Strachan vs Martin (Photo: Patrick Smith)
They’re not all barnburners. Some games merely are. They start, sixty minutes pass, and then they’re over. Tuesday’s Capitals-Islanders game wasn’t completely free of drama, but it was a low-scoring, mostly sleepy affair. Every time something cool was about to happen, a countervailing uncool thing (whiff, penalty, Milbury) canceled it out. Worst of all, the Caps lost.
The game went scoreless for 42 minutes until Andrew MacDonald’s muffin floated past Neuvirth. Is that it? Yeah, that’s it. That’s dumb.
Isles beat Caps 1-0. Shut out for Evgeni Nabokov.
INT. NBCSN STUDIO – EVENING.
MILBURY: Hey, JR.
ROENICK: Yeah, Mikey?
MILBURY: This game is awful boring. What are we gonna talk about during the intermission?
ROENICK: Hmm. That IS a pickle, Mike.
ROENICK: Say! You still have that old sack of bullshit lying around?
MILBURY (reaching for old sack of bullshit, kept under the desk): Of course, JR. I never go anywhere without my trusty old sack of bullshit.
ROENICK: Perfect! Let’s just throw that around the studio again.
MILBURY: JR, you’re a genius! Here! I’m gonna smear some on the walls!
ROENICK: Looks great, looks great. Here; let me try!
MILBURY: Okay, but try not to get any on Russ Thaler.
ROENICK: No promises, Mike.
So, class, what did we learn?
We learned that the Caps are bad at stopping breakaways. We learned that they need more discipline. We learned that the glass around the ice needs to be like five feet taller. We learned that Mike Milbury is a blowhard.
Wait, we knew all that stuff already.
Shoot. We learned nothing tonight. And the Caps let another pair of standings points escape them.
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