Peter and I don’t watch the NBA, but on Wednesday we supported the Washington Wizards in their victory over Chicago. Hashtag dcRising. Watching basketball has been… an adjustment. I used to play at Frederick High, but the NBA rules don’t resemble the sport I was taught. Peter is just clueless.
The Wizards are winning and it's the second … uhh… half? Quarter? Period? Has anyone caught the snitch yet?
— Peter Hassett (@peterhassett) April 23, 2014
And then this other thing happens, and we’re even more lost.
Here’s Drake lint rolling his fleece pants at the Toronto Raptors game.
GIF by @BenGolliver
You might remember Drake from his rap singing at NHL events. We remember him from when he dated Ashley but then she did E and cheated on him and then she started dressing all goth and Jimmy he realized that he didn’t like Ashley anymore so they broke up but then Jimmy got shot and spent the rest of the series in a wheelchair.
Here’s a question that’s bugging me: did Drake carry a lint roller with him? Did guest services bring him one?
I’d like to think a member of his entourage, maybe his bodyguard, carries a lint roller just for circumstances like this.
In my head:
Drake: Hey, Trev.
Bodyguard: Yeah, Aubrey?
Drake: [Icy stare]
Bodyguard: Sorry, I mean— Yeah, Drake, First name: Greatest, Last name: Ever?
Drake: Better. Now hook me up with that linty rolly.
Bodyguard: Sure thing, boss. Great work at the 2012 NHL All-Star Game, by the way.
[Bodyguard hands Drake the lint roller]
[Drake vigorously lint-rolls his fleece pants]
[Giffers vigorously gif]
Drake: Thanks, pal. I couldn’t do it without your support– or the support of Gavin “Spinner” Mason from Degrassi, who suffered from both ADHD and testicular cancer. Canadian television!
Basketball, man. We’re learning.