Mikhail Ovechkin is Shooting iPhone Video All Wrong

mikhail-ovechkin-iphone2

The Capitals lost to the Sharks and we are sad.

But here is Alex Ovechkin’s dad fighting his iPhone and we are happy.

Oh, Mr. Ovechkin. You are so adorably gruff, wrestling with your newfangled technology between smoke breaks.

GIF by Ian Oland

But hey, if you’re shooting video, you are doing it wrong.

All wrong, sir.

You gotta turn that bad boy sideways. Landscape mode. Get some wide-angle, John Ford-esque video of your son losing to San Jose.

It’s the difference between this:

ovi 2

And this:

ovi Rob Carr

Photo: Rob Carr

See the scope? The composition? The stuff to the right and left? So much better.

And hold the thing with two hands. Not too tight. Right up by the camera lens. Way less shaky now, no? Less The Bourne Ultimatum and more Spike Lee. Now isn’t that gonna look so much better on your tumblr?

mikhail-ovechkin-iphone1

Well, unless you’re shooting square aspect-ratio stuff for Snapchat or Vine or Instagram or something crazy I don’t even know about yet. In that case, my bad. I’m sorry. Carry on. Good job raising that world-class athlete. He’s great. We’re big fans. Anyway, have a good one.

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  • http://kaugesaar.se/ Victor Kaugesaar
  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    In Soviet Russia phone holds you.

  • nicoley-poley

    My almost fifty year old mother asked me last night: “Is Papa Ovechkin taking a selfie?”

  • Igor Kleyner

    Thank God it’s iPhone, not Vertu

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    I’m not sure even he knows.

  • VeggieTart

    Most people do this. Drives me nuts.

  • Jennifer Carignan

    Mr. Ovechkin still has much more advanced iPhone skills than
    my parents, so high five to him.

  • Myan

    Oh Ian, I expected more creativity out of you.

  • salgotnv

    I love this post. As a video editor/producer by profession… well…. I just love this post. And Papa Kin looks like he’s killed men for less…

  • John Fitzmaurice

    “I don’t always shoot video. But when I do, i shoot it portrait.”

  • yv

    In other news, interesting to see how firing of the Governor of Chelyabinsk province M. Yurevich today, who was also the president of Traktor hockey club will affect Kuzya’s future. He was the one who instigated Kuz signing two years ago.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Yeah we saw the news. Fedor tweeted it out a few hours ago.

    I think there’s a perfect storm going on here. Traktor’s not good and may miss the playoffs, Kuzya has been whistled (booed) by his home fans, the governor was fired (and he will likely be relieved of his job as team president), Kuzya didn’t make Olympic hockey team after showing country loyalty. His appeal in Russia has decreased.

    I really think it’s certain he comes over now, when is merely the only question now. And considering how poor the Caps possession stats are, an extremely talented puck handler and skater is exactly what this team needs.

  • yv

    Looks like Grabo would be signed by Caps, so hopefully no arguments about the jersey number that affect Kuz signing, as well as strict regulations concerning of proper puppy docs. He can use 92 which is still free in here.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    I refuse to believe a jersey number would keep him in Russia! Haha. But I guess, you never know. :D