RMNB Readers Wish Alex Ovechkin a Happy 28th Birthday

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We asked you, the deranged and lovely readers of RMNB, to congratulate our hero Alex Ovechkin on his 28th year of life. You had to make a birthday card. The only rule was that you had to use a cheap graphic editor to make it.

What we didn’t tell you is that we don’t have to follow the same rules. Above is our card for Ovi, via RMNB resident artist Rachel Cohen, who is awesome. Meanwhile, you guys knocked this assignment out of the park. Like Joel Rechlicz, you backhanded the puck past your limitations and blazed new trails of Art with a capital A. Cruise on down past the jump to check out the gallery.

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Not only did Maria K. tweet this card out after our deadline for submissions, she also used a fancy graphic editor. For shame, Maria!

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Michael D. delivers this nod to Alex’s lifelong romance with his true love: Nachos!

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Oh, thanks, @CapitalsHill. Good timing; we were running low on NIGHTMARE FUEL.

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Armed only with Microsoft Paint, Jack takes on the Weagle logo. A noble effort! 

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Michelle K., who cheated by using actual artistic skills, shares this lovely card.

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Happy birthday, Quintin! Here’s hoping Ovi scoars one for you in Baltimore tonight.

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Anna S. did not translate this for us, so we just have to trust that it’s wholesome. 

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Brett W. attended Ovi’s 21st bday party, hosted by Elliot in the Morning. Even then: sharp dresser.

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Danielle S. does her part to avoid any future slouchgate controversies.

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Dave M. and Jeanette. Dudes, where are we partying in Fed Hill? Let. Us. Know.

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Eric W. reminds that a birthday card celebration with just one nacho pic is unacceptable.

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Ian R. has turned Alex Ovechkin into a gosh darn Lego. Duck boats are awesome for the record.

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Judith P. repping some Russian hockey nostalgia.

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Meghan K. secures the nacho hat trick. It’s a freaking nacho hot tub. That is gross/delicious.

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Margie S. has advice on how to properly to celebrate. I’d settle for neither, but that’s just me.

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Nicole H. dropping puns like she’s the Adam Vingan of Ovi birthday cards. 

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Perri M. took Ovi on location at Mary Washington for a lovely card.

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Stephanie D. composes a spritely Rusglish poem from Ovi’s perspective.

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Manda K.’s collage includes things Ovi surely loves. But what is with the cat?!

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Whoa, Tyler D. We appreciate the message, but keep your excite to yourself.

  • Anna S.

    here is translation (I hope I translate it well :D)

    In this day,people listen !

    with the mission came from heaven

    person who is miracle

    this is the truth, not flattery

    Happy Birthday

    I wish you life full of hockey,

    gold from the Olympic,

    modesty is not necessary in this :)
    (in russian it actually rhymes :D)

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Awesome! Thanks, Anna. :D

  • Rhino40

    Ian here’s another…I can send you as .png this year…

  • Knuble22ftw

    Hey! Where is mine?

  • Ryan

    dude if Ovi really had the body builder physique on the one card you posted, can you imagine the cartoon violent hits he would be able to lay on Penguins and Flyers and players of other teams i detest??? they would just go flipping through the air or vaporize completely on impact, would be sooo much fun, scratch that even MORE fun, to watch!)))))))))))))
    # sigh, if only

  • Owen Johnson

    Disappointed mine isn’t on here, even if it was colossally stupid and… OH MY GOD BROUVECKIN WILL HAUNT MY NIGHTMARES!!!!

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Haha. it’s fine for comments, but not sufficiently kid-friendly enough for the post itself. Sorry! I giggled.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    I know we tease her at the top, but how awesome is Maria Kirilenko?

  • Owen Johnson

    Yeah I’ll post it. Keep in mind it took me like 5 minutes to think of the concept, make it and submit it.

  • Yo8

    That moment when we all wished to be Mike Green *sigh*

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Owen, awesome! I don’t think we got yours in our email or I just missed it. My bad, man. Thanks for being a good sport about it! I totally owe you one.