ovi-vacation

[Editor's Note: Please play this song while viewing this post.]

There was once a time when an Alex Ovechkin vacation meant adult beverages, funny hats, and a throng of dancing women. That was the old Ovi. The new Ovi is a refined gentleman. He shaves, wears color-coordinated beach outfits, and does the Titanic pose in Twitter photos with his fiancee.

leo-kate-titanic

Ovi wouldn’t even freeze to death in the icy water. He’d be like hahaha ice))))))) and then he’d frog-kick the door Maria is floating on right into Ellis Island.

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  • Dominic

    I actually turned that song on to read it- ya know, just to see? It actually kinda works.

  • Dominate Turtle

    Now all she needs to do is win some matches

  • Troy

    improves the article by at least 200%

  • richnjos

    “He’d be like hahaha ice))))))) and then he’d frog-kick the door Maria is floating on right into Ellis Island.” Giggling for 20 minutes. Maybe I need a carbon monoxide detector?

  • Marlene

    I am at a loss for words….

  • FRED

    Huge puke!

  • Mike

    Cant stop myself from thinking about their children – would they be great sportsmen too? If so, i know the receipt for getting all Olimpic gold.