[Editor’s Note: Please play this song while viewing this post.]
There was once a time when an Alex Ovechkin vacation meant adult beverages, funny hats, and a throng of dancing women. That was the old Ovi. The new Ovi is a refined gentleman. He shaves, wears color-coordinated beach outfits, and does the Titanic pose in Twitter photos with his fiancee.
Ovi wouldn’t even freeze to death in the icy water. He’d be like hahaha ice))))))) and then he’d frog-kick the door Maria is floating on right into Ellis Island.