Photo via Gizmodo

The NHL agreed last week to allow its players participate in the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia. Up to eleven Washington Capitals could represent their countries in the two-week tournament, but the ultimate goal of Olympic gold just got a bit less awesome.

Chelyabinsk Region Culture Minister Alexei Betekhtin announced on Wednesday that gold medal winners on February 15th will receive a little something extra in their award: part of the meteor that crashed over the city a year before. According to R-Sport, only seven events will be awarding medals that day: the men’s 1,500 meter speedskating, the women’s 1,000m and men’s 1,500 short track, the women’s cross-country skiing relay, the men’s K-125 ski jump, the women’s super giant slalom, and the men’s skeleton events.

So no space rocks for hockey players.

Shards of the Chelyabinsk Meteor

Shards of the Chelyabinsk Meteorite

Since we can safely assume that Team Russia will run wild on their opponents [Ed. note: USA! USA! – Peterand win gold thanks to superior play and some convenient KGB-engineered poisonings (got a problem with that?), this means the IOC will deny Alex Ovechkin and possibly Chelyabinsk-native Evgeny Kuznetsov a piece of that storied meteorite. Cue the outrage!

R-Sport goes on to explain that several scientific expeditions have collected meteorite shards, chunks of which will be chipped off and inserted into the medals in an effort to turn the elite athletes of the world into irradiated monsters of the week. (Actually, the Chelyabinsk meteorite was also formed of common chondrite and poses no threat to health, but that would have been cool.)

Related: Evgeni Malkin with a camel.


Photo via evgenimalkinwithanimals

Thanks to Kyle Mace who first alerted us to the Gizmodo article.

  • Jackson

    That there are so many photos of him with animals out there and that there is a tumblr devoted to him with these various animals is why the Internet exists. If anyone ever asks, pointe them to that site.

  • The more I think about it, the less that pic of Geno with a camel is truly related to this article.

  • blbean

    Which one is Malkin? 😉

  • Katherine

    but it’s hilarious, so who cares 🙂

  • bskillet

    No matter about the gold medal for the Russian players, the States are bringing that home. Sorry about that Ovie, but they can still get the whole Stanley Cup!!!!

  • Graham Dumas

    The one who isn’t Zdeno Chara.

  • Ash

    I suppose it’s traitorous, but I’d much rather Russia get the gold
    than the US. A jubilant Ovi with a gold around his neck (not to mention a
    Kuznetsov with the same) is much better for the Caps and their Cup
    chances in the long run.

    …but the important thing is for Canada not to win.