Caps Red Line: Ian vs Tom Wilson on NHL 14!

IanWilsonCRL

Ian braved rush-hour traffic last Tuesday to make an appearance at Kettler Capitals Iceplex. After nearly eight hours in the car, he now understands why we hate this city’s traffic so much. But Ian had good reason to make the trip: he played NHL 14 with Tom Wilson.

Back at the NHLPA Rookie Showcase back in August, T-Wilz took on the league’s top rookies in an NHL 14 tournament and pwned the noobs. In RMNB’s first segment for Caps Red Line, Ian decided to show Tom how real non-athletes get down. Ian’s been playing hockey– ya know, fake hockey– since Blades of Steel in 1988, six years before Wilson was born. Ian’s been playing the EA NHL franchise since 1993, which also was before Wilson was born. A lot of things happened before he was born.

An accomplished and experienced virtual athlete, Ian thought he would dominate the sassy 19-year-old. Let’s see what actually happened.

Video Of The Entire Episode

Some highlights:

  • Ian lost. Wilson is amazing. We have to change our Twitter avatar to a picture of Wilson’s choosing. This is what he asked for. Grrrrrrrrreat.
  • Alex Ovechkin calls Wilson “Willy Baby,” which is now my new favorite Capitals nickname. (No offense, Binky.)
  • Wilson’s NHL 14 photo makes him look 16. That’s because it was taken when he was 16. Can a photo from high school not look stupid? No. The answer is no. It will always look stupid.
  • When Ian started losing, I assumed he was throwing the game. I was about to bust out the boo-birds and throw a complimentary water bottle at him. Ian insists that he really was trying and that his chosen team, the Philadelphia Flyers, were just awful. Willy Baby and I don’t believe that garbage and neither should you.
  • Wilson kept refusing to fight Ian so he didn’t lose any of his players. Doesn’t he know video games and strategy don’t mix?
  • Wilson calls assists “apples.” Canadians, man.
  • Digi-Aaron Volpatti had special powers under Wilson’s control. He won fights and scored goals. Real-life Volpatti for first-line left wing, anyone? Okay, fine.
  • Wilson has excellent fashion sense. I was gonna ask him where he got his jacket before I realized it’s probably worth more than my life. Sigh.
  • Ian, meanwhile… well, at least he wore pants. That’s actually a big step forward for him.
  • Speaking of which, say hello to the brand new 8-bit Hot Stick shirt. You can order yours tomorrow. Do you dig?

GIFs

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GIFs by welshhockeyfan


Want That RMNB Shirt Signed By Tom Wilson?

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Like our fan page and share this link publicly on Facebook and you’ll be entered to win that RMNB t-shirt signed by Wilson at the end of the video. On Monday, we’ll randomly select someone from the list of people who shared this (again, publicly, not just friends-only!) and send ‘em the duds. And remember, don’t forget to watch RMNB on CRL!

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  • RedRockingElla

    Love this! Now give me that shirt!

  • Owen Johnson

    Yeah I was convinced Ian was throwing the game too. I would too if I were playing as the Flyers.

  • Topher Gee

    Serious question, Is Willy Baby still growing his mustache? I can’t tell.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett
  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    I say this both in embarrassment and with complete transparency: I was trying my hardest. The Flyers are SO freaking bad in the game. Also, Tom may or may not be… ugh… kind of good.

    By the way, just a funny note, he told me privately before we shoot that the last time he played the game was the NHLPA Rookie Showcase. Hahahaha [tears]

  • Matt

    If this game was realistic, Emery would have started fighting after giving up 4 goals.

  • Chris Cerullo

    Loved this. Grabbing a 43 jersey this Christmas.

  • Shawn Murphy

    So now Ian officially has a-
    face for radio
    voice for print
    hand-eye coordination for boardgames
    dannnggg Oland. dang.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    I deserve this. Haha.

  • Owen Johnson

    This was also effective marketing. I bought NHL 14 after watching this.

  • holtbysaidno

    That was fun to watch. Looking forward to more of RMNBCRL!
    Maybe an RMNB NHL14 (charity) tournament in the future?

  • JenniferH

    In your defense, Ian, Willy Baby *is* an NHL player. I suppose you could console yourself with that. ;)

  • Fedor

    “console” — pun intended?

  • Brouwer Rangers

    Great job, Ian and Chris!

    Needless to say, if you need anyone to awkwardly stand in the background if/when you do a similar segment with Brouwer, I know a couple guys who would be a good fit. If you’ve ever seen our awkward performance on the old “Caps on Tap” Mike Vogel did with Knuble back in the early Knights days, you know what i’m talking about.

  • Bob

    just the thought of ovi saying willy baby in his russian accent makes me laugh

  • JenniferH

    It works both ways my friend, LOL!

  • Ben Reed

    Holy shit VOLPATTI TOE DRAG?!? I thought NHL14 was supposed to be the most realistic one yet.

  • Lawrence

    You did a great job! Good questions, handled yourself well, kept the mood lighthearted, good stuff! :)

  • brian!

    Just a spectacular job guys, can’t wait to watch the video!

  • Brackaphobia

    “Ian Oland
    Height: 6’1″
    Position: Awkward” lol lol lol

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Thanks, man. Definitely what I was going for!

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Total intimidation.