maria-driving

A very low-res photo of Angry Maria.

When we last shared a motor vehicle with Alex Ovechkin, he was putting his mobile device in Evgeny Kuznetsov‘s face while the prospect drove them to Verizon Center. While we noted that Ovechkin’s video was funny, it was also, ya know, pretty dangerous.

On Sunday, as Ovechkin’s fiancee Maria Kirilenko drove Ovechkin and Kuznetsov back to their Virginia home, the Russian machine whipped out his iPhone and started recording again. Seeing as the Capitals week-long road trip was finally over and five out of six standings points were earned, it probably seemed like a good time for more funny faces.

Who is the person in the Russia hat? Dmitry Orlov, is that you?

Maria, who is normal, was not amused.

Ovechkin: “Masha, why are you so displeased?”

Kirilenko: “Sasha, you are going to drive now. I am going to pull over, and you are going to drive.”

It’s almost like Maria realizes she is carrying two great hockey players and she should therefore concentrate on the road.

Later, Maria responded by posting an Instagram video of her own. No worries, their love is not on the rocks with no ice.

“Oh my God, how all of you became so interested that I can even be dissatisfied. It’s all nonsense, don’t listen to the rumors, look at what my love gave me.”

Later, Ovechkin took a selfie of himself shirtless (of course) in bed with Kirilenko, with the following caption.

Now she happy with new gift from Los Angeles ))haha good night)))) @mkirilenko87 love,i hope u love me to??;) [sic unbelievable]

Aside from the whole world-famous athletes thing, Ovechkin and Kirilenko’s relationship is pretty banal. Immature guy is immature. Immature guy annoys pretty girl. Immature guy buys pretty girl jewelry. Lovers’ quarrel quashed.

Translations by Igor Kleyner.

  • Diller M

    I can only imagine what it must be like at home. This is fantastic. Must show to my wife…

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    I’m going to go ahead and take a bow for my awesome Darkness reference above.

  • Zachary Mott

    +1 for “sic unbelievable”.

  • Jeff Yoders

    Seems like they’re really happy and love one another, no matter what.

  • Jake Ettawakapow

    She’s perfect. Ovie lucky hahaha. Maria Ovechkin. She is gonna take his last name isn’t she? lol

  • Gemmy

    Thanks for the translation of the car video – I was wondering what was going on there. I’m guessing the black box contained those pretty earrings Maria is wearing in the last photo – no earrings in the middle video.

  • Lawrence

    Wait, did people really think that their relationship was really in danger because of this video? LOL wth? You really think if their relationship was having issues they would post a video about it joking on their instagram? Ugh, people annoy me sometimes.

    It was funny as crap and maybe that was that Gus (who is he!!!!?) character in the hat.

  • Shmoo

    You’re Really Growing on Me, Ian. Like a new love or a venereal disease.

  • Shmoo

    Seems like they might both be 13 emotionally, but they’re happy so yay )))

  • Jonah

    S/O to Maria for putting her foot down though. I don’t think many famous athletes wives are that assertive, especially with someone who has the star power of OV.
    Also I get the feeling that she is the “mother” right now of OV and kuzya.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    If I could give you a million upvotes I would, Shmoo.

  • Myan

    She might not! Maria Kirilenko is a pretty big name in tennis. She could totally go the Justine Henin Hardenne route & be Maria Kirilenko Ovechkina.

  • Myan

    Seems like Kuzya was amused as if Maria was annoyed about something pretty insignificant…normal couple’s squabble!

  • http://www.deniswymer.com Hokeyschmoke

    I like that you guys are Holding Your Own.

  • Roman Z.

    My upvote goes to you for getting the female version of Ovechkin’s last name right!

  • Myan

    Dinara Safina, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Vera Zvonereva, Maria Sharapova…I caught onto the pattern ;)

  • Catherine__M

    You never do know. I know of two couples that had obvious knock-down fights over Facebook–over really serious stuff too (child-rearing decisions; wedding invite list involving un-inviting friends of one party because they expressed disapproval of the controlling nature of the other party).

    They both started as what appeared to be mild jokes/playing around/ posing what-if questions to the crowd, and quickly it became clear that the posts were serious passive-aggressive uppings of the antes. That devolved really badly (the kind of displays that make you thank your lucky stars that you never did marry X because you’re pretty sure it would look like just like this).

    And these are otherwise normal, stable 30 year olds. With some pretty high level careers and impressive educations (not that it makes a huge difference but I’m distinguisihg from the dramaqueen just-out-of-the-teens types).

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    I just want Eveeeerrrrrrybooodddddy to have a good time.

  • Chris Cerullo

    Kuzya and Dima have brought back some glimpses of young insane Ovi.

  • Shmoo

    Good news everyone! Beers at Verizon Center now count as upvotes. Cheers, Ian.

  • JenniferH

    Good for her, I thought during the first instagram, laughed my ass off through the rest. Then just shook my head. Crazy kids.

  • BPThomas

    I annoy my wife about 90% of the time and cuddle with her the other 10%, roughly. Don’t read to much into it, people!

  • MuzzMuzzington

    I think you are selling her short when talking about star power. Maria was the highest paid tennis player in the world over this last year. She has an estimated net worth of $185 million. Ovi’s net worth is $30 million.

  • Jake Ettawakapow

    Thanks babe.

  • Troy

    C’mon maria, we know when Ovi has great time he scores great goals…. remember Semin/Ovi/Fedorov/Kozlov Russian Power?!?!
    Just let Kuzy become the next best Ovi facilitator, and Backstrom becomes and OVERALL center ice player with Penner/Brouwer or someone else!
    Kuzy-Grabo-Ovi
    Penner-Backy-Brouwer

  • Troy

    so every time someone sees Ian at the VC, then he owes you a beer and/or beers!

  • Kyle Pollock

    No seatbelt on Kuzy!!! Come on boys be smart