Photo: Patrick McDermott
The Washington Capitals had a simple challenge when they faced the Montreal Canadiens on Friday. Back on Wednesday, the Capitals had managed exactly zero shot attempts on the Penguins before the game was out of reach. And while the possession game was a disaster, the team chose to blame it on “execution.”
After that bad start on Wednesday, the team had a simple task: do better in the first period this time.
Could they pull it off?
No, they could not.
A bad breakout pass from Alex Urbom to Mikhail Grabovski led to a turnover for the Habs, whose Travis Moen didn’t have much of a challenge from Mike Green: 1-0 Habs. David Desharnais tipped in a high puck to make it 2-0 in the first period. And then Danny Briere made it a three-spot converting a power play while Marty Erat was in the Sasha box.
Alex Ovechkin saved a bit of face with a very, very wide-angle shot to score on a late-period power play.
The second period was quiet, which is a bad thing if you were hoping for a Caps comeback and a good thing if you thought it could get even worse.
Alex Ovechkin got his 19th of the season tipping in a long bomb from John Carlson, but 6-on-5 didn’t earn the Caps a tying goal.
Habs beat Caps 3-2. Boo.
Friday’s game: better or worse than Friday the song? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
Ovechkin stunned pic.twitter.com/9MItjgTlDx
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) November 23, 2013
Ovi rules, but this game was no good.
Here’s a series of questions that are on my mind:
The answer to #1 is a simple NO. A zombie’s body has irreversibly stopped all vital functions. Many times they have no blood whatsoever. They lack the vitality to get infected with porphyric hemophilia.
The answer to #2 is an obvious YES. A vampire is, by strict definitions, dead– but it is far more vivacious than a zombie. They’re still susceptible to illnesses– just far fewer of them than humans. While the zombie virus– let’s call it Solanum— kills a living host, it also converts a dead host into a zombie. Vampires occupy the sweet spot between the two.
#3, the werewolf, the X-factor. Werewolves probably won’t bite or eat a zombie if it is decomposing, but in the rare situation where a fresh zombie gets bitten by a werewolf, I assert that it’s still incapable of manifesting as a lycanthrope. It simply has no metabolism. A vampire, OBVIOUSLY, can become a werewolf– either by feeding on a werewolf (its last remaining metabolic process) or by getting bit by one. Similarly, werewolves can become vampires. That dangerous mutual risk to one another is why the vampire and werewolf communities have maintained detente for all these years.
And if a vampire-werewolf gets bit by a zombie, look the frak out. We’ve got a vamwolfbie on our hands. Or maybe a zomwerepire. Or god help us if it’s a werevambzom.
Feel free to disagree, but you’re wrong and YOU SHOULD DIE IN A FIRE.
Listen, I’m sorry I yelled. It’s possible that this game and this team have got to me.
Alright, see you guys on Saturday night. Grabo vs the team that gave him away over the summer! Should be fun. See you then.
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