EA Sports will release NHL ’14 to the world on September 10th. The 23rd game in the series, this year’s edition features NHL ’94 Anniversary mode– a callback to the seminal, twenty-year-old game featuring current rosters and downgraded graphics. We’re talking blue ice, 8-bit organ music, and those stick-over-head goal celebrations. It’s all back.

EA Sports released a teaser video, of which 17 of 74 seconds feature Caps players doing stuff. It’s got Alex Ovechkin putting a wrister in the right-hand corner of the net (22-second mark). Totally believable.

It’s got John Erskine showing off his hip-checking skillz (30 seconds). That could happen maybe.

And it’s got Mike Green beating the snot out of Jamie Benn in the face with a flurry of crunchy-sounding right-handed punches (47-second mark). Whaaaaaaaaa.

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I guess this is a fight over who has the better head of digital hair. (GIFs by welshhockeyfan)

Okay, first of all, NHL 94 didn’t even have fighting. Which is why we all played ’93 whenever we had a choice.

And maybe next time EA Sports should go with a a real fighter. Here are Greener’s three career bouts.

Then again, portraying Mike Green as a brawler matches the tone of the video and the game. It’s precisely as ridiculous as NHL 94, which is sort of why we love that game in the first place.

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  • yv

    We know now the aftereffect of that beating of Kovy by MG52, he decided to retire from NHL to end this abuse!

    Hey Ian, what is with this b.scorecardres… redirection. I known every site has all kinds hyperlinks, but this one just has killing waiting time. What is more annoying sometimes it make Chrome even disappear (minimized) from the screen to show up again later after 10 sec.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Are you talking about the video at the top of the post? I embedded it from Facebook.

  • yv

    no, every time you first time clicking on RMNB article there is significant pause and on left bottom corner of chrome browser you can see which link causing it. Usually, on most sites it should be less than 1 sec, but here it is much longer. Just inconvenience.

    And also, it looks like Kuzya played today only 30 sec of the first shift. I wonder how serious it is.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Try deleting your cache and re-loading. One of our scripts or widgets might be giving you trouble.

    Peter might be able to help you more too. Chrome is his browser of choice. I use Safari (on my iMac) and haven’t had any issues. Sorry for the inconvenience!

  • yv

    I did it before. I suspecting that maybe my over security settings might slowing down the loading of your and some other sites. Wonder whether others have the same problem.
    Looking forward for you info what happened with Kuzya. Just only first 30 sec of play meant it was not technical but something more serious. Will check myself also.

  • yv

    from R-sport: “Traktor’ forward Kuznetsov could not to continue to play in a game vs Vityaz’ after the hit by Vityaz’ captain Max Rybin. On 30 sec of the game Rybin met him in Traktor’s zone after which referees were forced to stop the game. Forward of team Russia stood up by himself and immediately left to locker room..”

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Chrome is the only browser.

    We use a lot of weird social stuff that could be the X-factor. Open the browser in incognito mode. Lemme know if that solves it.

    If not: Find the thing that is flickering, right-click on it and select Inspect Element. Copy the HTML it selects in the window that pops up by right-clicking. Lemme know what it is.

  • SwedishClusterF

    Rangers series: That fearsome tough guy Mike Green sure beat the hell out of poor helpless innocent Dorsett in the corner just for looking at him wrong didn’t he?
    Made him bleed with a series of vicious bare-handed blows to the face before ripping his heart out with his teeth. I totally remember that.

    I’m gonna go with Ted’s secret subliminal “You Don’t F With Mike Green” ad campaign donations hard at work.

  • Ash

    I still think one of Green’s better tough guy moments was in the game against the Habs back in February of 2012, when he absolutely launched Rene Bourque into the goalpost and grinned all the way to the penalty box. Totally worth it.