We Need to Hear From You: RMNB 2014 Survey

Hey, guys. We need your help!

We’re going through a lot of changes as a blog. For us to figure out what to do next, we need to learn what’s working and what’s not. We’ve put together a short survey– 10 minutes, tops– that’ll help us do exactly that. (Plus, we really wanna settle the Chipotle/Qdoba argument.) If you could, please take a couple minutes to answer some questions for us.  We’d really really really appreciate it.

Please check out the RMNB 2014 Survey

<3 <3 <3

 
  • Steven Lemmeyer
  • JenniferH

    Gonna fill it out now, but I gotta let you know, I can’t help with this —-> Chipotle/Qdoba <—- at all, as I've never eaten at either place. Sorry.

  • DashingDave314

    Fundraising idea: Make Ian eat Chipotle!

  • DashingDave314

    Chipotle is better.

  • Kate Jamison

    !@#$%^&*(&^%$)$#@! I accidentally hit return after answering the first question, for God knows what reason, and it took me to the Thank you for taking our survey page. Tried to re-take it and it took me to the same “thank you” page. Day ruined!

  • Catherine__M

    Just answer Chipotle.

  • Austin Baird

    Ian, I know we met up that one time for lunch at Qdoba, but I must confess that I think Chipotle is better.

    That being said, waiting in line for half an hour at Chipotle is awful.

  • Austin Baird

    Also, moar podcasts

  • Chris Trice

    Done

  • Derek Wass

    Even worse. Ian and Peter eat Moes

  • Brouwer Rangers

    Try a different browser. NOT THAT WE’RE GAMING THE SYSTEM!

  • http://twitter.com/1bscarbro Benjamin Scarbro

    I can say the exact opposite thing. Ian and I met at Qdoba, and he showed me the light… But I agree, more podcasts would be great.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    BETRAYAL!!!

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    (In all honesty, that was a funny comment. I’m glad you think for yourself and came to your own conclusion. I just really frigging love Qdoba. It’s perfect to me and I’m okay if I’m the only guy in the world waving that flag.)

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Whatever’ll pay the bills.

  • Evan Griffith

    try a different “brouwser” – sorry

  • Evan Griffith

    chipotle is good. ive never heard of qdoba

  • http://twitter.com/1bscarbro Benjamin Scarbro

    I think the question behind all of this is “how can we make this work (moar/better)?” Can we use the thread to brainstrom (sic) monetization options?

  • http://twitter.com/1bscarbro Benjamin Scarbro

    I mean obvious ones are:
    Ads
    Kickstart / IndieGoGo
    Bake Sale
    CRL (if they pay you, keep doing that)
    Use more media like youtube where you can place more ads.
    Charge for the party

  • Brouwer Rangers

    dang we’re off our game – should’ve seen that

  • Please don’t

    Eat chipotle wearing spandex? Where is your god now?

  • Topher Gee

    You guys are in the perfect niche in between dramatic fans and homer biased analysts… I love it!

    WELCOME TO MOES?!

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Yes, of course. Have fun. This blog is as much yours as it is ours and we really want to hear what you guys would like for us to try.

  • Alli S.

    Where should we host our next party?
    Rent out the Chipotle next to the Verizon Center

  • IT’S ALL OURS

    So RMNB is now communist? Talk about dedication to the craft.

  • Austin Baird

    I still regularly patronize Qdoba since it is closer to work and very, very good. It IS close though. And both are way better than say, Moe’s

    (Sometimes I think I analyze food too much)

  • http://twitter.com/1bscarbro Benjamin Scarbro

    What about instead of parties, you all did a pre-game “presser” thing, and fans (before the game) come to hear you guys and neil and japers debate crap. donations or charge entry/

  • Notaferretowner

    My 7yo will wear a RMNB ferret tee, just sayin….;-) Ferrets are cool!

  • Paul Crist

    Qdoba has cheese sauce, and that’s really all that needs to be said.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    o rly

  • http://www.calacirian.org sonja n a

    Chipotle … but I must confess I’ve never tried Qdoba.

  • lilwolf30

    done! I haven’t tried Qdoba yet either….but there seems to be one near me so that’s lunch sometime soon!

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Yes, you should!

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    how is TONIGHT for ya

  • JessHughes

    Thanks for asking what we think!

  • Graham Dumas

    Овечкин с овчаркой…

  • Taylor

    Qdoba has breakfast……

  • Graham Dumas

    DOWNVOTE! There’s a circle in Dante’s Inferno reserved for you fence-sitters.

  • https://twitter.com/Haddaweezy Holy_Cal

    I’ll gladly do this survey, as it might kill 10 minutes of work.

  • Kate Jamison

    Worked…thanks guys!!

  • Lee LeTourneau

    That dog looks violated

  • Darla

    What’s “Qdoba”?

  • nicoley-poley

    An RMNB bake sale! I can picture it now! Brouwnies, Evgeny Kuz-Cake Pops, Jason Chimuffins, and to top it all off, a gigantic Ovechcake, which would be the Ovi RMNB logo as a huge sheet cake.

  • Thomas Conner

    I put “I freaking LOVE this” for everything…oops

  • Thomas Conner

    This is EXCELLENT. Even if it was just a video conference Google Hangout type thing, this would be awesome.

  • Igor Kleyner

    “I’ve never eaten at either place” – and there I was, thinking I was the only one!

  • Thomas Conner

    I would donate to get RMNB merch, even if it was like a dollar for a lanyard or coozie or five for a mug or something.

  • MuzzMuzzington

    I haven’t been to a party, because Texas, so I don’t know if you do these things yet. Throw some parties where you charge a cover and/or get a percentage of drinks sold. Also, bring shirts to sell or other swag to raffle off.

    Do a profit share at a Chipotle? Again, I don’t know if this is possible but in my college town organizations do these all the time at places like Chic Fil A

  • Michael Reschly

    It wasn’t clear how to answer some of the questions. In particular, I don’t really care about prospects (I’m only willing to devote mental space to so many players) and skip those articles. However, I recognize that prospect articles make the site better as a whole, and would never recommend that RMNB stop doing them.

    So is that a ‘no opinion’ or a ‘do not like’?

  • Jonah

    moar podcasts and how about a thing like japers mailbag where like once a week you open up for questions and you answer some on the podcast?

  • Jonah

    chipotle will wrap your burrito in a cheese quesadilla instead of a tortilla.

  • John M

    Have you been to Lime (across from the Verizon Center)? Like it better than either C or Q.

  • Sarah

    Me too. And I stand by it.

  • Sarah

    DC-area Mexican food chain. Kind of a down-market Chipotle.

  • VeggieTart

    Good gravy, no. That is the nastiest place ever. I love Chipotle, but no way in hell will I ever set foot in that dump ever again.

  • Sarah

    Don’t forget the… VICTORY LOAF!

  • Alli S.

    It is by far the grodiest Chipotle that I have been in, but wouldn’t that make it more exciting? Don’t we all need a little more adventure in our lives?

  • Sarah

    Oy, not that kind. Thanks for the warning. Big fan of boredom here in that regard. :)

  • Barrett

    Survey done. Sorry, the sad puppy for the Humane Society on the “thank you” page took the money i was going to donate to you guys.

  • Sarah

    FWIW, everybody, Graham just made the pretty hilarious observation that Ovechkin (whose name is related to the word for sheep in Russian) is being pictured with a shepherd. The dog does not appear to be very much in control of his sheep, though…

  • VeggieTart

    Adventure, yes. But going into a grody (thank you for resurrecting the word) restaurant that is trashed on a daily basis by inconsiderate idiots is not adventurous.

  • Sarah, or maybe it was Sally..

    Make more mental space for hockey. Even if you have to forget your name.

  • Alli S.

    (I hope my sarcasm is oozing into the interwebs.)

  • Owen Johnson

    Um, it is a blog about RUSSIANS after all.

  • Owen Johnson

    I think that is absolutely worth a try, and I think it would be fun. But I would still like the odd 1-3 parties every year because I had fun mingling with the rest of RMNB nation in person.

  • Sarah

    JenniferH lives in Georgia, as I recall… it’s pretty hot, but I wouldn’t call it the inferno, goodness.

  • Owen Johnson

    That’s why you order Chipotle ahead online. Oh yeah, and buy your own guacamole, from, like Trader Joe’s or something so instead of paying $2 for a scoop of guacamole, you pay $3 for as much guacamole as you want
    http://ampp3d.mirror.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Tim-and-Eric-Space-Explosions.gif

  • Boush

    Qdoba is everywhere, I thought. We have them up in the Pittsburgh area, too. Moe’s, as well. Thankfully, Chipotle is here to save us from sub-par burritos.

  • Sarah

    Oh, you’re right. I just hadn’t seen them in Texas because (loud whisper) you can’t serve cruddy burritos in the Lone Star State.

  • Owen Johnson

    Oh that’s what you meant. Sorry.

  • Sarah

    Agree, but better yet, make your own guac. You almost can’t find pre-made guac in stores in Texas, practically nobody buys it. ;)

  • Owen Johnson

    Maybe (if this isn’t a thing you do already), see if some venues will pay you to set up a party. You ARE bringing in money for them after all.

  • Jason

    The problem is, it’s a battle for second place. The superior burrito is found at California Tortilla.

  • Brouwer Rangers

    BROUWNIES!!!

  • Brouwer Rangers

    If there’s one thing twitter needs, it’s more bloggers putting out calls for mailbag questions.

  • Graham Dumas

    Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita,
    Mi ritrovai per una selva oscura,
    Che la diritta via era smarrita.

  • Graham Dumas

    New Russian proverb: The sheep are washing the shepherds.

  • Sarah

    It’s funny either way :D

  • Sydney Brock

    The best burrito is found at a place called Freebirds World Burrito. It is better than Chipotle and Qdoba combined.
    But Chipotle>Qdoba.

  • Sarah

    That’s a pretty good description of New York.

  • Jonah

    if theres one thing twitter needs, its BETTER bloggers putt out calls for mailbag questions. also it looks like the listen! :)

    https://twitter.com/russianmachine/status/474608007071141888

  • Jonah

    step 1. order chipotle online and pay online.
    step 2. order pizza or some other delivery goodies.
    step 3. add in the comments to pick up your order.
    step 4. revel in your excellence.

  • LynneDee1

    I had fun doing that for you. I Really enjoy RMNB. And hope you just keep doing what you do!

  • JH

    Ingredients, atmosphere, smell: Chipotle > Qdoba
    Cleanliness, competency of burrito wrapping: Qdoba > Chipotle

    But I still say overall Chipotle wins, even if the one at 19th and M sucks.

  • Bugs Fire

    Some people (not me, I have given up hope in humanity a long time ago) could find this offensive to various degrees. Ovechkin and Orlov have as much in common with Stalin as Grubauer and Kolzig do with Hitler.

    I know, Godwin’s law, and yet for some reason (jokingly or just in passing) calling Russian person a communist is considered much more acceptable than calling a random German a nazi or or random Italian a fascist.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Sigh. I’ll ignore that last part. Where is Freebirds World Burrito?

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    That can change tomorrow, Igor.

  • Lawrence

    Can you share the results with us? Interested a bit to see that haha

  • Shaun Phillips

    Why would you buy premade guac when you’ve got some of the best ingredients for making it? :) My recipe (pretty simple/standard):
    2:1:0.5 – avocados, tomatoes, onions
    1-2 cloves of garlic/avocado (MOAR GARLIC!)
    1 lemon/3-4 avocados
    salt/pepper to taste

  • Sarah

    Rock on. I usually stick to moar avocado, less of everything else, because I love avocados so much I am happy to eat one plain with a spoon. But (whispering) it’s not nice to talk about this in front of Peter.

  • Red

    …..

  • Steve Killmon

    Done and done. You guys are awesome. Keep doing what you do!

  • Sarah

    It’s a Texas chain. They’re pretty good, although I belong to an unorthodox school of thought (viewed as heresy by the Freebirds faithful) that holds Chipotle is as good or better. Freebirds does have better sauces, but Chipotle’s aren’t bad and I love everything else about them, especially since they now seem to be making some sort of commitment to responsible agriculture. That hooks in suckers like me.

  • Sarah

    Nazism is synonymous with the horrors of the Holocaust. Fascism is synonymous with the abuses of Mussolini’s regime. The approximately 20% of the Russian electorate that currently supports the Communist Party in national elections would probably be very surprised, and a bit insulted, to hear you imply that their vote means they are Stalinists who support the mass murder committed by his regime.
    True, the Communist Party of Russia still venerates Stalin’s birth and death days and maintains the monuments to him, and has raised three new monuments to him throughout the country in the last ten years. But I’m skeptical that the average Communist voter cares so much about his legacy, since as I understand it the average Communist voter is generally a pensioner whose life was more secure in Soviet days, and who is understandably nostalgic for them, or a protest voter who wishes only to vote for the largest of the Opposition parties, rather than for United Russia.
    In other words, while party membership is no longer mandatory, Russia still has a large and robust Communist party, as do many other European nations. This is not a bad thing. I can’t speak for those people who clicked to upvote that and don’t know what all of them mean by that, but referring to the fact that many Russians were and are Communists hardly implies that they are murderous extremists, as the Nazis were.
    I applaud your desire to avoid all stereotypes and hate speech, I just am not sure those comparisons are valid or reflect that poster’s intentions.

  • Alisin Wonderland

    That is fairly close to my recipe! Excellent. If you like it extra creamy, throw in just a tiny teaspoon of sour cream (or just add one more avocado).

  • MuzzMuzzington

    I’ve seen people be ambulanced off on three separate occasions from in front of that Chipotle. Once for being stabbed and I do t know about the other two as I was too entranced in my fried food from Legal Seafood

  • JustinC71

    Chipotle > Qdoba. How is this even a question?

  • Priscilla Villanueva

    finished. lemme know where to send the baked goods.

  • Shaun Phillips

    Yeah I’ve heard of that before, but I think it’s blasphemy to add sour cream to guac. Mexican restaurants always have them separate and I figure they know what they’re doing. :)

  • Shaun Phillips

    I use Roma tomatoes so they’re not super big and you still end up with more avocado (plus, the avocados here in Morocco are massive).

    Sorry Peter! I know the feeling with food allergies (tree nuts, stone fruits, melons, bananas, and cucumbers = no go for me). Since I’ve been in Morocco though the fruits haven’t bothered me which makes me think it’s something in the growing process in the US (pesticide, etc). Tree nuts still are no-go.

  • JenniferH

    Good recall, but dang, the heat has not heat us yet this year. It will come, but Dante has yet to come knocking.

  • serpent

    You’re not. We are legion.

  • John M

    One thing I forgot to mention on the survey…I am impressed with the quality of the (nevertheless fun) discourse on RMNB, not only in the articles but on the comments. I tried to find a similarly independent Blackhawks blog to follow the Western Conference finals, and I was struck by how much coarser the language was. Not that I can’t handle coarse language, but it seemed to be a replacement for coherent thought. I much prefer the sprinkling of high nerd culture instead of expletive. This is a testament not only to you guys but to Caps fans, at least, the ones you’ve attracted.

  • Shaun Phillips

    One thing I’m continuously amazed at on this site is the geographic range of fans of the Caps. How did the Caps get the range? Is it DC transplants or people drawn to the Caps by Ovi, etc?

  • SeminAllOverTheIce

    Man, it’s dead over here too. sigh

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    I totally agree. The great group of people in these comments makes me really happy.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    boo you and boo guac

  • Igor Kleyner

    Well, how about… We eat at BOTH today – and we do shots (vodka, not on goal) from 4 to 5 p.m. on June 28th. Deal?

  • Sarah

    Probably both, probably just the fact that the Caps are awesome. Probably RMNB being awesome. But in my case, it’s because I was raised a hockey fan in Dallas by my best friend’s family, and they’re from DC. My family had never been into hockey (and sadly, despite twenty years of failed efforts on my part, still is not). But the Stars came to town and my best friend’s Dad started taking us to games and I was sold. It was like that Shimmy where she remembers her first Caps game, except it was Dallas and I’m blonde and I was old enough not to have to be carried home.
    So, thank God, I was instructed at an early age that the Caps are The Good Guys in the east, and was a Stars/Caps fan long before I ever moved to DC. The Caps have proselytes everywhere, reaching out to at-risk kids in hockey-deprived homes and providing them with a good hockey upbringing.

  • SeminAllOverTheIce

    Pens going with Rutherford.

  • VeggieTart

    Yet another reason to get the tacos. It’s hard to screw up crispy tacos. The only problem is by the time you walk it back to your office, the shells are falling apart.

  • VeggieTart

    Dammit, does that mean we still have to see Pierre Peckerhead on PeNBC broadcasts?

  • Sarah

    DANG! Who will keep them informed of where everybody went to kindergarten?

  • SeminAllOverTheIce

    yep

  • SeminAllOverTheIce

    And his obsession with the Pens.

  • Shaun Phillips

    Sorry! Like I said, I know the pain of not being able to eat super tasty foods. It sux. At least we both agree that Chipotle is the superior burrito.

  • Sarah

    Right there with you. Can’t have clams or oysters, it’s not life threatening but it’s sure unpleasant. Guac, though… guac is my chocolate. Not long after Despicable Me 2 came out, a friend took me to a Mexican restaurant for lunch after I suffered a romantic setback (scummy boy lied to me about his marital status; thank God it hadn’t gone past flirting, and I now avoid him like a plate of raw oysters).
    I was severely bummed, more at people in general than anything, and asked the waiter whether they served guacamole chip hats. He’d seen the movie too and laughed and seriously brought me a free order of guac. It was not in a wearable chip hat, but it was delicious and, as I mentioned, free. And I thought, as I munched on chips and my delicious free guac, hey, some men are nice.

  • sgm

    I tried to take the survey but it said it was closed. I know I came a day late to the party but I wanted to add my two rubles. So I’ll just say here that I love RMNB. Thanks for all the hard work you put in.

  • Rhino40

    At least you got to participate in the survey….when I tried it was like “Survey closed”…

  • Bugs Fire

    I have spent long enough time in this country to learn that for vast majority of North Americans communism is synonymous with what I prefer to call Bolshevik dictatorship. Perhaps Owen is different from this baseline, in which case I apologize, but if so he should have known that actual idea of communism has little to do with Russians. If few men owning land via persistent intimidation of its population is communism, then Genghis Khan was a communist too.

    There are several parts of your post that I would like to comment on, but I doubt rmnb is a right place for this kind of discussion. If you care for details, feel free to email me off-list (http://tinymailto.com/e862).