jaromir-jagr-chair

If we ignore his time with the Washington Capitals (which I recommend), Jaromir Jagr has been one of the greatest players in hockey history. He’s scored 700+ goals, won two Stanley Cups, and led the league in points five times. He also gave hockey the hockey mullet, which the sport still treasures twenty years later.

Last week, one chapter of Jagr’s career ended when the Czech Republic lost 3-0 to Sweden in the bronze medal game of the World Championships. After the game, a medal-less Jagr announced his retirement from international competition. I’m sure that made people sad; I just don’t know who those people are. Jagr will play one more season in the NHL with the New Jersey Devils.

In his honor, let’s remember Jagr’s final moments in this year’s tournament.

Behold! His penalty box meltdown against the Finns.

No, no, no. Video? No.

GIFs! I need GIFs! And I need them in EXTRA-DRAMATIC black and white.

It’s like Fritz Lang shooting hockey.

I’m going to stare at these for the next hour.

Your tears are delicious, Jaromir. (GIFs by hanifins)

It’s funny. If Jagr had shown a fraction of this passion while in D.C., I probably wouldn’t be writing this now. Then again, we also wouldn’t be called RMNB.

xoxoxo

jagr-mad

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  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland
  • Sarah

    I don’t blame him for being frustrated. Even my cat couldn’t be bothered with the Czech coach.

  • Barrett

    this isn’t a meltdown, this is a tantrum. a meltdown would be breaking objects by smashing his stick, throwing his helmet, etc. you cannot have a meltdown when it consists of throwing a towel and a water bottle(?).

  • Sarah

    I agree. I think our standards for meltdowns have declined in DC from having a squad of pretty cool-headed guys (like Jagr usually is, too). Some places in the league this “meltdown” would barely raise an eyebrow.

  • AF

    Can someone post Ovi’s destruction of Jagr at Olympics?
    For ol’ times sake?

  • Dude

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcCrpH6mcTY I was just watching this and thought that you might want to see 3:27 … Maybe you already knew? :D

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    I love you for defending him. His dashboard stats weren’t horrible when he was here totally. My biggest problem with him was he sank the team by himself with his poo poo attitude.

  • Barrett

    yeah he did, but can you blame him? it isn’t like the team was ripe with talent during his 2-1/2 years here. the names on those rosters sound great and all (mostly because they are rich in Capitals tradition) but overall weren’t very good players or were on the down-side of their careers.

    shocking discovery i made while looking up that 35 goal scorer stat was during the 2005-2006 season former captain Chris Clark was a 30 goal scorer. i don’t remember that happening at all.

  • Ash

    I’m pretty sure that was 2006-2007. Same time he was playing on the top line with Ovi and Zubrus. COINCIDENCE?!

    …seriously, the fact Ovi dragged Chris Clark into a 30 goal season still astounds me.

  • Ash

    Also, I see your argument and all, but my heart is not softened. Fuck Jagr. Fuck him right in the ear.

  • Barrett

    Good catch. Thanks!

  • Sarah

    I know not everybody is awesome enough to write RMNB and impress girls, but these people really need to raise their game.

  • t

    Ian, I was born in the Czech Republic in 1990… so Jagr has been playing in the NHL and representing the Czech Republic literally my entire life. He will definitely be missed by all us Czechs!