s full-length goal on Ondrej Pavelec might make you more nostalgic for the Southeast Division than Sarge, but it’s still the right way to start it off.  Schultz was never, ever, ever known as a goal scorer, but this one was all skill. Kinda makes you wonder what he could do if he took a shot from under 80 feet away.

Chara’s Shot Hits Sarge in the Visor

“That would have been messy” is how Pierre McGuire described it. Zdeno Chara is sometimes known for having the hardest shot in the NHL. Chara looks pretty plucky in this video, meaning he must have just eaten a fresh Englishman. Seriously, the fact that we’re not writing about dead person Jeff Schultz right now is just a testament to the space-age materials used in hockey visors.

Someone F-Bombs During the Giraffe’s Interview

Peabody-caliber reporter Jill Sorenson conducted what should have been a routine intermission interview with Schultz, who usually controls the mic with the exquisite flow of a mid-career Adam Yauch. Instead, some punk in the hallway unleashed the effest F-bomb ever to what bombs at midnight.

Tackleberry vs. Jackman

Matt Bradley really wanted to cut in before this dance got started, but Schultz had to tango with Tim Jackman all alone. And despite having the reach advantage of Groot vs Rocket Raccoon, Schultz seemed to get the worst of this one.

Schultz Trolls Sidney Crosby

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He’s got a reputation for his quiet presence on the Capitals bench (err… press box), but Schultz one time exchanged salty words with Sidney Crosby. That we do not have audio of the back-and-forth is one of the great tragedies of our age. It’s possible Schultz harbors some deep-seated enmity for Crosby. Example: Schultz’s “how’s the wood, Sid” autograph, still a top-tier WTF moment the editorial staff on RMNB.

Digi-Schultz’s Cyberblock

Does this count? No, this does not count.

Dramatic Reading of Declaration of Independence

Somehow drafted into reading the Declaration of Independence at the Archives back in 2011, Schultz (born in Alberta, Calgary, which is in Canada– we checked!) reportedly struggled with the “long train of abuses and usurpations” line, which you’d think he understand better given either his defensive tendencies or his ludicrously lucrative contract with the Caps.

“Mister Nasty”

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“People seem to think that the big guy’s supposed to be the big mean guy out there and stuff like that,” Schultz said to sportswriting brahman Dan Steinberg. “That’s not the type of person I am. I just don’t have that mean streak like an Ersk out there, not to go out and fight and stuff like that.”

And yet they call him Mister Nasty. That’s an enigmatic nickname for a supposedly straightforward guy, so maybe we’ve got him all wrong. Like all of us, there are layers upon onion-y layers to Jeff Schultz– and some of those layers are nasty. The nasty Jeff Schultz is a top-shelf defender for the Washington Capitals and a mainstay on the blueline for as long as he wants to be there. On another layer is the dude for whom hits are anathema and skate speed is not actually speedy at all.

Maybe it’s time for another team to peel away at Jeff Schultz. If that’s so, best of luck to him.

 
  • Brian Wyler

    GTFO, Schultz!

  • http://www.facebook.com/derek.eklund Derek Eklund

    I never hated the guy, but it does get frustrating to see him not through his obvious advantages around on the ice.

    I do think its time for him to move on.

  • Rhino40

    I have long defended Jeff Schultz on CI and sometimes here too. I’m sorry, but the amount of hateful lather posted in the blogosphere is just…wrong, and the hard fact is that there is more about our team that needs fixing than can be traced to one unpopular defenseman—particularly one who saw virtually no ice time in the recent playoff debacle.

    • Did Schultz fail to play with a physicality that many assume should be commensurate with his size? Maybe.

    • Did he lack the offensive upside that many feel is de rigeur for a modern-era NHL blue liner? Maybe.

    • Did he skate slower than many feel he should have? Maybe.

    • Was he overpaid for what he brought to the Capitals’ roster? Probably.
    All this aside, he was reliable: seldom being unavailable due to injury or suspension, and, IMO, he played a decent positional game. Lastly—to his credit–he never ever threw another member of the Caps’ organization under the bus.

    The truth is that not every blue-liner in the League can be Nick Lidstrom. I, for one, wish Jeff Schultz well wherever he goes (well almost). My main worry is that—given the cosmically bad luck of this franchise or the Hockey Gods’ sadistic, irrational hatred thereof (take your pick)—Jeff Schultz will end up winning a Norris Trophy, or a Stanley Cup…or both…while wearing the sweater of a hated rival.

  • OlietheGoalie

    Buh bye, Schultz. I don’t hate you – I just don’t want you on this team any longer. Don’t let your head hit the ceiling on the way out.

  • MikeyP

    Regardless of any glimpse or hint or upside or greatness he may possess (which is extremely minimal if you ignore his size). He is a cancer to the caps salary cap issues.
    He is also a disgrace to anyone who plays a contact sport. His game is well suited for women’s ice hockey and they would perhaps scratch him on that level as well for being too much of a pussy.

  • Marlene

    Nostalgia just kicked in because of the video with Matt Bradley wanting to step into the fight to save Schultz. I miss old number 10 and his love of the game and his team. He might not have scored a lot but he really knew how to get his team into a game. Anyway…what about Schultz? Oh yeah, if Schultz feels his coaches don’t trust him than he should move on because it must be difficult to go out on the ice and have confidence. Good luck Schultz!

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Salary is the single biggest problem with Schultz. I don’t think he’s a bad player at all, but he’s certainly one of those who has gotten the worst end of the Caps’ transition from fun hockey to what they’re doing now. Plus, he got a payday when he looked better than he actually was. Bummer.

  • Wings in 4

    Who?

  • Pat Magee

    Carlzner killed Schultz’s career with the caps. Wish him the best wherever he goes! Unless that place is Pitt or Philly, then F*ck em!

  • Venturin

    Schultz’s inability to play has something to do with it. LOL

  • Venturin

    He IS a bad player.