Jeff Schultz is Going to the Stanley Cup Finals

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Alec Martinez’s game-winning goal, scored 5:47 into overtime on Sunday night, has sent the Los Angeles Kings Jeff Schultz to the Stanley Cup Finals.

A month ago this was a joke. It is now real life.

Sarge did not dress for the Los Angeles Kings in game seven last night, but he did make a brief five-second cameo at the very end of the game. It was special.

Watch as an animated Mr. Nasty (so much has changed) gives pats to the back to his teammates.

I dig the purple tie.

Then Sarge exits into darkness, not unlike the existential crisis I’m currently experiencing.

Schultz, who was picked 27th overall by the Washington Capitals in the 2004 NHL Draft, has beat the first overall draft pick that year, Alex Ovechkin, to the Finals. Fun fact: Schultz makes $9 million less than Ovi.

I know what you’re thinking. Will Mr. Nasty (and hopefully it’s his nickname) get his name on the Cup? Maybe.

Schultz has played 7 games for the Kings in the NHL playoffs, racking up multiple hits in five of them.

Please excuse me while I go chug some Pepto Bismol.

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  • Rob W.

    The hockey gods have a sense of humor..

  • Doug

    A pretty cruel one.

  • DashingDave314
  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    I’m glad you asked. Yes, Jeff Schultz is a minus-1 through 7 games this postseason.

  • Sarah

    Pepto-Bismol is good for existential crises.

  • DashingDave314

    I’d like to point out that Ovechkin has a better +/- in this year’s playoffs than Schultz!

  • Rob W.

    I think we need to sacrifice a chicken or something to get them to love caps fans again

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    hold on, I’m gonna use the new “Featured comment” thing here.

  • Simonezero

    Real life is scary sometimes.

    Whatevs, go Kings.

    http://theroyalhalf.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/QuickSmile.gif

  • DashingDave314
  • Katie Brown
  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett
  • JenCo

    Alan May (from some recent radio interviews) seems to think that the separation of Shultz and Greenie, was the major cause on their individual downward spiral on the Blue Line. Green of course was injured for a portion of time…but you RMNB stat guys would know better than me if there was any merit to that belief.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    TEACH ME TEACH ME

  • Steven Lemmeyer
  • Katie Brown
  • Marky Narc

    There is nothing I want more than for Jeff “Mr. Nasty Double Nickel” Schultz to get his name inscribed on Lord Stanley’s god damn trophy.

  • Barrett

    If anyone roots for the Rags to hoist the cup over the LA Kings needs to get the F out. You NEVER root for a division rival! I’ll be damned if I ever cheer for the Cowboys to win the Lombardi Trophy! Go Kings go!!

  • Anthony Elworthy

    I’m proceeding to get the F out.

  • JoeA

    This is so great for double nickle!

    I love everything about this.

    Amazing to think that the King have a system in place that works for many types of defensive players. It’s as if Schultz wasn’t the problem here in DC, and perhaps the bad defense systems were more to blame.

    Good thing the Caps had Carrick and Erskine for so much of the season. Their grit and toughness was certainly the answer to Mr. Nasty.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    AND STAY OUT

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    1. click the little hover menu dude at the right side of the comment and select “feature this comment”
    2. ???
    3. PROFIT

  • VeggieTart

    This is just one reason I was rooting against LA. Hope those of you who were rooting for the Kings are happy now.

  • Red

    This is one of those sad unfunny jokes…

  • Red

    I rooted for the Rags against the Habs for obvious reasons. I fear I must suppress my nausea and cheer on the dbags once again simply because:
    1. They are MASSIVE underdogs
    2. LA just won the cup. I mean, come on!
    3. Jeff Schultz

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Schultz was probably a passenger on Green’s (always and still) excellent possession pairing.

    http://stats.hockeyanalysis.com/showplayer.php?pid=539&withagainst=true&season=2007-14&sit=5v5

    Together, they got 53.8 of shot attempts.
    Without Schultz, Green still got 54.3.
    Without Green, Schultz got 50.1.

    Schultz isn’t anything special, but he’s still better than most of the D the team used last season.

  • JH

    Per a comment way way farther down…what have we done to offend the hockey gods? Curses like the Bambino or the Goat are obvious in their genesis, but we seem to have no tangible moment where the hockey gods were crossed. Perplexing.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Yeah, I don’t have that. Booooo. Peter gets all the cool toys.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    No, it’s pretty funny.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Try it on another thread. This one already has a featured comment.

  • Sam W.

    Jeff Schultz and his frosted tips back on Draft Day 2004…

  • Stevarooni

    Again?
    I have the same pain I’ve always had from following the Caps but I don’t think it’s “love” despite what the gods tell me

  • Rob W.

    They loved us during the 09-10 regular season, the love was short but beautiful

  • Roman Z.

    Peter, who took my underpants?!

  • Sarah

    Maybe sacrifice a bucket of wings?

  • Barrett

    1. You have “MASSIVE” right, but you misspelled “douche bags”.
    2. LA did just win the cup, but LA and 99% of their fans are 2700 miles away. The Capitals only face them twice a year as opposed to playing the Rangers four to fives times per year based on the schedule rotation. We also have to live with their annoying fanbase on regular basis.
    3. Who cares, he won’t see the ice unless a Kings d-man is injured.
    4. What life story? He already has his name engraved on the cup.

  • Ahem
  • VeggieTart

    If it makes you feel better, I’m not rooting for the Rangers but against the Kings.

  • Matilda W.

    I’m out then.
    Nah, but I love Lundqvist (and I’m swedish so i’m obligated to)
    And I live in LA, and I REALLY don’t like the kings nor their fan base and all that.
    So for me Rangers > Kings any day of the week.

  • Rhino40

    Well Said. My Interest in the East was chilled -100 °F when the Caps didn’t make the playoffs.

    By the time it was down to NYR-MTL my interest in the East side of the ledger was chilled to the entropic nadir of -273.15 °C (0°K).

    Seriously, when forced to choose between a) The team from the town that spawned the evil baseball empire that is the Yankees and b) the team that is basically the NHL’s version of the Yankees, whom was I supposed to root for anyway?

    Answer: Neither. Hence my pivot to the West:

    St. Louis? I respect this team, and would have been OK with them winning the Cup since their drought is even longer than the Caps’. But they got bounced by Chicago…

    San Jose? Maybe–after all, they were due, being always-a-bridesmaid. But they got beat by the Ducks

    Minnesota? I’d have been OK with them too, but they didn’t have the horses to beat the ‘hawks.

    I’d have even been OK with the Ducks, for for the chance to see the #perrycelly to end all perrycellys, not to mention Bruce Boudreau possibly exceeding a 4-inch vertical leap.

    As for Chicago, they had just won their second Cup in four years..again on a lucky-bounce-to-Patrick-Kane’s-stick-and-it’s-in-the-net-and-nobody-knows-it-but-him-and-oh-by-the-way-game-set-and-match-Blackhawks. When they nullified the Wild’s valiant, hardworking effort in the very same manner, I was forced to officially despise them.

    So yeah, I’m for the Kings…until the Draft, anyway :)

  • Rhino40

    Also, the Kings have a locomotive horn for a goal horn, which is cool, while at the same time they do not have that Goddam Obnoxious And Annoying Goalsong

  • Rhino40

    Not sure about that. I think it was when Scott Stevens and three other Caps (who would eventually go on to win Cups elsewhere) were traded/allowed to walk…for no good reason.

  • Greg Schmidt

    Go Rags!

    I root for three teams; the Caps first and foremost, the Rangers, and whoever is playing the Flyers.

  • Steve

    Everyone thinks the rangers are rivals with the caps, but I don’t feel that way at all. I hate the rangers and their stupid goal horn song when we play them, but I wouldn’t mind seeing Lundqvist steal a cup. The guy has been waiting patiently for a long time. We should be rivals with the Rangers, but I don’t feel that way at all.

  • Red

    Clearly you haven’t been paying attention.

    Marty’s mother died the night before game 5 of the Pens series, and instead of crying about it (which all of us would have done) he was on the ice the following day and has been absolutely dominating since then. He was able to channel his grief in a positive way and has become the heart and soul of the Rangers (which they were missing since Callahan’s departure). That’s beside the fact that St. Louis is an aging veteran who’s looking for his last chance at glory before the sun sets on his illustrious career.

    Put away the hate, brother, and enjoy a rare beautiful moment in life.

  • Adam Johnson

    I want the Kings to win in 7 games, it’d be epic to see a teams entire playoffs go into 7 games. And screw the Rangers, only Lundqvist is worth a damn.

  • Barrett

    Clearly I have.

    His mother passing away suddenly is terrible, but that’s not Martin St. Louis’ life story. His life story is always being over-looked and under-valued due to his size. He has overcome that and become one of the better hockey players of the last decade helping lead that 2004 Lightning team to a Stanley Cup win.

    Both teams have aging veterans on their rosters. You think guys like Willie Mitchell or Robyn Regehr don’t want their names on the cup (Mitchell already has his from the last LA win)?

    You think Marian Gaborik doesn’t want to stick it to the Rangers?

    This isn’t hate for Martin St. Louis or any of the players on the Rangers. This is an extreme dislike for a division rival. I actually like watching guys like Lundqvist, Nash, St. Louis and Richards play the game.

  • Barrett

    We are rivals because we are in the same division (currently) and have faced them in the playoffs four of the past six seasons. Three of those matchups went to seven games.

  • Jeremy in Bethesda

    Think about it for a second, Peter. Avery’s gone, Tortorella’s gone (and nothing would hurt him more than the Rangers winning in his first year gone) there really isn’t anything to hate about Lundqvist, Schultz winning the Cup might make the world stop, and the only player left on the Rangers to sorta hate is Boyle. Plus Gaborik is easy to hate and he’s a King now.

  • Red

    At no point did I say “life story”. You keep replying to a point I never made because you failed to read my initial comment properly. I was simply stating that in the (current) playoffs, Marty’s (current) story is the one that resonates with me the most, and as a result makes me sympathetic to his cause.

    I’m perplexed by the overall purpose of your comments. Are you trying to convince me to cheer for LA? I was just stating a few subjective reasons why I personally (not anybody else) will be rooting for NY. I have this nagging feeling like I’m being dragged into a pointless argument over nothing, while you’re being unnecessarily pedantic. Therefore I bid you g’day.