Caps Players Signed One of Those Awful Toasters


Photo credit: Amanda H.

[Editor’s note: When Washington Capitals fan Amanda H. went to the Caps Season Ticket Holder party at Six Flags last year, she had Martin Erat sign a photo of Filip Forsberg. This year, she one-upped herself. We’ll let her explain.]

Martin Erat signs the toaster (Photo credit: Amanda H.)

Martin Erat signs the toaster (Photo credit: @Komissarov95)

I had debated for a few days what I should get signed at the season ticket holder party. I have a ton of Caps stuff, but nothing really stood out to me, until about twenty minutes before I had to leave. Long forgotten due to the poor toast it makes (No, seriously it’s very bad toast, I have yet to find a setting that toasts most of the bread without burning the other half), my Capitals toaster sat on a shelf, not having been used in months.

Images of walking around an amusement park carrying a toaster danced in my head. It was too amusing to turn down. I have a suspicion those events might be slightly tedious so I felt like this might spice things up. At the very least it’d give me something to say to the players instead of just awkwardly standing in silence. I cleaned it up a little and tested to make sure the sharpie would actually stick. It did!

When my friend Alyssa and I arrived in the parking lot, I had a moment of doubt. Am I really going to go get a toaster signed? Why didn’t I clean it thoroughly beforehand? I figured that either way, this would be a great story and probably worth the effort. I went through security and the bag check. The guy checking my bag thought my toaster was pretty cool.

After eating, we went to our first line: Steve Olesky and Jason Chimera. I admit, I was nervous. When it was my turn, I handed my toaster over with shaking hands. Olesky examined it and asked, “Is this a toaster?” I probably mumbled my reply. “First toaster I’ve ever signed!” Jason Chimera seemed amused by it as he signed.

Next, we got into the line for Mike Green, which is where people started to really notice, that yeah, some girl was getting a toaster signed. I answered a bunch of questions, like how much it was, and how the toast was (awful!). All the feedback was positive, so I felt a lot less shaky as I got up to Mike Green to sign it. Mike did the same examination and then signed it.

Next, we went to the line of Aaron Volpatti and Connor Carrick. Again, I was told that neither had signed a toaster before, and I think someone said that it was a cool idea.

My favorite part of the night was when Eric Fehr signed it. He grabbed it and asked me, “So is there any reason I’m signing this toaster? Just sign it anywhere?” He was the only one to try to get the explanation from me. I explained that it was bad at making toast, and that I was just going to retire it to a shelf after getting it signed, plus, why not? John Carlson chose to sign it right in the middle, I thought that was funny.

Martin Erat and Michal Neuvirth didn’t really have much to say about it, but the guy who operated the basketball shooting game did compliment me on the fact I was crazy enough to bring a toaster for it.

Then we came to Brooks Laich‘s line, which I figured would be my last. Midway through line, however, a guy whose name I unfortunately never got gave me his Ovi line wristband that had fallen off. He had already gone through but I figured it was worth a shot to try and get the great 8 to sign my toaster. I got Brooks’ signature and hurried off. I flashed the wristband and was ushered in quickly, I really cut it close. (Off-topic: the guy in front of me took his shirt off to get it signed; it was kind of weird.) Ovi grabbed the toaster and said, “Nice!” before signing it. That really solidified my night as awesome; Alex Ovechkin was totally cool with signing my toaster and thought it was nice.

I had arrived that night with a Washington Capitals bad-toast-making toaster and a dream; I left with a Washington Capitals signed bad-toast-making toaster and a great story.


Photo credit: Amanda H.

  • Brouwer Rangers

    I see right through the ruse. Amanda just wants to have the only team-signed Capitals toaster in all the land, so she insists it makes terrible toast in the hopes that no one will buy it. Meanwhile, she’s enjoying fresh, perfect toast with a nice autumny apple butter and laughing at all us rubes.

  • ovechwin

    I guess I should start to brainstorm for next season…

  • ovechwin

    All good toasters smoke when you toast, right?

  • I have one too. When the toast comes out, the charred part looks more like a weird alien head than the actual Caps logo. This toaster has so much potential and it’s such a giant let down. Such a bummer.

    Also — THANK YOU AGAIN Victoria for getting that for me for my birthday a few years ago.

  • Brouwer Rangers

    I see an unsigned Keurig that looks awfully ashamed to be sitting there next to an autographed toaster.

  • 19Capsfan

    We have that toaster too. It’s on a shelf in the basement b/c it sucks. Won’t get rid of it though. Very clever idea.

  • Daniel Walker

    I was at a game a couple seasons ago where I had the pleasure of watching Ovie’s mom try and figure out the Caps toaster. She seemed very confused, yet slightly intrigued by it. Needless to say, the explanation offered by the concession guy didn’t seem to clear things up for her all that much. I’m pretty sure she offered the guy a health goat and three lightly used rabbit’s feet in exchange for it. He didn’t take it. I thought it was a fair offer.

  • Norma

    I think somebody wants the toliet seat done next

  • yv

    Just bury the toaster in the backyard! Looks like you have perfect Caps toaster: two-faced, hot on one side (regular season), cold on another (playoffs) or, if you prefer, good on one (regular) and burn by another! Until you get rid of it Caps and fans will suffer!

  • H70

    Haha, I love fellow Caps fans.

  • Pat Magee

    That is a cool Keurig, though.

  • ovechwin

    Thanks! It’s my most prized possession (after the toaster, obviously)

  • Matthew Kory
  • Matthew Kory

    Though if that’s too small you could go with the official Washington Capitals inflatable lounge chair

  • Michael Reschly

    I’m suprised Ovi called it ‘Nice’ and not ‘sick’..

  • Pat Magee

    Yeah, haha. That toaster is definitely priceless, now!

  • Step Mang

    Me and my friend Ryan met you and he gave you the wristband!! Coolest toaster ever!!