RMNB on CRL: Inside Joe B’s Suit of the Night


We’ve let Ian have the fun long enough. He’s played video games with Tom Wilson and poured “wine” over his head with Olie Kolzig. For Russian Machine’s third CRL segment, I was determined to bring some respectability back to the blog. And what’s more respectable than a four figure suit.

As you guys know, we’ve been tracking Joe B.’s suit of the night for years. We have an unhealthy obsession with how the guy looks. Thankfully, Joe B. wasn’t creeped out too much.

Two weeks ago, I joined Beninati and Alan May at DePandi, his tailor’s shop in Chevy Chase. Joe B. brought along a number of his favorite suits to show us, as well as a few to try on me. Yeah, I got dressed by Joe Beninati. Be jealous.


Some observations.

  • My first take consisted of zero legible words. Lucky for me, Joe B. and Alan are total pros and helped me speak actual sentences into the camera.
  • Joe B’s tailor, Eduardo DePandi, is the literally the most Italian man you will ever meet.
  • I was told to “dress like a blogger” for the shoot. Otherwise I would have appeared in my usual hipster plaid and corduroys instead of that ratty t-shirt. (You can still buy that ratty t-shirt from our store.)
  • Fun fact: both Alan and Craig Laughlin are color blind. Ascribe any and all poor fashion choices to that.
  • Finally, Joe B. is an awesome dude. He bought me the tie I modeled in the video and gave it to me at Kettler the next morning. I wore it to the next Caps game.


GIFs by Ian Oland

Tagged with:
  • This is literally the greatest.

  • ATPinDC

    Great piece! Joe is awesome. I do wonder, if he’s colorblind, does he just avoid everything in the red family to avoid clashing?

    Is that tailor Giuliana (DiPandi) Rancic’s dad? I don’t know why that is significant, other than it’s always fun to find known people’s Caps connections.

  • Dat head nod.

  • Igor Kleyner

    Главное, чтобы костюмчик сидел!


  • Joe in SS

    My jaw is on the ground in amazement, jealousy, and awe of this segment. Just another case of Joe B inspired amawlousy.

  • Chris Cerullo

    I do like that tie

  • Wut.

  • Is that guy in a chicken suit? Igor can you talk English again?

  • Fedor

    Plusing like crazy.

  • Katie Brown

    Total Hassett move. “‘Sup?”

  • Brouwer Rangers

    This. Is. Awesome. And I haven’t even watched it yet.

  • Igor Kleyner

    From iconic Soviet era movie Charodei (Enchanters?) – the song title is “Song about a suit”, and they just basically keep repeating the same refrain over and over – “It is most important that a suit fits”. Btw, my recollection is vague but I think they are dressing this guy for a wedding. [Ian, are you paying attention? Wedding suit!?]

  • The total Hassett move would be for him to be wearing Zubaz.

  • I’m never really paying attention, but sure.

  • Did you get to keep the suit?

  • Igor Kleyner

    Is this in 1% of my attempts at humor that pass your test? 🙂

  • Igor Kleyner

    Just send Ashley the link and say: “My dearest, I love you, can you get me one of these to wear to our wedding?”

  • Fedor

    Yeah, that’s weak by your standards of humor intellect.

  • Katie Brown

    Please, Ian. That’s a given. You’ve obviously never been “‘sup”-ed before.

  • ??

  • Your stupid.

  • It’s worth more than me.

  • Katie Brown

    No, Ian.

  • Okay, done and done.

  • Joe isn’t the one who’s colorblind, it’s Alan and Locker. But good question.

  • Igor Kleyner

    I suspect your wedding guest list may be getting shorter. By one.

  • Igor Kleyner

    Is that line still a thing? Like, I could drop it in a conversation and people wouldn’t look at me any weirder than otherwise?

  • Roman Z.


  • yore

  • JenniferH

    So very, very awesome. Sitting here with a HUGE grin on my face. 😀

  • brian!

    For some reason I was reminded of this Dilbert strip: http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1996-12-31/

  • GuestZ

    Joe’s not wearing paisley. I don’t think he was being 100% here…

  • ATPinDC

    Oops! I misread. So, who dresses Alan and Locker? Or do they just avoid anything that isn’t Caps red?