No matter how bad your day has been, Mike Green‘s was worse. The two-time Norris nominee was whistled for three infractions in the first period, leading to two Tampa Bay Lightning goals. In total, Green racked up 18 penalty minutes in just 9:18 of ice time. Comcast SportsNet commentator Alan May diagnosed the penalties during the first intermission, calling them “textbook” and the result of “laziness.”

Let’s review.

4-Minute Double Minor For High Sticking


It started just two minutes into the game. As Lightning forward Valtteri Filppula went hard to the net, Green clipped him in the face with his stick blade. Martin St. Louis would score 12 seconds later.

2-Minutes for Tripping


6:57 later, Green didn’t skate particularly hard in the neutral zone and got lazy with his stick. The result: a two-minute minor for a corkscrew trip on Ondrej Palat. 1:42 later, Nikita Kucherov scores on the power play.

2-Minutes for High-Sticking


As soon as Green got out of the box, he got the infraction hat trick, high-sticking Tyler Johnson.

10-Minute Misconduct


GIFs by welshhockeyfan

After the whistle, Green yelled out loud, “Fuck me. What the fuck!” (Kids: don’t use swear words.) That’s your ten-minute misconduct right there.

Green has earned the most single-game PIMS by a Caps defender since Bryan Muir got 19 in three periods against the Penguins in December 2006. For the record, Brendan Witt got 31 against Buffalo back in 2005, and John Erskine had 29 against Atlanta in 2006.

Despite his troubles, Washington Capitals assistant coach Calle Johansson showed confidence in Green while talking to Al Koken during a break in play during the first period. “He’s been around long enough,” Johansson said. “He just needs to settle down, start skating, and focus a little bit. That’s what we all have to do. It’s not just him.”

Regardless, what a joke of a period.

Additional reporting by Chris Gordon.

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  • Bob

    maybe he needs the Binky treatment for a few games

  • Jay DeLancey

    put him in the press box!

  • Topher Gee

    I thought for sure the bolts would have held the puck longer than green’s penalty minutes.

  • Joben

    I’d like to see Patrick Wey given another chance. He played better defense against the Predators than Green has all year.

  • Chelsea Winot

    That 10 minute misconduct gif is my exact reaction to a lot of things in life haha

  • MuzzMuzzington

    Oh wow, they gave him a Misconduct for cursing at himself? Fuck me that is great. Oops… I’ll be in the locker room.

  • Ryan Glynn

    i needed pim’s for my fantasy team but i unfortunatly didnt start green.

  • Capslass

    Love Alan May’s tweet. It says it all. He was so bad and hasn’t been great all year. Could be the pressure of being looked at for Canada’s Olympic team (probably not anymore) be getting to him?

  • Hockeynightincanada

    Was there ever even a thought? He wasn’t even selected to go in 2010. He’s always had a great skillset watching him on the Blades in Saskatoon and was being guided the right way under Hanlon and then Hunter but I think Boudreau did a lot of bad in hindsight. Just another potential defenseman whose abilities were wasted away by this organization because they don’t know how to develop a D-man of his calibre.

  • I’m totally over it. Green had an atrocious game. He’ll get past it. He’s a great player. This was just a blip. Now he should focus on his odd-man rush defense.

  • Matt McNeely

    Uh, seems like the lift check was a little off tonight… the puck wasn’t even near the guy on the first one! What was he thinking?

  • Matt McNeely

    I’m gonna guess you wouldn’t be over it yet if the Caps had lost this game like they were supposed to! He got bailed out hardcore tonight.

  • Jack Conness

    Can we talk about how well Dima played tonight? I thought he looked awesome with the puck. He had a turnover or two but he had some real crisp passes and was flying around on the ice.

  • dylan wheatley

    green is kind of expensive this year

  • Anela

    Green had an awful night, and I hope he bounces back–though I wonder if he is playing with an injury again with his lazy play tonight (though he did get some redemption with his assist on an Ovi goal).

    However, my main irritation at the game tonight was the constant booing by the crowd around me whenever he was on the ice or had the puck. Yes he was having a shit night, but booing super loud is not going to help things.

  • Guest

    “(Hand the) Game Over Green”… and then Ovi happened.

  • Christoffer Salo Salomonsson

    gotta say.. i think Erat was almost worse.. has he already signed with tampa maybe??

  • Myan

    Mike Green must absolutely hate you for this article and all of those gifs…but I’m sure we all absolutely hated him for the first 30 minutes.

  • Josh Hettermann

    How can you say hes a great player? he hasnt been great in 3+ years..

  • Using my keyboard.

  • Green tilts the ice better than any other Caps D-man


    He’s even better when the game is on the line.

    He’s in the top 50 among all D-men in that same stat, and he’s been one of the biggest factors in bringing the team’s possession numbers up.

    He also is an excellent PPQB, helping the Caps get in the top 6 teams in shots generated on the PP


    He’s been hurt, he’s made goof-ups, he has a pattern of bad reads on odd-man rushes.

    But he’s also a damn good player.