kuznetsove-packing

For everyone hoping Evgeny Kuznetsov would be in Washington as soon as the Olympics ended: he will not. On Monday, Kuznetsov invited Russian rapper Basta to the last four Traktor home games of the season. Also, Traktor appears likely to squeak into the playoffs as the Eastern Conference’s number eight seed.

So obviously, he won’t be coming over right away, but Kuznetsnov wants everyone to know it’ll happen “very soon.”

The rapper, Basta, also goes by the handle N1NT3ND0, which is very AOL 1999 of him. His work appeared on the GTA IV soundtrack. Here is a little taste:

On Monday, Kuzya still wanted to let the world know that he’s moving.

“Moving sucks,” Kuznetsov tweeted with the accompanying photo above, immediately sending Russian news outlets into crisis mode.

An hour later he clarified that he is moving to a new place in Chelyabinsk.

“Unfortunately there isn’t much time left for me to live in my new apartment,” Kuznetsov said. “Because very soon I am leaving Russia.”

So American visa? Check.

Kuznetsov’s moving soon? Double check.

All we need now is a tweeted photo of the plane ticket and it’ll be party time.

Now check out some other fun tweets from Kuzya’s non-Olympic vacation.

Translations by Igor Kleyner.

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  • Jake Ettawakapow

    KUZYA!! <333

  • Chris Cerullo

    I literally cannot wait to see him play. I think some new blood could do wonders for this team

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland
  • Chris Cerullo

    His typed english comes with a Russian accent haha. I love it.

  • Freedoooom

    Russian, therefore lying.

    Negotiating tactic.

    Also, Brooks Laich #1. Strip Ovechkin of C and give it to Brooks Laich.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland
  • Jake Ettawakapow

    Preview of his first 2 seasons. :)))

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    I’ll do it so no one else has to

    BELEIVE IT WHEN I SEE IT

    ANTOTHER RUSSIAN DIVA NO THANKS

    ALL HYPE ITS JUST SEMIN AALL OVER AGAIN

    SO SICK OF THESE GUY ALREADY

  • Freedoooom

    I already did it.

  • https://twitter.com/Haddaweezy Holy_Cal

    You forgot:

    DOES HE PLAY DEFENCE!1!!!!?/?

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    I’d be happy with 10 goals and 30 assists in his first season.

  • Chris Cerullo

    WHAT’S HIS PLUS/MINUS IN THE KHL

  • Jake Ettawakapow

    Me too.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    MINUS-9!!! PANIC!!!

  • Ben Reed

    I would most definitely NOT be happy with those totals…but I wouldn’t be surprised.

  • Shawn Murphy

    WHY IS HE SO ENIGMATIC?!
    What does he think he is, an electro-mechanical rotor cipher machines used in world war 2 for enciphering and deciphering secret messages?!

  • Chris Cerullo

    Welp he sucks. Better trade him for one of those tough Canadian boys.

  • Jimmie

    Help me out here, fellow Machiners (Machinists? What do we call fans of RMNB, exactly?). Is this guy worth all the drama?

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    I’ve been trying to figure out the “name of RMNB reader” thing for years. I’m at a loss.

    As for #2, depends on how much drama you’ve taken from it. He’s a good player who — if healthy– could be a 40-point guy.

    He could also be washout given his repeated shoulder injuries.

  • Igor Kleyner

    “I’ve been trying to figure out the “name of RMNB reader” thing for years. I’m at a loss.” Easy – Русские Машинисты

  • Brouwer Rangers

    Quick someone p’shop Ian’s head onto Christian Bale’s gross Machinist body.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Oh.

    Good.

    Problem solved.

  • Todd N

    how big is he? he looks kinda of scrawny

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Absolutely.

    He’s got great speed, he can forecheck well, great stickhandler, he’s an unreal playmaker. He also has a hard, deceptive shot. I think he’d be a perfect fit on the first line with Backstrom and Ovechkin.

    I think he has the potential to be a 50-70 point player down the road (30 or 40 next year) if he stays healthy.

    But let’s see how he’s used by Oates, and let’s see how he handles the more physical play of the NHL. Let’s hope he can stay healthy.

  • Chris Cerullo

    Eliteprospects tells me 6’1, 198. I have a hard time believing he’s 200 pounds though.

  • Arttu Jurvakainen

    MISSED A GAME?! INJURY-PRONE?! DISCIPLINE PROBLEMS?!

    Oh hell no, I ain’t having none of this. Better trade him for someone SOLID. Maybe Edmonton is willing to move Matt Hendricks?

    edit. typo

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    He’s put on some muscle. He’s not scrawny anymore.

  • Todd N

    yeah especially that last pic

  • Gersh21

    Wow he’s so good he played the full season. Did we miss something and he’s on an imaginary 5th line?

  • Patrick H

    Soooo will he play in the 2013-14 season?

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    That’d be a great season from a first year player in the NHL. I’m just trying to keep the expectations in check and keeps it reals.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Yes, that appears to be his plan.

  • Michael Reschly

    Does that cause cap problems?

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    50-70 is a pretty tall order. http://hkref.com/tiny/5OCC9

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    It’ll be close this season, but I’m sure GMGM has been planning for this year to be the year for awhile now, so I’m sure he has a plan.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    If he gets utilized like Johansson (which I think he will eventually), I think it’ll happen. Johansson is well on his way to a 50 point season this year.

    http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php?pid=98452

  • Michael Reschly

    As the caps have (approximately) 0 in cap space, then they would have to trade someone to make room for him, right? Same situation as the start of the season with keeping Wilson on the roster? Is there some sort of ‘he’s only playing for 1/4th the season, so his hit is 1/4th as much’ rule?

    Though I admit that the gap between ‘Projection’, ‘Today’, and ‘Deadline’ at http://capgeek.com/capitals/ confuse me, especially since the difference between Projection and Today is more than the sum of LTIR hits.

  • Michael Reschly

    What about ‘cogs’ or ‘gears’ (parts of the machine)?

  • Matt Lauer

    I really want to be super-enthused about Kuzya, and generally speaking, I think I am. But then I have Alexander Volchkov in the back of my mind. Oy.

  • Matt Lauer

    Depends on who he plays with, but I’m going to throw caution to the wind and be optimistic here.

  • Graham Dumas

    Is that last tweet from the Moscow Metro or something?

    http://ladaray.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/moscow_metro.jpg

  • MuzzMuzzington

    The beginning of that music video made me feel like. I was about to watch a 1980′s cop drama.

  • Diller M

    If we could only have a tough canadian grinding forward from a proven winner who could chip in 15-20 goals a year that would put us over the top… Definitely, right Mike?

  • Diller M

    Is Troy brower available? Oh wait…

  • Graham Dumas

    Does that mean we all have to start listening to shanson?

  • THEOLDROT

    No, he isn’t. Hassett, below, is corr3ect.

  • Blightness

    About fucking time. I am getting too excited over this!

  • Nic

    6.3 and 176lb

  • johnnymorte

    I would like to see him paired with Grabo if we can retain him. The possibility of two real scoring lines is absolutely titillating.

  • Sweedish Silk

    What about forsberg?

  • Rhino40

    Stop teasing us, Kuzya

  • RT23

    That sounds good assuming by first season you mean the last 8 games of this year after he shows up. 10G and 30A in 2 weeks should help us with that late playoff push. :)

  • Sergey Popov

    Looks like some hotel lobby to me

  • airbus1094

    I know he’s excited and all to go to DC, and that he did a favor to traktor for staying this season, but show some respect to your current team. Still can’t decide whether to love or hate this guy.

  • Troy

    Kuzya, I don’t think you understand, there are only 23 games left and NOBODY ELSE BUT OVECHKIN CAN SCORE ON OUR TEAM. S.O.S. HELP! COME NOW!