great-one-interviewed

Photo: Bruce Bennett

With George McPhee out, the Capitals have a vacancy at the GM slot. But all the buzz in recent days has been about a position higher than that: the newfangled President of Hockey Operations, which sounds to me like general manager, but what do I know?

I’m sure you’ve heard the scuttlebutt. Word on the street is the Caps might bring in one of the biggest names in sports to become the big boss in Arlington. A real pro star, if you catch my drift.

I’m here to say that’s a real good idea. Actually, it’s a great one.

The Caps have a reputation for rummaging through the alumni lists when staffing up. That hasn’t worked, obviously, but looking beyond the familiar borders this time might serve them well.

So too would upping the star power. I mean, this name is one of the biggest ever to play any game anywhere. His name is synonymous with work ethic and longevity and integrity. He started his career as hot as anyone ever did, and he went on establish himself as one of the most respected men ever to suit up.

And those blue eyes. I mean, come on.

At age 53, he’s seen enough to know how to run a team. He’s even had first-hand experience– but for whatever reason, doing the job at the highest level has eluded him.

Now look at all the things he’s got in common with the Great Eight, Alex Ovechkin. I think Alex could learn a lot from this potential new hire: his work ethic, his wisdom as a leader, his experience in dealing with an under-performing franchise. I can’t think of a better mentor for Ovi.

So when I saw this man, this wonderful, wonderful man, attending a Caps game recently, I have to admit I got excited. Imagining this titan of the sports world, with his history of winning championships and his wealth of personal and professional connections, guiding the Washington Capitals– that just seems perfect.

The Caps should totally hire Cal Ripken.

cal-ripken-jr

 
  • Marky Narc

    Oh you.

  • Brouwer Rangers
  • Mark Chaffer

    TROLLED SO HARD

  • Brouwer Rangers

    But should that be “… his history of winning championship and …”?

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    /reaches for banhammer

  • Rob W.

    Excellent trolling from Peter but seriously, hire him

  • Steve

    Seriously. Well-played. Should we take guesses on the RMNB headline when another-very-similar-but-not-to-be-named-former-athletic-superstar-hockey-great IS confirmed as GM? “Caps double down on black 99″? Maybe “99 reasons the Caps will succeed and the GM ain’t one”?

  • accidental_diva

    ::snort:: not the worst idea though…

  • Sarah

    Man I love RMNB. The talent. The work ethic. And there’s this adorable guy with a boyish grin and soulful brown eyes whose work never fails to amaze. Oh, the art he produces! The intelligence and wit! It’s enough to keep you coming back for more all the time.
    Chris Gordon, you rock.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland
  • Alex

    YEAH!!! …wait, what?

  • Steven Lemmeyer

    I love how everything perfectly coincides with Gretzky but allows that last minute curve ball of Cal. http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/44961864.jpg

  • Smiley456

    My calendar is wrong, It tell me it’s May 8th.

  • Diller M

    LOVE the Prostars refference, the babies have no idea what you are talking about…
    .

  • https://twitter.com/Haddaweezy Holy_Cal

    And if Cal is the new GM maybe we get the Winter Classic at OPaCY!

  • Lawrence

    Haha well played, but I don’t think I’d mind this at our games:

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/01/04/article-0-1A694A5700000578-628_634x892.jpg

  • Owen Johnson

    Maybe the Baltimore Capitals will play there. The WASHINGTON Capitals should play it at Nats Park.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    omg omg omg I didn’t even think of that angle!

  • Glenn Havinoviski

    And I thought you meant that guy who grew up in Toronto who married the movie star and moved to LA….

  • https://twitter.com/Haddaweezy Holy_Cal

    You must be new; WC at OPaCY is a running gag.

    And realistcally FedEx is the best location in terms of $$$ (more seats, parking, etc etc) and who wouldn’t want to tailgate?

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Me. I’m not paying $80 to Dan Snyder to eat a burger!

  • https://twitter.com/Haddaweezy Holy_Cal

    Just give him the money so he can pay more people to cut down stupid trees blocking his view.

  • Sam W.

    Haha. Yes.

  • JH

    You…youuu…

    Here I was all fired up to accuse you of Snyderism. Damn.

  • Mike Reppenhagen

    I saw it coming all the way, and it was still excellent.

  • Graham Dumas

    “Actually, it’s a great one.” I get what you did, there…

  • Jon A

    I vote for Cal Ripken for President… of Hockey Operations for the Caps!

  • Owen Johnson

    He doesn’t need our money. He can just sue old ladies who can’t renew their tickets

  • https://twitter.com/Haddaweezy Holy_Cal

    News flash: Teddy Westside doesn’t need our money either… He can just arbitrarily hike up Wizards tickets even more now that people feign interest in them again.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett
  • https://twitter.com/Haddaweezy Holy_Cal

    Phew! Someone knows about Teddy Westside.

  • Shmoo

    Downvote, because nightmares.

  • Shmoo

    sung by Neil Cubic Zirconia? Needs more Caroline Kennedy.

  • Jared

    Troll ad trolling chubby Cal on troll post. #Inception

  • capsfansteve

    Troll status: epic. hahahahahaha

  • Fred Merc

    Ughhh…
    Hoping it is all a bad joke.
    You should apply the same scrutiny to 99′s management and coaching accomplishments that you did to GMGM and Oates. Gretzky as coach made Oates look like Scotty Bowman! He helped run a team into bankruptcy, resigned/quit (actually just didn’t bother to show up for training camp once bankruptcy was filed) then blackmailed the league into giving him $7 mil when the judge threw his ridiculous case out of court!
    No thanks.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    haha

    I’m glad you came back to edit that

  • VeggieTart

    But Nats Park is actually IN DC and is about one block from a Metro station.

  • https://twitter.com/Haddaweezy Holy_Cal

    “In dc” is such a bullshit term, how many Caps fans actually live in DC? Or even inside the beltway for that matter?

    Also FedEx has a metro stop too; it’s Morgan Blvd and it’s not a bad walk.

  • Fred Merc

    Yeah, He got me good, and I even read all the way to the end and still got trolled.